Mindfulness Daily Check In May 11, 2018
Forgiving Fridays: To me there is a lot about Friday that is special. It means we struggle through the week to some extent and we succeeded! Yayyy! Just getting to Friday is success. Let's celebrate!
Let's also talk about forgiveness - for others and for ourselves and how that impacts our mental health. For instance, Fridays are also special as a time to let go of grudges and expectations of what we might have done. Let go of all this. This is all part of forgiving. We give thanks for our accomplishments and we give ourselves a "No worry" for things that did not go so well.
What does forgiveness look or feel like? Forgiveness is letting go. It is an acceptance that however things turned out they turned out. So it is. Forgiveness is non-judging. It is freedom from expectations and the shoulds. It is a being present in this moment and not thinking of some other moment that you would be better.
How does forgiveness of ourselves and others affect our mental health? It allows us a fresh start. It ditches the past experiments that did not work out the way we wanted to and allows us to give up the struggle with the characters in our head that we still try to please and or assuage. It allows us to be content however this week turned out. It shows us we can be mature and not react like a child. Forgiveness gives us a new lease on life.
How can you forgive yourselves or others?
If you find it hard to forgive, how can you let go of the past that still troubles you?
What can you do right now to start living without the guilt?
To add or remove your name, please submit this short form https://goo.gl/NQxyyb
@303315 @awesomerainbow @adocker @adventurousfan @Ady23 @amicableBlackberry1972 @AutumnLeigh @amiablePeace77 @AMusicalSilence @astray @AnActiveListener @AjanMalic @aifos1976 @asilentobserver @alfalfasproutdeux @ambitiouschestnut9158 @ambitiouscity3124 @Asimov @badoinkitydoop @basty @blueocean @BillyWilson @babybenfin @behindhazeleyes @beloved316 @BetterTogether101 @BeyondTheInvisible @billywilson @blindfaith @BlueberryFriend @BlueMossWeaver27 @blueocean45 @borderinline @brainybrainy @BridgetAileen @brilliantTurtle89 @BuddhistDracula @blueDiamond @brendenjensen @brilliomturtle89 @bluewolf1229 @benevolentOrange31 @bk20102kb @brightChestnut4066 @busyemptymind @callforhelp @calmHero86 @CaringBrit @Catlover1993 @Char1otte @Chocolateandcakes @Claito @cloudySummer @compassionatelistener108 @cookeybear @courageousCake401 @CrissiArabela @courtmarievibes @Cyanapricot8399 @cyanWater7627 @DanaMH @diplomaticShade2167 @Deeperblue @diplomaticconfucious @discreetOwl14 @elmira73 @enigmaforte @EnigmaForte @emilyLanes @EmOnTheGo @EmunahHere @epitium @equanimousCosmos @ErRoach @Evaparker02 @essdee Fairhouse @FreeSoul1417@fighter23 @frozenmermaid @Gaara @gentlePeace76 @ghofrane @GhostInTheShellx @gongoozlersoup19 @Gozzil @gracefuldeadlyswan @happydandan @happylove2611 @helpfulHuman4993 @helpfulBranch221 @Harleemoon @Hope3729 @hopefulnatural @houserabbitsrule @HeckhoundBreaker5 @helpfullBranch221 @Hereyzzil @hopeless104 @humorouscamp915 @IcyLight @InvisibleAngel92 @Itsybitsyspider91 @inventiveOrange1 @JayTheBird14 @joyoussun45 @JustMarije @JZack45 @keion @kindsoul10 @kirtokun0731@kevan @klemen @knowledge57 @Kodachrome73 @Joe2017 @JustLikeMellie @Jenna0903 @joyoussun47 @JenSee @justconfuses87 @Kanzi @KatMae @KokoroHereForYou @kvo8 @KattPiper @Kumiko @ladibugca @LG22 @Lionellinu13 @lia345 @Learntolive @LilaGrace @Lifeislove123 @lightforlife @lilynoelle @LilyLila @lightofhope89 @Lovejoy @leothelittlelioncub1 @longing4peace @maibock @marsmoon @melliontm @melliotm @Mellietronx @Mikey123 @MistyMagic @motivationalhomegirl @Musicismyfriend @NancySV1 @natg @navyFarm1407 @NevaehRose @niceTangerine6642 @NoDramaBabyLlama @NotQuiteBlue @nourrirvotreame @obie2 @onwardforevenmore @oxfordshiregatsby @P4ND0R4 @passionateCircle3866 @peacefulwarrior10 @penguinpower31 @peppermintlove @philispohicalShip9444 @PiecesofYou @Pininin @PinkDaisy83 @PinkMallow @pinkpurpleblue15 @Pinnae @pizzalover1341 @politeAvocado7234 @politelychaotic @princessofcurcus @probius @psalm139 @PurpleSnowflake2310 @politeskies6536 @PurpleNina @rachelq @raspberry985 @Raspberrybeach @rationaltiger8083 @Ravenclaw7 @reliableWater8763 @Reokiome0928 @rezasophiea @RoninSelecta @rosesway @Rcusick12 @roseMelody95 @rumplesteeleskin @RynnTheBedouin @Sageypie @Saif1for1Resilience @sail46 @SaimaK @Samar27 @Santysan @SarilinaN @ScarletPear1945 @ScotchTape @seacastle @sendingyoulove @SensitiveApple @sensitiveShade5337 @SentientCozyTeacup @ShiningSalamander99 @Shweta555 @shy @silverIceCream21 @silverWillow1625 @singblue @Sk1ttles @SkolSuper1976 @sleeplessinmanhattan @Softforesthsp77 @soulrestorer102 @soulsings @Spearstar @stillLavender24 @stillplanet @starhawkemystery @sujaypai @SunFern @summertimesamness @SunFlower @supportingearthangel @sweetmango91 @sweetMelody95 @ThePersonYouCanNeverKnow @TheRoseHeartz @TheSciKid @Tiggergirl @tisjme @TrinnitysLight81 @24x7Awesome @Understandinggirl1990 @unkindloving @uselesscookies @Vargasb @VickyP @victoriia @wildcat85 @Wawas @westvirginia @wizeakre @XxOgSpunBbygrl @yzzil @zeraphim
@soulsings
How can you forgive yourselves or others?
I always find it harder to forgive myself but I am getting better at it. I find it easier to forgive others but I don't forget, I log the experience and learn from it.
If you find it hard to forgive, how can you let go of the past that still troubles you?
Work through it, re-visit the event or action or words and then re-imagine a different outcome, soo the what-if's and if only's will diminish.
What can you do right now to start living without the guilt?
What's done is done, move on!
@MistyMagic thanks for your answers to help us see a way forward to a new day.
@soulsings
Self-Forgiveness is a difficult thing I think because we know ourselves, we know our motivations, we know our capabilities and we judge ourselves harshers and to higher-standards than we would others.
Guilt - placed by others or self-ordained - is a very difficult obstacle on this path and is often abused by others like family, employers, and others to drive home that you didn't do what THEY wanted and at some point, somehow that wicked little weed can just take over and run tendrils over every decision we make and every behavior or action we show.
I'm struggling here.... ::: sigh ::: for many of the reasons above -- and right now, they aren't easing up any.
This reminds me of a quote I saw recently and have added it to my personal collection...
It's not a matter of letting go -- you would if you could.
Instead of 'Let it go' we should probably say
'Let it be'
----- Jon Kabat-Zinn
@diplomaticconfucious I am sorry you are struggling. Unfortunately the world is looking for our buttons to get advantage because they think they can get ahead by taking from others. This is far from reality as the universe operates on the principal "My own will come to me" "Or all that appears in my world is my own consciousness."
I have tried to let go, but often the more I try to let go the harder it is to let go. So now I focus on something else and since I can only focus on one thing at a time and so when I do refocus, the thing I wanted to let go of is not in the forefront of my mind when I refocus.
Recognize that he was my teacher, and see the lesson underneath all the emotions. Now that he has taught me much about myself and about love, the teacher must go away. Its ok to release him and hope for more. He served me in that way and taught me a difficult lesson, but one I needed to learn to grow into a more loving human. I forgive 100% but definitely will never forget. And won't stop loving him either. The last thing I can do as part of this process is to stop hoping, and let go. Not there yet.
@onwardforevenmore yes I agree we all grow up and need to try our wings. Nice post.
@soulsings
Hia Souls great for sharing this very detailed but important check in today
Wow anything dealing with forgivness takes practice over and over and.....I know for many in life this is very hard to do, for so much trauma and past abuse. But I also see once they do it and have totally forgiven 1 person they love the feeling they recieve on this. Freedom I say. I believe Mindfulness plays a huge part of forgiving others and even ourselves. As we have to check in with ourselves and see if this is the right moment to do this. As well as being aware of the other.
How can you forgive yourselves or others?
I believe to do some inner thinking. Like how does it feel when YOU are forgiven. That same feeling others may feel to. Also to realise what relief of stored unhealthy feelings you can release.
If you find it hard to forgive, how can you let go of the past that still troubles you?
I have trouble in this area a bit. But I manage. I keep sharing to myself "are you being hurt right now?" no it is just a moment of a memory then a feeling or two
What can you do right now to start living without the guilt?
Being mindful of how Im feeling and thinking. Am I in the past today or in the moment. Don't judge myself just notice this and then be in today. Be kind to me
@RumpleSteeleSkin being kind to ourselves is so important but can be challenging with all the misinformation we were taught. Thanks for reaching out in the Friday Forgiveness thread.
@soulsings
aawww thanks Souls-thanks alot
@soulsings Lovely post for a Friday :)
How can you forgive yourselves or others?
I'm not quite sure how forgiveness happens, all I can say from experience when you are ready to forgive and let things go it just happens. Having said that something in the present will always on occasion bring the past back like slap on the face but with time you can adjust yourself knowing it is the past and nothing to do with this moment in time.
If you find it hard to forgive, how can you let go of the past that still troubles you?
If you start to appreciate the little happinesses of the present moment then you may just realise that maybe because of a tough past you have the happiness today. What I mean, is I often say to my friends who came later in my life that I would not change any rough tough moment in my past if it means the goods times I have shared with them now. I say the same to my school friends too that I would change the past if meant not having the years of friendship we have today. If you are grateful for what you have today then the past shouldn't matter too much.
What can you do right now to start living without the guilt?
Right now, living in the moment, focusing on one's own well being, breathing, all these little things right now will start to create the past for the future. Guilt is just another emotion which comes and goes like the waves of an ocean, sometimes gentle, sometimes crashing but it doesn't mean that we have to stand by and take that crashing wave. We can move position to stand back a little to watch that crashing wave instead of letting it drown us. Guilt like any other strong emotion, just let it be and focus on the here and now or your own breathing and guilt will too in time pass by.
@knowledge57 thanks for sharing your wonderful responses. My rough experiences were the source of my greatest learning!
@soulsings Hi Soul! <3 How are you? I hope you are having a wonderful Friday! <3
How can you forgive yourselves or others?
I can forgive myself or others by letting go of any pain, hurt, anger, judgment, or any negative emotion I have and just be open and accepting instead. :)
If you find it hard to forgive, how can you let go of the past that still troubles you?
I am still struggling with working on this, but the main point is to keep trying every day to let go of the past for a better tomorrow for yourself by slowly forgiving little things here and there day by day. <3
What can you do right now to start living without the guilt?
In regards to myself, I can become more self-compassionate and not guilt myself for taking it easy one day of the week so that I may continue to work hard without negatively impacting my health. And so, I can repeat and read positive reaffirmations to remind myself that it is okay to take care of myself.
@SaimaK I agree keep practicing every day to open the clinging hand and releasing the feelings of guilt
@soulsings Thank you, Soul! <3 :)
How can you forgive yourselves or others?
Accept things for what they are and let go of the past.
If you find it hard to forgive, how can you let go of the past that still troubles you?
By trying to live only in the present (Mindfullness is key in this) and trying to be kinder to myself.
What can you do right now to start living without the guilt?
Understand that nobody is perfect and that everyone makes mistakes. I have to accept myself for what I am.
@placidSquare9564 thanks for sharing those ideas about forgiveness!
