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Ive been with my boyfriend for three years now. We share a two year old child together and things are very iffy. Its to the point now where we hardly even speak to each other. Like we are roommates who share a child together. We have never been true friends. From the beginning its always been a really strong sexual connection between us but it stops there.
Within the past year in our relationship I caught him communicating with other women multiple times which he always said was out of boredom but now its something different. I can see that he has changed his ways as well as just becoming the man Ive always asked for.
I have tried talking to him about how I feel many times that its tiring because he always just says its me
A couple months ago I ran into an old friend (whos a man) and we have been hitting it off. A few days ago I told him I couldnt talk to him anymore because I was still in a relationship but I still wonder. I have tried to be happy with my boyfriend but it isnt working. I feel like maybe we have had so many issues in the past and now its too late. I think about leaving him all the time but feel like Im doing a disservice to him as well as our child. I have already crossed the line by communicating with another man. Should I tell my boyfriend what is going on and we go separate ways or try and work it out? Im so confused at this point.
Hello <3, Welcome to Relationship Support Space. Thank you for reaching out and sharing your thoughts with us. But, we apologize for the delay in responding to you.
As I see we are late in supporting you, can you please help us with the current status of the concerns you have and if you still would like to discuss and figure things out together with us?
We would be glad to listen and support you, if we could be of some help. I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Sending virtual hugs!
It sounds like you’re having a tough time deciphering between obligation and wanting to break up with your bf.
From what I’ve read, it sounds like you’ve been unhappy for quite some time. Since you saw your bf communicating with other women, it’s pretty clear that he’s cheating on you and his statement for “boredom and saying it’s you” sounds like he’s placing the blame on you, and that’s wrong. You did the right thing telling your male friend that you’re still in a relationship. That means you respect yourself to not have an affair.
I think you need to end the relationship since you would do yourself a favor and your child a favor by being single. I know it sounds daunting, but being single means you are happy and your child doesn’t have to grow up watching 2 parents be unhappy together. Co-parenting is the best you can do. If anything bad happens between you and your soon to be ex (if you break up), please call the police and report it to them.
You deserve to be happy and your child deserves to be happy and raised in a loving household even if you and your bf are not together. Co-parenting is the best option so the both of you can raise your child and your child has a healthy relationship with both of you. Being single helps you learn and grow as a person and raising your child in a happy environment. If you do want to date someone, please do it after you broken up with your ex and navigating raising your child as a single parent. Wait a while before dating someone new since this could be confusing to your child. Once you get the hang of coparenting and decide to date again, make sure your intuition is strong and if anything seems off with your new partner, please follow safety guidelines including alerting authorities.
I can’t tell you what to do, and it’s up to you to make the best decision. What I can tell you, is think about what’s better for you and your child moving forward. Breaking up with your bf means you will be happier and your child won’t have to grow up in a dysfunctional environment.
