Sad, divorced and never sure of my choice
Hi,
I divorced my best friend. After 1.5 years of marriage and 8 years being in a long term relationship, I left him. He was caring, kind and loved me. I was unfulfilled, sad and no longer sexually attracted at all... (not just a dip, but a total loss of all sexual desire for him, I was like a house plant.. I'd rather never have sex than have sex with him). Not based on his appearance, he's handsome. But the vibe we've transformed into is 100% companionship without passion/desire.
I am 28 years old, living alone in a foreign city without any family or close friends nearby.
I cry everytime I am not distracted with work or spending times with friends.
He would take me back in a heart beat and somedays I feel so lonely and sad that I tell myself: you made a mistake go back to him. But then i think I will eventually slump back into this weird feeling that I am unhappy and unfulfilled. It's so painful not understanding myself. I really wish he was enough for me.
I am confused about my choice and sad all the time.
@tragickitty I am so sorry you feel bad. Making choices sometimes leads to making bad ones. I can understand that more than you know. Every memory eats you up inside and makes you wonder if what you did was right. I am living in a very similar situation right now. I divorced my wife 2 1/2 years ago after 12 years of marriage. Our cat died in Janurary and I wasn't able to be there. I feel like I let them both down. I let myself down.
By the way I too am living in a foreign country.
@tragickitty Sexual connection and fulfillment is so important in a relationship. If the spark and the passion is gone, sometimes the best thing to do is to part ways, especially while you both are still young. Sometimes our earliest relationships aren't the ones that we're meant to be in forever. And it's perfectly normal to question yourself.
My boyfriend and I broke up this weekend, and a big reason for it was because of our lack of a sex life. I'm trying every day to remind myself that it was for the best. But the visceral feeling of missing him, his presence, makes it so hard. But things will get better. You CAN create a new life for yourself in a new city, even if it's painful and scary at first. Stay strong! You've got this.
