Personality Disorders Community Check-in: January 25th-28th, 2021
Heya amazing people!
Everyone has their own recipe for self-care! It’s important to remember that things that work on others might not work for us or not work as much, so we have to find our own special recipe, with the things that work best for us!
How are you feeling today?
What have been some of your recent struggles? How could you work on overcoming them or feel better about them?
What is your own recipe for self-care?
I can’t wait to hear from you all! If you’re not feeling like following the questions, that’s very okay you don’t have to, you can share what’s on your mind, you can say hi, you can grab a hug, whatever feels right for you! Remember that this is a safe place for you to share <3
Sending you all much love,
Waves ~
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I really like the mixing bowl concept that you are using.
@Asherwolfice
All the credit go to the artist who drew this! But yes I totally agree with you, it's a really nice way of putting it!
How are you feeling today? - I'm okay, I just started to feel a bit off.
What have been some of your recent struggles? How could you work on overcoming them or feel better about them? - A struggle has been the craving to SH, I've been ignoring them, But I might try the Ice cube thing.
What is your own recipe for self-care? - I try to spend an hour or more on myself and have one day a week where I really go all out and do whatever I want.
@Goldcherry2113
Hey there ! It’s nice to hear you were feeling okay, you mention starting to feel off though, do you feel something caused it? Also how are you feeling now?
It’s a great thing that you’ve been able to ignore the SH urges, the ice cube thing can definitely be a good one to try, don’t hesitate to look around in the SH recovery subcom, we’ve got some suggestions of other coping mechanisms if the ice cube isn’t enough (or let me know and I’ll link you the posts!)
This is a really great recipe! It’s really cool that you’re taking time for yourself and even a “me” day!
Thanks for checking in, take care!
@LinearWaves I'm not sure, it just kinda seem to come out of nowhere, Just a mood swing I guess. I'll be sure to check it out. Thank you
Can someone help me? I have been struggling to let myself be seen as I am. I think I'm just too scared to reveal myself. I don't think I trust people either. It's really getting messy. I feel caged and suffocating. Hope someone listens. Thanks.
@secretGrapefruit6436 who are you hiding yourself from? is it family or friends? and what do you mean exactly by hiding yourself, is it parts of your personality or how you've been feeling lately?
Hi there! Thanks for the reply. Ever since I stepped into adolescence I have been hiding my sexual feelings unconsciously/unknowingly. I guess I was too scared/ashamed of it. I have regular fantasies yet I felt guilty about it u know. It's now become part of my personality. Hope that throws some more light on it. I am straight.
@secretGrapefruit6436
Hey there ! If you feel the need to discuss it, don’t hesitate to browse the listeners and contact one that might help you ! Sometimes just putting words on things and discussing them can help us bring clarity on them. Fantasies can be tough to manage and it’s easy to feel guilty about them, however they’re fantasies, not everyone has to know about them and you’re allowed to share them with the persons you trust!
Thanks for checking in, take care!
@LinearWaves Thank you for the reply. Yes,I am in touch with a lot of listeners and they are doing a pretty good job in making me feel better. So I'm very thankful to them. Since the issue is with women I prefer female listeners more as they can tell me better about it themselves what's ok what's not ok and stuff like that. As far as fantasies are concerned I guess we all have it,I really don't know why should I be ashamed of it. Guess it's to do with my upbringing or somewhere growing up I just lost my way. The only problem is it's become a part of my personality now and it's killing me to be honest. I'm really weird around women. This listener actually made me feel better saying that there's nothing wrong with me and that infact any woman would be lucky to have me. That meant so much to me and I'm really thankful to her. Thank you once again for checking on me. Cheers 👍
@secretGrapefruit6436
It’s good to know you’re in touch with listeners that are helping ! Everyone has fantasies for sure and due to everyone’s upbringing, sometimes in less open-minded environments, it’s easy to feel shame about it, but there’s no shame to have, everyone has fantasies! Take care!
@LinearWaves
How are you feeling today?.....Well, honestly, just feeling a little "blah" and in a "funk" today.... I know why, and know ways I could go about changing those feelings, but some aren't as easy to do just yet, and some I'm unable to do just yet.... So it leaves me feeling a little "stuck" at the moment.
What have been some of your recent struggles? How could you work on overcoming them or feel better about them?....For me this goes back to my previous response. One of those struggles I haven't found a way to make better, so I know I have to make a change. And one that might leave others unhappy. And because I care, I don't want them to feel that way. Even though I know my choice at this time will be for the best..... And the other issue, I only have partial control over the outcome. And both are leaving me feeling a little irritable lately. Because I feel stuck and stagnant in way that I can proceed in being happier.
What is your own recipe for self-care?......It just depends.. sometimes hot baths, a drive, a walk, a quick get-away, cuddling with my dog, or simply just doing nothing (which requires a blanket, pajamas, and the TV all day). 
@PoliteOcean
Hey there Ocean ! I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling a little blah and in a funk today (that’s a nice way of describing it though!) Sometimes we know the reasons, we also have solutions but we can’t do them yet, or aren’t willing to put in the efforts yet, and it can be quite frustrating and make us feel stuck for sure… I hope you can get unstuck or at least feel better about it soon enough!
About this choice, it sounds like a tough one to take if you know it’s the choice to make but also know it might leave people unhappy… It’s good though that you’re aware that it’s the best choice to make at the moment, it sure doesn’t lift the weight of having to take a choice that will leave people unhappy, but we unfortunately can’t make people happy all the time, some difficult choices have to be taken here and there… As for your other issue, it’s pretty frustrating when knowing you only have a partial control over the situation… I hope that once the difficult choice is taken and once you maybe have a clearer view of the outcomes of the second issue, you will slowly feel unstuck. I like to see it as going up a hill: it is tough and we can’t see past the top of the hill, but past it we discover a whole new landscape! So I hope this landscape can bring easier and happier times!
This sounds like a really complete recipe for self-care! Thanks for sharing it and checking in, take care and I send you all my support and good vibes for the choices you have to make!
@LinearWaves
How are you feeling today?
I've had some positive things happen recently so I'm feeling good.
What have been some of your recent struggles? How could you work on overcoming them or feel better about them?
Disappointment has been a struggle for me to deal with lately. I think I could feel better about this by practicing acceptance that I will, at times, face disappointment again. Also, I can practice ways to adjust my responses and attitude when disappointments happen. (avoid behaving badly).
What is your own recipe for self-care?
By attending to my senses, mind and body with extra care.
Senses: freshly laundered sheets, scented candles, relaxing music
Mind: read, journal, watch an old movie, or hobbies
Body: eat something good for me followed by a treat, take a walk with my dogs, drink a bottle of water, take a nap
@Sher217
Hey there Sher ! It’s really nice to hear you’ve had some positive things happen recently, that definitely help one feeling good !
Disappointment though is a harder one to handle, practicing acceptance does sound like a good starting point as indeed, we always face disappointments here and there… I don’t know if it’s something you feel like you need working on, but it can also be helpful to have less expectations from people/things so as to end up less disappointed if anything! Adjusting your responses is also a good one, it can be nice when in the moment to take a time out and go back to the situation afterwards when you’re feeling calmer!
This is a really cool recipe, that pretty much sums it all! Thanks for checking in, take care!
@LinearWaves
How are you feeling today?
Ima doing okish
What have been some of your recent struggles? How could you work on overcoming them or feel better about them?
Worrying about a friend with health problems. Dealing with my own various problems.
What is your own recipe for self-care?
Self care is complicated for me.
Hang tough stay pawsome ur friend 🔥
@Fireskye13
Hey there ! It’s nice to hear you’re doing ok(ish)!
I hope your friend goes okay, it can be tough to worry about friends when dealing with our own issues, don’t forget to take good care of yourself too! Are there some hobbies you like that you could do so as to practice self-care?
Thanks for checking in, stay awesome too, take care!
@LinearWaves
1. How are you feeling today?
Like I hate the date of January 26th.That wraps up my whole day.
2. What have been some of your recent struggles? How could you work on overcoming them or feel better about them?
How much time do you have?
3. I could have better luck.I could have more mercy from God.I can’t think of one thing I could do to work on overcoming them or feel better about them, that I am not already doing.
What is your own recipe for self-care?
I make sure I get enough sleep, no matter how much time I spend in bed.I also try to meditate every day for about 45 minutes.I also do a lot of talking to myself, and take a shower every evening to wash the day off me.I’m moving across the country (not of my choosing) this coming Sunday, so I don’t have the mental capacity for much of anything else that is planned.
@purpleTree4652
Hey there ! I’m really sorry to hear that you hate this date… I hope you can feel better!
Don’t hesitate to share your struggles if you need to let them all, we’ve got all the time needed! Especially when we’re stuck with these issues and we can’t do anything about them… don’t hesitate to go check out the DBTuesday discussions, the distress tolerance skills can be helpful when facing a tough situation that we can’t solve…
It sounds like great self-care! Sleep is essential and meditation can be a great help!
Thanks for checking in, take care and best of luck for your move!
@LinearWaves, what are the DBT tuesday discussions? I haven't heard of them. I'm interested.
@purpleTree4652
You can find here all the discussions: https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/DBTuesday_2147/
They're forum posts describing different DBT skills, how and when to use them! I hope they can be helpful!
@LinearWaves
I feel okayish, I guess. These days I have extreme mood swings which I have no control over. It's mostly annoying. I'm edgy, when I am in a bad moment (because I can't even talk about good days or bad days, my mood may just change every few hours) any little thing annoys me easily.
Today I had a wonderful morning, I went for a long walk in the mountain taking pictures. But this afternoon my mood dropped drastically and I just want to lie in bed, alone in the dark which I can't do because of work and family (btw I live with other 6/8 people, it's really hard to find quiet in the house).
I just want that these mood swings would stop because they are useless and annoying and I hate to be like this! I freaking hate myself right now. At times like this, I wish that everything in my body would immediately shut down and I simply stopped existing.
Anyway, this is me being okayish
@VeraSigyn
Hey there! I’m sorry to hear you’ve been experiencing extreme mood swings these days, it can be really frustrating when having no control over them and when being great one second and really down the next without any warning whatsoever… Plus it’s even harder to handle when also having work and not being alone and in peace… Do you feel something is causing them or making them this intense?
I send you all my support, I hope the mood swings get less intense, thanks for checking in, take care!
@LinearWaves Well, I don't know how I'm feeling really. What I'm not feeling is welcome, especially here on 7cups. Idk maybe people don't like me. But hey this is supposed to be a forum where everyone is accepted as they are without any judgements. It's really sad that I have to say this that I don't feel welcome at all. People just seem to have some kind of a bias towards me or am I intimidating I'm not sure. Ever since I posted my [Removed by QuietMagic] experience here with listeners things seem to be just going awry. Yeah so things just stays the same. I know I'm not the best of people,but I'm a human too who is lonely whose struggle is just relevant as anyone else's. I don't want to sound desperate but yeah I do enjoy being here. Well,I'm sure when so many folks from around the world seem to have taken an offence I have only myself to blame. Thanks for letting me express myself.
[Edited by @QuietMagic 11/20/21 to remove contact info]
@Linearwaves Okay guys,I seem to have understood the problem. It was so subtle that it could not have been said but only understood. I'm not really alive,I'm merely existing. A part of me still lies dormant. We may call it the "dark side". I've not really made it functional yet. People want to see what you're from within,but been struggling to say it. No therapist could have told me this,infact could have misguided me asking me not to indulge in it if I'm not comfortable. And that is if at all they came so far! So yeah it's kind of being your own therapist here. Well, great news I would say! You just got to hang in there you'd know all that needs to be known. :)
@rationalSky6452 Your feelings are valid. I'm really sorry that you have felt unwelcome. We appreciate that you have joined our community and we welcome you to share all your feelings with us as openly and honestly as you feel comfortable doing. We accept you just the way you are.
@StarlitSky4762 Thank you. That means so much! I'm not allowed to talk to listeners anymore. I don't know it feels so humiliating. You know not every listener might take an offense with you,infact be open with all that you have to share. But not letting someone find the right one is stripping away someone's right to be heard,to be understood and be healed. It's really unfortunate that we take such steps in a forum where the downtrodden,the misunderstood and the neglected is accepted as he/she is.
@rationalSky6452 You can reach out to me if you ever want to talk privately. You are accepted and welcome here within this community by me and all the other members.
@rationalSky6452
Hey there ! Just like @StarlitSky4762 is saying it so well, and just like you’re saying it too, I wanted to let you know too that your feelings and struggles are definitely just as relevant as anyone else’s! I’m really sorry to hear that you haven’t been feeling welcomed on here, whether with listeners or even in the forum… Unfortunately I can’t say anything about the rest of the platform but know that in this subcom I can guarantee you that you’ll be welcomed in these check ins, welcomed to share your feelings, struggles, thoughts, anything that is on your mind without any judgment! And I definitely hope that among 7cups you can find a few reliable listeners to talk to, as after all it is intended to be a safe space for everyone to share their feelings and be heard.
As for your dark side, I’m not fully sure to understand what you mean there and I don’t want to assume anything, if you’d like to share more of your thoughts about it, don’t hesitate!
Thanks for joining and checking in, take care!
@LinearWaves Absolutely! "Afterall it is intended to be a safe space for everyone". But is it? Just because a few listeners take offense with what you have to share,with your personality, you take away his rights to express himself with someone who is more open and accomodating? Is this what your platform promises to those who come here seeking help and support?
@rationalSky6452
It is intended to be a safe place for everyone, I do agree though that from what you’re saying, it doesn’t look like it’s the case… I don’t know how things are run, I’m only a volunteer and only involved in the check ins of this subcom so all I can do is make sure you’re welcomed on here, which I hope you will feel!
@LinearWaves Okay. Cool. Thanks. :)
@LinearWaves You can't bear with me,can you? I would have understood if they said we need a century or more to accommodate someone like me in the East where I come from,but this is supposed to be the far West. I did come with a lot of hope to be honest. I did have a lot of hopes on the whites. I do speak my mind because that's how I like being.
