Stages after a Break-up
1. Shock: "What the hell just happened
Doprescribe yourself calming cures like meditation or long walks.
Do notfreak out. Youwillmake sense of all of this!
2.Denial: "This is so not happening."
Doopen up to a journal or trusted friend to begin unleashing fears, identifying unreasonable thoughts and more.
Do notminimize the situation. Pretending your breakup doesn't have to be dealt with will lead to emotional numbness and leave you stuck.
3.Isolation: "I just want to sit in this all by myself."
Dotake regular showers and create reasons to face the day (work, social activities).
Do notindulge in self-pity by letting irrational thoughts like "No one will ever love me again" take over.
4.Anger: "I hate you for breaking my heart!"
Dofeel, write or talk about your anger.
Do notact on it.
5.Bargaining: "What will it take to get him/her back?"
Docreate a self-love list complete with what makes you happy and things you want for your future.
Do notinclude wanting your ex back in the above list!
6.Depression: "I will never get over him."
Dosurround yourself with positive people and lots of sunshine.
Do notfall victim to unhealthy behaviors such as binge eating or drinking.
7.Acceptance: "I understand why I was with him/her, why I'm not now, and that I will be better than just OK."
Docelebrate getting through your breakup.
Do notbe surprised if you still feel moments of sadness from time to time; it's normal. Just keep on your positive path!
And adore the time spent together.
Wow my friend harrysidhu this was helpful.. :-)
Great stuff Harry. Thank you for posting.
very well thght Harry!
thanks you so much everyone.
I just wanted to share my feelings. To be honest even I went through these phases and Ididntwant anyone else to go through this.
It helped me to help a member with similar problem. Thnx :-)
My first boyfriend broke up with me, and I've been through all the stages mentioned. And the last part calmed me down. There are still times when I feel sad and betrayed, but I'm over him. Just gotta stay positive and continue to live life. Thank you
You don't always go through the stages so smoothly. Sometimes you go through each stage multiple times, sometimes you bounce from one stage to another. The important thing is that it won't last forever.
Whew. I went through all these stages and I'm not even sure if I've completely survived it yet. I still haven't figured out the reason why I was with my ex. But this is so true. The denial, isolation and depression stages were seriously the hardest stages to get through, honestly. And till now, I think that I still am in the depression stage.
WOW! very truee!! thank you so much for this :D I've been through all as well
Going through the stages right now. So far I'm mad and feeling betrayed. Like he was just using me and I'm mad at myself because I can see the signs that yes he was using me and Wtf was I thinking? I was blinded with how much I love and care for him to make him happy all the time.
I know exactly how you feel. *hugs*
Just broke up recently too. We also work together and sit very close. Its hard to get over someone you see 40 hours a week and on top of that the I am hopeful that we can sort out our issues and be together someday. Which is stupid because he told me to move on and there is no hope. I'm so mad at myself all time. I wish I could just run away.
I totally understand the way you feel. I'm dealing with the same problem right now. I quit my job just because I thought I could get him out of my mind when he is out of my sight. He told me to get over him. It is hard to hear things like that from someone you held so close to your heart. But we have to move on. You deserve to be happy. You deserve someone who loves you and respects you. So please hang in there. Please don't make any rashdecisions. Spend time with your friends. Please don't isolate yourself.Take care.
