Going through breakup...please help me, I feel like I can't keep going.
I broke up with my boyfriend for a variety of reasons - he didn't listen, he didn't take interest in what I talked about, he was selfish, he tried to force me to hang out with his friends all the time even though I am shy and wasn't comfortable.
I regretted almost immediately though...he can't decide if he wants to be back with me since I hurt him by breaking up. Literally one night he will say he wants to sit down and talks things out and the next day he will call and say never mind. He's hurt because I broke it off right before our vacation. I didn't want to go on vacation with him and spend all kinds of money when we had been arguing and it looked so not promising for the future.
This has been going on for a few weeks....I finally blocked his number because its ridiculous. Everytime I start to get a little stronger, he calls me and I start over at square one with the pain. We were supposed to get together today to talk. Then he called and said no. Five minutes later he wants to come over tomorrow. This is why I blocked him.
I can't stop thinking about the good things...but trust me there were bad things. He made a comment about my weight before. He was criticizing how introverted I am with his friends and said he "would be watching me" during our next interaction. He wouldn't do anything for me in bed - him only. And he prefers to talk about himself only and his eyes glaze over when I talk to him.
He COULD be sweet and there are things I will miss and I feel like I"m going to die alone :( I'm so scared and hysterical right now.
I don't know if I can make it alone....
There are better people out there, even if they are hard to find.
Also he may just be hurt that he doesn't have a gf to tote around anymore.
And anyway it's actually kinda better to be alone than to be with someone who's toxic. It just may be hard to see right now
Or something
@Juliel83
This sounds like an abusive relationship.
You said that,
"I broke up with my boyfriend for a variety of reasons - he didn't listen, he didn't take interest in what I talked about, he was selfish, he tried to force me to hang out with his friends all the time even though I am shy and wasn't comfortable."
You already recognize the bad behavior of an unhealthy relationship. A healthy and happy relationship relies on compatibility. Skills such as communication, mutual trust, integrity, respect, good conflict solving skills and so on. This passage alone tells me that he does not respect you nor does he want to communicate and work out the problems that are presented.
In addition to that, you stated that,
"I can't stop thinking about the good things...but trust me there were bad things. He made a comment about my weight before. He was criticizing how introverted I am with his friends and said he "would be watching me" during our next interaction. He wouldn't do anything for me in bed - him only. And he prefers to talk about himself only and his eyes glaze over when I talk to him. "
Remember you are not being overly sensitive. Having someone who calls you degrading and hurtful names is very shitty. And having a romantic partner who does that is even worse.
Yes, its okay to be upset if your partner abuses you. And yes, it's okay to seek help and get out of this unhealthy relationship. Name calling is never okay, especially in a relationship, no matter how angry and upset you are. He has a big problem and he is using you as a venting machine. He does not treat you with respect. He does not treat you as a romantic partner. You have already acknowledged the bad parts about him and now it is time to cut him off from your life forever. The sooner you do that, the faster you will be able to move on. I recommend cutting off from your social media, phone # and anything to do with him.
His behavior is not okay. It is not healthy and you have the every right to your mind and body to be upset about it. If you find a partner who does not abuse you, you may start to ever wonder when his behavior was okay.
Best~
@SenpaiXD
Thank you for this post. I recently ended a 15 month abusive relationship.
Proud of everyone who had the courage to leave a bad relationship. you are awesome!!!
Stay strong and don't ever go back. Promise yourself to never give that person another chance and stick with it. You can make it on your own. You don't need that person and all its negativity.
Shout out to all the introverts, you rock. You don't need other people to make you happy and that is great. There is nothing to be ashamed of because you are an introvert or shy, you are still awesome. Introverts make great friends because you know when they are your friend they would actually listen, and care and not judge as much. Don't ever feel bad because you are an introvert or shy.
