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Forum Discussion: How can we help to motivate others?

User Profile: blossombreathe
blossombreathe March 12th, 2018

Heya everyone - super happy to see you here! :3 heart

The Motivation and Self Help sub-community has only just launched (woohoo!), if you haven't joined yet, check out all the wonderful posts we've made so far and get participating here.

There will be 7 questions in this discussion, and well be posting a new question every day. Make sure you subscribe to this thread so you know when a new question has been posted!

The question for today is:

How would YOU define motivation? (not Google c:)

My definition: Motivation is the will to do something, supported with a reason you believe in to do something :3

So, join in and share with us what motivation means to you! Let us know! ^-^ *huggles* :3 heart

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User Profile: BeingTheRealME2018
BeingTheRealME2018 March 14th, 2018

I think it begins with validating how they feel. And if you can't then you know you can't help them. Better assess that before hand and be honest with yourself. If you can then you try to motivate them but you do it slowly gauging how they react and what works for them. You know there's a difference in having to call someone at 4 in the morning and someone that could just use a text or two once in a while to keep them going. You have to be mature, honest and willing for real to deal with it, but you also have to be smart for your sake as well.

User Profile: Totheskyandbeyond
Totheskyandbeyond March 14th, 2018

Question 2: Why do you think motivation is important in our daily life?

To feel excited to do the things you have to do.

1 reply
User Profile: lovelyWhisper66
lovelyWhisper66 March 14th, 2018

@Totheskyandbeyond I agree with you! Motivation helps us be excited for what lies ahead in life. Thank you so much for sharing!

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User Profile: Totheskyandbeyond
Totheskyandbeyond March 14th, 2018

Question 3: How do you motivate yourself?

I self-talk and listen music that fills me with energy and get me to the mood like "Let's do this"

2 replies
User Profile: LinearWaves
LinearWaves March 15th, 2018

@Totheskyandbeyond

Self-talk and energizing music sound like great ways to get to this lets do this mood! (I love how you call it, so accurate!)

Thank you for sharing ❤️

1 reply
User Profile: Totheskyandbeyond
Totheskyandbeyond March 15th, 2018

@LinearWaves Sure. I hope it can help someone else.

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User Profile: Mellietronx
Mellietronx March 14th, 2018

laughter :)

1 reply
User Profile: LinearWaves
LinearWaves March 15th, 2018

@Mellietronx

Laugher can be such a good motivation!

Thank you for sharing ❤️

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User Profile: mombrad
mombrad March 15th, 2018

I write down my goals & maybe why I want or don't want something. Writing it down makes it feel more tangible & helps me remember all the reasons to keep going.

1 reply
User Profile: LinearWaves
LinearWaves March 15th, 2018

@mombrad

Writing our goals down can definitely make them more tangible and help us remember them! I find that it's some kind of contract with myself if they are written down somewhere 😊

Thank you for sharing ❤️

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User Profile: Ivisa
Ivisa March 15th, 2018

Infuse your life with action. Don't wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen... yourself, right now, right down here on Earth. smiley

User Profile: sunnyAcai8948
sunnyAcai8948 March 15th, 2018

DO IT. JUST DO IT.

DON'T LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS.

JUST DO IT!!!!!!!

1 reply
User Profile: blossombreathe
blossombreathe OP March 16th, 2018

@sunnyAcai89487

very motivational indeed x3 thank you lovely!

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User Profile: RamzyT01
RamzyT01 March 15th, 2018

Its getting hard and harder for me guys, i can take this anymore.

1 reply
User Profile: lovelyWhisper66
lovelyWhisper66 March 15th, 2018

@RamzyT01 Are you okay? Feel free to reach out to a listener if you want to talk. I hope you feel better!

https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/

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User Profile: lovelyWhisper66
lovelyWhisper66 March 15th, 2018

Hi everyone! Can you believe we are already at the halfway point of the forum discussion? Thank you all so much for your participation so far; this event has truly been a learning experience for me (and I hope the same goes for you).

For our next question, we'll be diving into specific motivators. Motivation comes from various sources, but there are two main categories: external/extrinsic motivation and internal/intrinsic motivation. Eternal motivation involves doing something to gain a reward or to avoid certain outcomes (i.e. to get money, avoid punishment).On the other hand, internal motivation is doing something for your own sake (i.e. a sense of achievement, enjoyment). Now, let's get into question 4!

The question for today is:

Which motivator do you think is more effective: An external motivator, or an internal motivator? Why?

My answer: It depends on the situation. For long term goals (like living healthy), I find internal motivators more effective; I enjoy feeling a sense of achievement when I reach a goal, and I also feel proud. For short term goals (like passing exams), I find external motivators more effective; I want to get top grades and also get praise from my parents.

If you would like to know more about external/extrinsic motivation and internal/ intrinsic motivation with some examples, check out this article. Extrinsic vs. Intrinsic Motivation: What's the Difference?

I look forward to reading your responses! :D



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3 replies
User Profile: TheLandOfHope
TheLandOfHope March 15th, 2018

@lovelyWhisper66 Well for me both external and internal motivators is important because it depends from time to time. For example when I need to nervous that whether I can do something that I want to do or am I capable of doing and reaching my goals at that point I believe that external motivator is what comes in the voice that says "Yes, you can do it! Just believe in yourself" and for example when at times there are situations where I feel like maybe things won't be the same and nothing good can happen that's when the internal motivator kicks in and makes me feel like "No matter how hard situations get never give up and always keep trying because sometimes even from the worst situations you can end up finding something good"

3 replies
User Profile: lovelyWhisper66
lovelyWhisper66 March 15th, 2018

@TheLandOfHope I totally agree that both are vital given the situation. Both internal and external motivators certainly give us the kick to push forward in their own ways. Thanks for sharing!

User Profile: charmingHickory5297
charmingHickory5297 March 16th, 2018

@TheLandOfHope I agree. I feel internal motivation is a necessary driver of actions, but I can get into an unhealthy habit of dismissing myself when I make a small mistake. My depression just tells me to give up, go to sleep, and nothing is worth anything. My anxiety tells me Im not worth anything. An inner motivation does power my actions but external motivation can steer it and keep it on track. When other people tell me Im doing fine its really helpful. After getting my SAT back I focused on the fact that I didnt get a perfect score and beat myself up about it. It took other people reminding me that I dont have to be perfect and that technically 99th percentile is actually good for me to realize it. I know it was an overreaction and I know it seems weird, but I felt like I failed and didnt want to study for anything or do anything at all. It took others reactions for me to think maybe I didnt fail and everything wasnt hopeless.

1 reply
User Profile: TheLandOfHope
TheLandOfHope March 16th, 2018

@charmingHickory5297 I agree because sometimes even just one person telling you that 'Yes you can do it and you did great' can help a lot. Because sometimes all you need is some words of support and advice to get going.

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User Profile: charmingBeauty55
charmingBeauty55 March 15th, 2018

@lovelyWhisper66

I wanna be in the tag list plz

2 replies
User Profile: lovelyWhisper66
lovelyWhisper66 March 15th, 2018

@charmingBeauty55 Hi there, I believe I tagged you; maybe it was a typo. I apologize if you didn't get the notification!

1 reply
User Profile: charmingBeauty55
charmingBeauty55 March 15th, 2018

@lovelyWhisper66

Not a problem its okay ... But thanks for replying heartsmiley

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User Profile: Erato
Erato March 15th, 2018

@lovelyWhisper66 Oh we're already halfway through :o amazing! Anyway, though it's already given that both are important because they somehow make you feel motivated. For me, intrinsic motivation can be more rewarding than the other because with this, it's like your will to do things is what pushing you to achieve them. It's more of a willingness because you like what you're doing and you're passionate about it that helps you to achieve goals. While extrinsic talks about doing things just to feel satisfied in the end for the sake of just getting rewards or shaking things off of your shoulders. Though, both are logical to be motivators. I just find intrinsic more meaningful because it's not like you're being forced to do such things so you can finally get rid of what's blocking your way.

Intrinsic motivation happens when I usually read novels to finish them or achieving and accomplishing things here on 7cups because I don't feeling being pressured to complete them at all.
Extrinsic motivation occurs for me when it's about school stuff and when doing house chores because they're not things I usually love doing hehe xD

1 reply
User Profile: lovelyWhisper66
lovelyWhisper66 March 15th, 2018

@Erato Hi there, I love your comparison between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. Yes, I agree that passion and willpower play a huge role in intrinsic motivation; with extrinsic motivation, you feel more pressure to do something for somebody else's sake. Thank you for sharing!

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User Profile: peacefulHug92
peacefulHug92 March 15th, 2018

@lovelyWhisper66 I think I would say internal goals, because if we it for external reasons, eg not getting punished, the fear of that might make us crash or totally avoid it. I can definitely see where external goals are useful, however for me, I think internal goals are more effective cheeky

1 reply
User Profile: lovelyWhisper66
lovelyWhisper66 March 15th, 2018

@peacefulHug92 For sure, intrinsic motivation is actually considered to be more effective in the long term and longer lasting. External motivation can definitely cause stress and fear especially if you are trying to avoid punishment. Thanks for sharing!

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User Profile: Reececup1986
Reececup1986 March 15th, 2018

@lovelyWhisper66

Thank you and Yes i must agree with your Awenser.

I find it to that it depends on the situation.

Long term goals say healthy living is more of a internal motivators and is something that can be done. Having the feeling of finishing a goal is a job well done and its a joyful feeling when reaching that goal, its like a over flow of being proud.

Now

Short term goals,like applying and passing badge trainings are more external motivators and are able to be done. Its like seeking to be the best and well thought of Listener and have the most badges and look on as a Honor.

2 replies
User Profile: lovelyWhisper66
lovelyWhisper66 March 15th, 2018

@Reececup1986 I love the comparisons you make! Indeed, with long term goals, internal motivation definitely works out better; it's like personal satisfaction is gained. It's funny that you mention 7Cups badges as part of short term goals; I feel like many listeners can relate (including myself hehe). Getting those badges is quite satisfying for ourselves but also shows our dedication and status to others. Thank you for sharing with us!

1 reply
User Profile: Reececup1986
Reececup1986 March 15th, 2018

@lovelyWhisper66

Thank you for the comment and yes it does and yes it shows others that we train for our skills as well. When I thank of it you can get a good laugh because its true for use here at 7Cups

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User Profile: FrogOnABlog
FrogOnABlog March 15th, 2018

@lovelyWhisper66 I agree. There is no one answ'r to this question. I also would encourage others to take small, seemingly insignificant steps toward a goal. Even getting outside for five minutes can be helpful for someone trapped in a depression.

1 reply
User Profile: lovelyWhisper66
lovelyWhisper66 March 15th, 2018

@FrogOnABlog I find that motivation is quite subjective and is viewed differently by the individual. You make a great point about baby steps; even one small thing can help in the long term. Thanks for sharing!

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User Profile: Booklover95
Booklover95 March 15th, 2018

@lovelyWhisper66

Both are important. When I'm at my worst I really need an external one for sure. But most days , in my daily life, an internal one.

1 reply
User Profile: lovelyWhisper66
lovelyWhisper66 March 15th, 2018

@Booklover95 Indeed, the type of motivators we rely on definitely depends on the situation including how we are feeling. During bad times, it is understandable that we need outside motivation (like a support system). I am glad that you have internal motivation for most days. Thank you for sharing!

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User Profile: neatBalloon7178
neatBalloon7178 March 15th, 2018

@lovelyWhisper66

I think you are right, that it depends on the situation whether external or internal motivators work better. I tend to think that internal motivators are what drive me most of the time, but I can see that this is not always the case. For instance, I frequently seek approval from people, even if I tell myself that I don't care what they think. So in that way, people can have an external motivating factor on me. Probably one of the biggest sources of external motivation for me is homework deadlines, since I will almost always get the assignment done, even if I absolutely don't feel like it.

1 reply
User Profile: lovelyWhisper66
lovelyWhisper66 March 15th, 2018

@neatBalloon7178 I like the example you use of when you depend on external motivators. Indeed, approval from others is a common external motivator for many situations, and it can be seen as good or bad! Ah, deadlines are fine examples as well. Thank you for sharing with us!

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User Profile: Power2DoGood
Power2DoGood March 15th, 2018

@lovelyWhisper66 External motivators are definitely important. As someone struggling with apathy, I can't seem to ever find internal motivation to do anything.

1 reply
User Profile: lovelyWhisper66
lovelyWhisper66 March 15th, 2018

@Power2DoGood You make a fair point; when we feel at our lowest, we don't really have much internal motivation. At that point, external motivators can definitely help us out. Mood definitely plays a huge role with motivation. Well, I'm sure you will find internal motivation soon. 7Cups is full of external motivators! :) Feel free to reach out to a listener if you ever wish to talk. Thanks so much for sharing!

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User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 March 15th, 2018

@lovelyWhisper66

this is an interesting post, thanks.

both are important, I believe, however, that self-motivation is the most important one because when feeling down and my "self-motivator" cannot do alone what is required, he will still function and tell me e.g. go and switch a motivational video on because i cannot help you alone.

I see self-motivation as the basis or starting point and external motivation as a tool.

1 reply
User Profile: lovelyWhisper66
lovelyWhisper66 March 15th, 2018

@amiablePeace77 I find your analogy quite fascinating! I can totally see how internal motivation acts as a starting point. External motivation are like tools that can assist with the internal motivation. They can work hand in hand. Thanks so much for sharing!

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User Profile: rebecca947
rebecca947 March 16th, 2018

@lovelyWhisper66

Good question and I've never thought that both are good. I've always been of the belief that intrinsic motivators are the most powerful because they come from the inside. They don't rely on anyone but yourself, and hence the goals and the motivation you feel is in line with your values. But it's a good point, short-term extrinsic motivators do help me too sometimes! haha definitely learning a lot from this discussion! I love reading other people's inputs and thinking about them in my head.

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User Profile: lovelyWhisper66
lovelyWhisper66 March 17th, 2018

@rebecca947 I'm so glad you are learning from the forum discussion so far! :) Indeed, I think it is very common for us to see interior motivators as more superior since the drive to do something comes from within ourselves and not outside influences. However, things are not alway black and white. We all see motivation in our own unique ways, and motivation influences us differently as well. Thank you for sharing!

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User Profile: JayTheBird14
JayTheBird14 March 16th, 2018

@lovelyWhisper66

They probably both help in different situations, but I do believe the internal motivators mean more to us, because the goal means more to us. If there is something inside of you that just... moves you towards your goal, than that's something empowering for yourself.

Not sure if other people think about it like that, but I know I like the feeling of accomplishing a goal i did all on my own. For which I didn't need external help or motivators. I just... set my goal and went for it and I've shown myself all along that I'm a strong individual who can accomplish something.

Erm... not sure if I'm still on topic now, oops... But it is something I noticed within myself

1 reply
User Profile: lovelyWhisper66
lovelyWhisper66 March 17th, 2018

@JayTheBird14 Your thoughts make perfect sense! Indeed, I think we all want to accomplish things as independently as possible. Internal motivation can truly differ by the individual of course, and some people like to rely more on it than others; of course, it also depends on other factors as well such as the situation and one's perspective of external motivators. Thanks for sharing with us!

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User Profile: greenDrum3153
greenDrum3153 March 15th, 2018

@blossombreathe

Motivation is the will and dedication to complete tasks towards some personal goal.

1 reply
User Profile: blossombreathe
blossombreathe OP March 16th, 2018

@greenDrum3153

Yes I completely agree with you there - awesome definition! :3

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