So how do I ask or answer a question?
Hi wonderful community Rumple here
I am the leader of the QandA team and today we are gonna look at a new way of asking questions and also answering them.
So, why is it necessary to ask questions and answer them in a better way?
As many of you know all the questions asked/answered come up on google. People that are not on 7cups may have a mental health question and UP comes 7cups QandA question/answer. Here is an example:
"Why can't I force myself to go to class?"
This question is asked by a member. Now let's see how it looks like on Google:
So you see every question that the team approves goes right to Google-amazing right
Here are some examples of how NOT to ask a question.
Examples:
"Wondering do I love him or not?"
"How do I do this!"
"My emotionally abusive gf is ignoring me and it hurts so bad I love him and cant leave him?"
These 3 examples are good questions and important- but they need to be longer questions. By adding more information ensures a better response. Make sure the question is a question. Like the 3rd example, there is no question. Too short of questions makes it harder to determine how to answer right. And we want everyone's questions to get validation and approvedSo let's try and get these 3 questions improved some!
1. "Wondering do I love him or not?"
"I am having these feelings about whether or not I love my boyfriend or not. How can I for sure tell if I do or don't?"
2. "How do I do this!"
I just started college and I have a full time job that helps me pay for my car. I am having trouble managing my time. How can I fulfill both things?"
3. "My emotionally abusive gf is ignoring me and it hurts so bad I love him and cant leave him?"
"My emotionally abusive girlfriend is ignoring me and it hurts a lot. I really do love her and don't want to leave. What are some things I can do?"
These are the guidelines we use to Approve the questions and answers:
Here is the guidelines on why your question/answer would be rejected:
***We are also adding this NEW guideline to approving and answering questions***
We are seeing many answers answered with a bit of personal information being shared. And that is okWe want to have more empathy in our answers, kinda like "connecting" with the person who is asking the question. So as long as you share a little of your experience and not adding to much details or advice, stay on topic making sure you are focusing on the person's question, a bit of personal sharing is now approved.
Now let's look at how we can answer these questions showing a bit more empathy, clarity and also sharing a bit of personal experiences without giving advice.
"What are alternative ways besides medication to deal with the physical symptoms of anxiety?"
"I know for me, I do not take medications for my anxiety symptoms. But that is me and some do need some medications to just focus and not let anxity take over their days. I do mindfulness exercises as well as planting, craft things. I also talk about it with people I trust and support me. I'm wondering is there any thing that you like to do that brings you happiness? If so I say try and do those things that helps you to feel calmer and lesson those anxiety symptoms. "
"How do I get over the feeling of people abandoning me?"
"I don't know if the feeling of abandonment really ever leaves a person. I know for me I first shared my fears with a few trusted frinds I had. From their they taught and showed me love, consistancy, honesty and just being there for me. Maybe you can develope some trusted friendships and share on your fears. Those friends can show in their behaviors to you on consistancy and not want to hurt you or abandone you. They will show understanding on your fears. I wish you the best."
Here's how we DO-NOT answer questions:
"What are alternative ways besides medication to deal with the physical symptoms of anxiety?"
"You have to take medicines to handle anxieties.Also face up to your fears in life. In order to get over anxiety you need to face it!"
(We do not answer like this there is no compassion/empathy shown. And again "telling" the person what they should do instead of suggesting some things and letting the person figure out if it will work for them)
"How do I get over the feeling of people abandoning me?"
"You should tell those people what they are doing to you is wrong. How what they are doing makes you feel. The only way to stopping this is sharing how it affects you."
(We do not answer this way as it's advice giving, no empathy. The person answering this is giving only 1 way possible to handle on this person's situation)
I do hope this information helps you all out more on answers and asking questions
@dancingalong@originallove71@caringbrit@electricsmoke@melallyouneedislove@emmur@caringheart23@niamh333
@allnaturalcomfort82@bear228@enchantra@tinugeorge@akshita0612@laura@glenn@itsmichelle@mysteriousdreamer76
@emily619@AffyAvo@pureriver55@enchxntedrose@alexa43@melsue84
Please if you have any questions do pm me. I'm also an ATL @rumplesteeleskin
Every day has new opportunities, new happiness and new vibes. Let's cherish the good things in life and learn to leave the bad things behind.
Let's acknowledge the presence of good people and devote yourself to help the bad ones become good.
@RumpleSteeleSkin
Fantastic guide! Thank you so much Rumple for taking the time and effort to make and share this information.
@RumpleSteeleSkin
Thank you very much for this useful information and for all the work you did to put it together.
@RumpleSteeleSkin
Hey rumple, could i ask a question sorry if it is dumb, but when we are posting things on 7 cups does it come up on google if someone uses a search with the same phrase that we posted?
@Avaray
Hi Avaray thanks for your questionI hope these examples can help answer your question better then me just throwing out an answer.
"Why can't I force myself to go to class?"
This question is asked by a member. Now let's see how it looks like on Google:
"I am having trouble going to class. Is it normal to force myself?"
So the answer is yesGoogle picks up on certain key words and brings it to 7cups on any question/answer some words are picked up on
Hey rumple, could i ask a question sorry if it is dumb, but when we are posting things on 7 cups does it come up on google if someone uses a search with the same phrase that we posted?
@RumpleSteeleSkin
Rumple does it show who we are and our pictures we post with it too?
@Avaray
Question as you just see it on google
When you click it and see the question and answer
So yes who asks a question and who answers it
@Avaray - it's not always about an exact match of words but that does usually make a search result more likely. Also not all pages on 7 Cups are indexed or visible in google, but the Q&A pages are, as are public forums, etc.
Generally, things that require a login to read aren't visible to search engines.
Rumple me again...sorry but i have just googled my screen name with 7 cups and the places i have written come up including my profile, this is freaking me out, I thought our conversations were private, a safe place, but everyone on google can see them. I dont even tell other people about the stuff i talk about here but now anyone can read it it they type the correct words.
@Avaray
HI Avaray please breathe in deep ok
I do understand for some here they don't want others knowing this. If you like you can also ask questions annonymously. When you are asked to put your question in the right topic area, right below it is a button to click on to ask annonymously
@RumpleSteeleSkin
But rumple it's showing chats that are set up by people to have a conversation with another person, their own threads, they are not asking questions, and my last almost 2 years of chats are not anonymous
@Avaray
I am sorry as I am not understanding you. I do want you and others feeling safe. Can you take a picture of what you are trying to share with me please?
@RumpleSteeleSkin
Just type
avaray 7 cups on google, there's my profile my links trying ro help someone through some of the toughist times, anyother profile my name is linked to, type in anyones name and then 7 cups and see what it brings up
@Avaray
Yes that has always been like that.
@RumpleSteeleSkin
But that's not right rumple.... If people knew that their stuff that is probably the worst times in their life that they have never had the courage to face themselves and are now actually getting the courage to interact in a place they are trying to develop trust as they bare their soul and at times even make it through to the next day and they think it's safe, but it isn't rumple... If people knew this, it would break alot of them, and I think you know that is true.
I feel very upset, betrayed is probably the right word and if you read my posts you will see that i dont post strong opinions to offend people, but mostly try help people. But it feels almost like someone has been sitting in on my therapy sessions, even though i know this isnt therapy.
If you asked the people on 7 cups if they knew this, even though you say it has always been that way, how many do you think actually know that? And if they did how many would feel safe to continue writing? It's not about me being difficult it's about people's lives and that they are trying to get through day by day and think they are safe and now finding out that once again they are not safe, once again something has been taken from them.
Trust is huge rumple
@Avaray
Again hugsI really do understand about feeling safe here and not letting people in our lives know we are on here. But its annonymous and unless you share with someone on personal things they can find you with, honestly there is nothing to worry on. I know.............I'm sorry making it sound so simple. I also understand that trust is a very hard thing for hundreds on here. So I am not skirting around that.
I do know that 7cups admin are trying very hard on improving ways to make this a safer place. We have come very far from when I was on here over 3 years ago. Again I will share if you like to answer or ask on questions you can do this annonymously and still continue supporting others.
@Avaray - this is why we have anonymous accounts and do not store chats beyond a certain point, etc.
The forums are not really for chatting but you are free to use them that way. You also can request that a thread be deleted if you no longer wish it to be visible anywhere.
@Avaray
hey avaray! The public forums are visible without needing to log on, this means that anyone can come onto 7 cups and read what you post on here or even search for it on google. Many websites are like this, which is why we recommend not using a username that identifies you. If you post somewhere on here with your username such as on your public feed, the public forums, or in the Q&A forums (without selecting the anonymous feature), they will be linked to your username.
I'm sorry if this is distressing, but I hope this knowledge will allow you to move forward in a way that is safe and comfortable for you <3
@Avaray - None of your conversations are indexed, so I'm not sure what you are finding, but your profile or feed may be visible, and forum posts you've made in the public part of the site are visible. You can also request that your data be deleted if this concerns you, and eventually the search results will update as well.
@Avaray You can sign out of an accout and explore the site, pretty much anything that you can see when not signed in, search engines can pick up. I believe the one exception to this is when the group chatrooms were accessible by guests, those weren't picked up by search engines as far as I know, and currently none of the group chatrooms have guest access anyway.
If there is a forum topic that you started that you are not comfortable with being 'out there' it can be deleted. You can message a forum mentor to have it removed and you are also welcome to tag me asking to delete it.
I have worked on some issues to clear up some confusion when wording on the site made things seem more private than what it was. If you have any suggestions to help make others more aware, there is the suggestion box or you can message an admin, or email community@7cups.com
@AffyAvo
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@AffyAvo
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Privacy, I was not aware, and I'm sure hundreds of others are not aware that whatever they write, probably the worst times ever in their life... Can be view by everyone on google. Somehow by having to log on it feels in a persons mind that there is an aspect of safety involved (Im sure it's written in the privacy statement somewhere, but honestly we know people don't go through all that stuff when they sign up for things, and we are also dealing with Teenagers as well) I found this out the other day after been on 7 cups for almost 2 years, thinking I had some privacy to a large degree. Most support is on the forums and links so this is where most people talk about their lives and build conections and abit of a support group to get through things, finding this out flattened me and I felt basically violated like someone had used part of me. I think if you did a poll on everyone on 7 cups and asked them if they are actually really aware of this they would be horrified.
I propose that once a person has a member account, on the top of every thread heading (that should be viewable even if you are on pg 30 of the origional thread as people sometimes only see the thread once it has been going for awhile and also where a person can create their own threads, and each forum page
(basically viewable at the top of each page a standard preset warning)
** NB PLEASE BE AWARE THAT ANY POSTS MADE ON THIS SITE ARE NOT PRIVATE BUT CAN BE VIEWED BY ANY PERSON. BROWSING THE INTERNET **
This will make people aware that although they think they are logged into a sort of private environment, aware that any private information they write about, any pictures they share, any profile pictures they share or names they use can be seen by everyone. And they will be able to see that reminder on every page and so if they missed it on signing up or forgot etc they will be reminded about the caution on the top of each page and can make the choice every time they post.
I sent this to the link you gave
@AffyAvo
Yes i know I sound like a dog with a bone x 🐾🐾
@Avaray I think it's great you've made a suggestion! I knew the forums were public before I posted, and it does mean that there is certain information that I haven't put in the forums that I have said elsewhere.
@AffyAvo
I will also be adjusting what I post where..
Is chat groups and listener accounts private
@Avaray What you say to a listener in a 1-1 chat is confidential.
The group chats is a little more iffy. For a long time anyone could come in and see what was being said without an account. Later on, some of the chatrooms had guest access, some did not. I don't think search engines were able to get information from chats though, they change too quickly, so you wouldn't see what you posted in a group chat in a Google search as far as I know. Someone with more internet knowledge can hopefully confirm this.
The chatrooms had a recent change, now all of them require an account to enter. If you sign out of your account, you can't just lurk in a chatroom like what was possible a few months ago.
@AffyAvo
Thanks x
I was beginning to feel I was safe, but I realise nowhere will ever be safe that place will never exist.
sorry if i offended you, take care.
You shared this answer: I don't know if the feeling of abandonment really ever leaves a person. I know for me I first shared my fears with a few trusted frinds I had. From their they taught and showed me love, consistancy, honesty and just being there for me. Maybe you can develope some trusted friendships and share on your fears. Those friends can show in their behaviors to you on consistancy and not want to hurt you or abandone you. They will show understanding on your fears. I wish you the best."
Corrected it should read:
I don't know if the feeling of abandonment really ever leaves a person. I know for me I first shared my fears with a few trusted frinds I had. From there they taught and showed me love, consistancy, honesty and just being there for me. Maybe you can develop some trusted friendships and share some of your fears. Those friends can demonstrate in their behavior consistancy by not hurting or abandoning you. They will show understanding of your fears. I wish you the best."
