Confused about the breakup
My boyfriend broke up with me about two weeks ago and I have been very sad and confused about it. I miss him every single day and hope that I will wake up to a text from him. We dated back in Jr. High and recently reconnected he started talking to me. I have been burned a lot in the past so I wanted to take this slow and make sure that we were both on the same page. He had told me that his last relationship ended about three months before we started talking and the way he talked about her sounded like he had for sure moved on. Like I said I was hesitant and he was the one who brought up everything about how quickly he fell in love with me, how he could already see a future with me, and even told me he was looking at engagement rings. He could tell that I still had my guard up and kept reassuring me that he loved me and that he would never be with someone if he didn't love them. His ex ended up getting married to the guy she left him for and everything changed after that. I could tell he was upset about it but yet he kept telling me he saw a future with me and even wanted to start looking at townhomes to get with one another. And then one day he just finally said we need a mental health break and work on ourseleves separatly. But yet he kept saying he wanted me, I wasn't losing him and that he was working on himself for me. Then he just broke up with me. And I can't help but to be confused as to why he would say all those things to me. He still says he never lied to me and he meant all of that but he needs time to himself and to work on his mental health. I guess I'm just confused how someone could mean all of that and just break up with you,
@sunshine2118
Only he knows and he might be very confused too.
Was he even right for you to begin with? This might help...
15 QUESTIONS THAT CAN PREDICT WHETHER A RELATIONSHIP WOULD LAST, ACCORDING TO PSYCHOLOGY PROFESSOR BELOW
Answering 'no' to any of the questions isn't a good sign for your relationship...
per the study in this article https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/relationships-love-last-forever-questions-test-psychology-fifteen-questions-gary-lewandowski-a8243096.html
According to Prof. Lewandowski, responding yes, honestly, to these questions, which rely on both science-backed data and intuition, means your relationship is worth staying in.
The questions are:
Does your partner make you a better person, and do you do the same for them?
Are you and your partner both comfortable with sharing feelings, relying on each other, being close, and able to avoid worrying about the other person leaving?
Do you and your partner accept each other for who you are, without trying to change each other?
When disagreements arise, do you and your partner communicate respectfully and without contempt or negativity?
Do you and your partner share decision-making, power and influence in the relationship?
Is your partner your best friend, and are you theirs?
Do you and your partner think more in terms of we and us, rather than you and I?
Would you and your partner trust each other with the passwords to social media and bank accounts?
Do you and your partner have good opinions of each other – without having an overinflated positive view?
Do your close friends, as well as your partners, think you have a great relationship that will stand the test of time?
Is your relationship free of red flags like cheating, jealousy and controlling behaviour?
Do you and your partner share the same values when it comes to politics, religion, the importance of marriage, the desire to have kids (or not) and how to parent?
Are you and your partner willing to sacrifice your own needs, desires and goals for each other (without being a doormat)?
Do you and your partner both have agreeable and emotionally stable personalities?
Are you and your partner sexually compatible?
If you answer no, the bad news is your relationship likely wont stand the test of time because just because you can find good doesnt mean it is a good relationship, according to Lewandowski.
Hope that helps you see him in a more accurate light.
@sunshine2118
Hi I'm pretty new to this but I also just got broken up with this month, pretty different situations but if you ever want to talk feel free to message me! No pressure of course. Hope the best for you!
