Husband and his female friend.

My heart goes out to you. He is having an emotional affair at minimum if not something more. You are his wife, and you should be his priority. No respectable man puts anyone before his wife and children. Just because he may take care of you and the children in other ways, it is clear that his heart and respect is with another woman.

You deserve respect.

A real man will not leave you feeling confused or like you are less than anything.

He may try to make you feel paranoid or claim you are being overly jealous, but I am telling you that you are RIGHTFULLY upset. He's doing something wrong, and if he doesn't stop, you have to send a clear message that you won't put up with it.

I am so glad that you are thinking about leaving him because so many women get trapped into feeling as if they can't or listen to some guy's excuses. The more you condone his behavior, the worse it will get. Do you want to reinforce his cheating behavior?

You teach people how to treat you, so stand up for yourself. Take the kids and create a new life. Do not contact him for at least 2 months, and even then, only if you really need to settle custody/childcare issues. He needs to feel the loss of you and the kids.

This other woman may look like a shiny, fun alternative, but he will see in time that she will never leave her husband to be with him. Even if he begs for you to come back, please think carefully about whether or not you want someone as fickle, hurtful, and mean as him. He was extremely rude to prioritize the other woman over you. You can do better and you deserve better. Life is too short to settle for a life of confusion and misery with him.

Please feel free to message me any time.

@determinedFriend3907

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point;

So my husband has a female friend who has been his friend for years. Lately though things have felt different, I saw a message he had sent her where he was using language like "babe" and "gorgeous xxx" and I was not ok with it. (I could see why his would make you feel uncomfortable. I believe that kind of language should be used with a romantic partner, and the way he is using it on someone else it's not making you feel special and wanted by him. This will also cause you to feel suspicious about his intention when you see the language he is using with her) He had previously had an emotional affair with an ex a few years back and that was the language he used with her. (It's understandable how you feel regarding this, your fear regarding this is real and it's something that caused a lot of emotional hurt on you. The way he is behaving now is making you feel the same way like it did back ) He does not talk like that to me. (It would make you feel like he doesn't care, or that the other woman is more of a priority to him) So I confronted him and told him I was bit uncomfortable with him talking to her like a girlfriend. (You did great here by communicating how you feel) I never said I didn't want him to talk to her at all but that I was uncomfortable and I know her husband would be too with the way they talk. Well he made it clear that he would see me leave the family home before being told how to talk to "his closest friend". (He basically dismissed how you feel, disregard everything you said and then got angry. This will cause you to feel disconnected from him, and then it's going to kill safety in the relationship. It's almost impossible to have a healthy and loving marriage with him). So that's where I'm at, considering leaving. We have 2 children as well so it's really killing me that he does not care how I feel about it all. (If he dismiss how you feel, then he will do the same things to the children which it will make them feel neglected) I don't sleep or eat much these days and I have lost trust in him. (That's understandable, he was never trustworthy after he had an affair. This man tends to look for other people to meet his needs without communicating, so loyalty and commitment mean nothing to him). He now just turns his notifications off on his phone and changed his password. (This sounds very suspicious...) First time in 9 years he has had an issue with me using his phone. He uses mine whenever also

@determinedFriend3907

I think you know deep down he's cheating. If he's using the same language and he acted so defensive when you politly brough it up, means he's cheating.

@determinedFriend3907

One option you have before leaving is talking to her husband. I believe he needs to know, regardless, even if you do decide to leave. You could also try talking to your husband's friend, but if she's cool with him saying those sorts of things to her, despite both him and her being married to other people, it's probably unlikely that she'll be much help. However, it might still help to confront her about this behavior.

@determinedFriend3907,Y you should do what you feel is right for you to get your peace of mind back.When you have children in the mix,it's difficult but you should also think about giving them a good example of how people should start d up for themselves,respect themselves and act accordingly.So,in short,yoh should take steps towards regaining your self-respect and peace of mind.Also he not being OK with you using his phone e and changing his password,should be a huge red flag for you!