How do you "mindfully" handle rejection?
Live your life for you not for anyone else. Dont let the fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself. ~Sonya Parker
"What did I do wrong?" or "Why don't they want to talk to me no more?" or "I'm just not worth it to anyone" I bet hearing these words make you feel you not someone good enough-right? As unpleasant as "rejection" is IT'S PART OF LIFE, and even me and mine is not exception. As time went by and I had kids and allowed myself to engage in the worls, I invited rejection into my life. A crush I had only wanted to be friends. Something I ran for in school I wasn't elected. I didn't get that promotion. Wow rejection friggin hurts!!!
Discussion:
1. What does rejection look like to you?
2. When you are rejected how do you think and feel? Can you explain this?
3. Now that you shared on how you are feeling and thinking, how do you think mindfulness skills can help refocus you and give you some grounding?
4. Can you share on some skills that help you desculate the negative feelings/thoughts when you are dealing with rejection?
Some helpful mindfulness exercise:
Why We All Need To Practice Emotional First Aid-Ted Talks https://bit.ly/1vTarDo
How to Handle Rejection as a High Sensation Seeking, Highly Sensitive Person https://bit.ly/2iwiyu6
Dealing With Rejection https://bit.ly/2nO6er1
4 ways Mindfulness can help with rejection https://bit.ly/2w2rjkn
@awesomerainbow @adocker @adventurousfan @Ady23 @AutumnLeigh @amiablePeace77 @AMusicalSilence @astray @AnActiveListener @AjanMalic @adaptiveLight27 @aifos1976 @agreeablekite4304 @asilentobserver @alfalfasproutdeux @ambitiouschestnut9158 @ambitiouscity3124 @basty @blueocean @BillyWilson @babybenfin @behindhazeleyes @billywilson @BlueberryFriend @blueocean45 @borderinline @BuddhistDracula @blueDiamond @brilliomturtle89 @bluewolf1229 @benevolentOrange31 @callforhelp @char1otte @CrissiArabela @Claito @calmHero86 @courtmarievibes @DarkCoffee @diplomaticShade2167 @Deeperblue @enigmaforte @EnigmaForte @emilyLanes @EmunahHere @EastAfrique @Eccho@Evaparker02 @essdee Fairhouse @FreeSoul1417@fighter23 @Gaara @GhostInTheShellx @Gozzil @happydandan @helpfulHuman4993 @helping2findaway @Harleemoon @honeydinkley @Hereyzzil @hopeless104 @InvisibleAngel92 @Itsybitsyspider91 @inventiveOrange1 @joyoussun45 @kindsoul10 @kirtokun0731@kevan @Kodachrome73 Joe2017 @JustLikeMellie @Jenna0903 @joyoussun47 @JenSee @KatMae @KrinkTheMellowUnicorn @kvo8 @KattPiper @Lionellinu13 @lia345 @Learntolive @LilaGrace @lightforlife @lilynoelle @LilyLila @lightofhope89 @Lovejoy @leothelittlelioncub1 @melliontm @Mikey123 @Musicismyfriend @NoDramaBabyLlama @nourrirvotreame @obie2 @oxfordshiregatsby @passionatepeyton @Pat @peacefulwarrior10 @penguinpower31 @peppermintlove @phoenixAsh @PiecesofYou@pleiades20 @Pininin @PinkMallow @pizzalover1341 @politeAvocado7234 @politelychaotic @princessofcurcus @probius @psalm139 @PurpleSnowflake2310 @Power @politeskies6536 @rachelq @resilience @rumplesteeleskin @rosesway @Rcusick12 @sailorelix @saif1for1 @Saltydog68 @ Samar27 @santysan @sensitiveShade5337 @silverWillow1625 @singblue @smileyPower @Softforesthsp77 @soulrestorer102 @soulsings @Spearstar @sujaypai @SunFern @SunFlower @sweetmango91 @summertimesamness @stillLavender24 @tazcares @tjb28 @tisjme @unicornbunny @victoriia @wildcat85 @Wawas @XxOgSpunBbygrl @yogibear10 @yzxil @zeraphim
Do something that makes you happy, or try something new.
1. What does rejection look like to you?
That's a tough question. I suppose I'm supposed to say that rejection is the experience of being turned down/turned away, but when I consider the word that's not what I envision. If I suggest a restaurant to someone and they don't accept the idea, I don't consider that rejection, though it technically is. Rejection seems to imply the response of revulsion; like suggesting pizza when you want burgers, versus suggesting pizza with anchovies, which a sizeable number of people find disgusting. In turn, if I make an offer or presentation to someone and they politely decline, its one thing, but if they respond as if I had offended them by making the offer, its something else.
2. When you are rejected how do you think and feel? Can you explain this?
Again, this is based on the above. Making someone an offer they aren't interested in doesn't bother me, but to be exposed to outright revulsion is something that undercuts my self esteem and makes me wish I had not even tried, and resolved to not try again.
3. Now that you shared on how you are feeling and thinking, how do you think mindfulness skills can help refocus you and give you some grounding?
I'm honestly not sure, considering the problem is not actually fear of rejection, per se, but of the definition of rejection that presumes aggressiveness. It is not that someone might not be interested in me, but that someone might take my interest in them as offensive.
4. Can you share on some skills that help you desculate the negative feelings/thoughts when you are dealing with rejection?
The best I've come up with so far is to try to avoid those situations; I usually try to avoid engaging with people where such a response might be considered possible, and try to disengage if the situation seems ambiguous.
Rejection is being turned invisible and being turned into an unwanted ghost.
1. What does rejection look like to you?
Rejection to me is being stopped from pursuing something. Whether it be being rejected when asking someone out or being rejected a job offer, you are unable to pursue the thing/person because you were told no.
2. When you are rejected how do you think and feel? Can you explain this?
When I am rejected I feel very worthless. I often think "why wasn't I good enough?" I also look at myself very negatively and say things like "Oh, if you were nicer maybe you would have gotten it." or "if you weren't so ugly maybe they would have said yes." I also get a sense of regret, I regret even asking or going for the thing. I should have known better than to think it would work out in my favor.
3. Now that you shared on how you are feeling and thinking, how do you think mindfulness skills can help refocus you and give you some grounding?
I think they can help keep me focused on the present and dealing with my emotions in the current moment. Also, mindfulness skills can help turn the negative thoughts I have into more positive ones.
4. Can you share on some skills that help you deescalate the negative feelings/thoughts when you are dealing with rejection?
My favorite is Turn The Mind. Basically anytime you have a negative thought you just immediately turn it into something positive. For example, "I'm ugly" turns into "I'm beautiful" and if you keep doing it, eventually that "I'm ugly" thought doesn't come around as quickly as the "I'm beautiful" thought does, or at all.
Hey
To me rejection is when someone's emotions, desires, and or efforts are let down and invalidated.
When I am rejected, by let's say a person I'm interested in, I feel really down and hurt because most likely I have put a lot of effort and compassion into a relationship with them, and I'm sensitive when my feelings for them aren't returned. I will almost always take a few days away from this person, and give them and myself some space to breathe and think.
It is good to remember that this person is their own person and that their opinion and feelings should be respected and understood.
By letting there be a few days or a short break between me and that person, I am able to collect my emotions, I am able to react in a more put together way, and face them with a more respectful manner.
Act. Not react. When I get rejected I take a deep breath process as I need to and move on. Begging or pleading or hoping for someone to change their mind never got me anywhere other than feeling worse for not having had the self love self respect and dignity to just walk away in the first place. And its gotten easier to do as Ive practiced accepting that sometimes the answer is no not yes. I tell my seven year old that all the time. I started listening to myself like I need to practice what I preach to her. That its sometimes better the answer is no or we dont get our way. Growth isnt easy but its been worth it.
I understand Rejection as Redirection to something better :)
We usually focus on what we have lost when we face rejection but its more important to focus on what we have gained.. thats how we learn from our experiences :) We can turn our adversity into self growth and self exploration... with every rejection we grow stronger ;)
@RumpleSteeleSkin
What does rejection look like to you? Rejection is when people do not agree with my ideas and I mistakenly believe they do not like me
2. When you are rejected how do you think and feel? Can you explain this? Feeling less movitated.
3. Now that you shared on how you are feeling and thinking, how do you think mindfulness skills can help refocus you and give you some grounding? By focusing on present surroundings and breathing I focus less on what I think people might believe.
4. Can you share on some skills that help you desculate the negative feelings/thoughts when you are dealing with rejection? Take a deep breath and let it out. Let my body relax.
What a great question! I am intentional about reminding myself who and what I DO have when I lose a person. I also remind myself that it is always ok and allowable to not please everyone.
I will ask questions. Rationalize it. Find something sarcastic to say about it. Walk away