Wanting to work things out
Hi:
I wanted to provide an update. I wrote my ex boyfriend an email and I told him that I still love him and souls like to get back together but I feel we need to work some things out first. I also told him that I was not comfortable with the way he wasn’t respecting my boundaries and that I didn’t like some of the things he was doing. Though I have not heard back yet, the ball is 100% in his court.
Would*
@Summershy,
There is no ball in his court. You sent him an email, is all.
Having said that, sending emails or texting is not the greatest way to communicate. You cannot see how to other responses. And adding what you dislike about the other only does harm, as you make it personal about him.
Next time, when you are in a relship and you want to share, sit down and invite your partner for a cup of tea. Express your feelings. No judging, no discussions. Create an atmosphere of mutual understanding. Remember, to understand doesn't,t mean u agree but don't go into disagreements, ever. Just be in the moment. You can share how u felt about a specific situation but don't relive that situation
Take care.
Well that is your opinion and we can agree to disagree.
When I sent him the email, I was as careful as possible and we just texted last night. We both agreed to take things slow and do some things differently.
What I have learned is that we both have different love languages and learning what works and what does not.
You do realize there are other points of view don’t you m?
@Summershy There are benefits and drawbacks to both face to face conversations and written communication.
When face to face, there's tone, body language, and the ability to converse.
When it's written like in an email you can carefully think of what you want to say, make changes if something feels off, it allows knee jerk reactions to have second thoughts, and the other person can reread the message to really try to understand the message and can do so after feeling less emotional.
It sounds like your email reopened communication between you two, which sounds like was one of the goals. I hope the two of you are able to continue conversing respectfully!
Hi:
We text and email all the time because it’s what we are comfortable with. We were also able to work some things out and get back together.
Hey there. Do you have a link of your post talking about what happened with the ex? I would like to know more about the situation.
Hi:
it’s in the break up post
Hey there, i just read two of your posts. He showed various red flags like you mentioned on your post from two weeks ago. It's really important to not overlook the way he kept sending you Rated R videos because it may indicate he has some kind of dependency to that kind of content. This will often make him desperate, impatient and too eager during intimacy.
You brought up great points about him not respecting your boundaries, especially when you said no and he kept insisting (This is also something that can't be overlooked either). He cant take no for answers, so he will do and say things to get you to go along with what he wants. He would need to be aware of what goes inside of him, and do tons of work on himself on order to make things work.
I understand you miss and love him, but the things that made you breakup with him will always be there. You'll have to make a choice; 1) Giving him another chance while accepting this is how he is and might not chance, or 2) Find someone better who will have the kind of qualitities you want in a partner. I hope you make a decision that best fits you.
@freshLight64
We got back together and we are taking things slow. In the mean time, we are working on communication - For example, what each person likes and dislikes. So far, it's working out great.
Last week, we had a great date night together and nor was he as pushy, this time he took things slower by using a lot of body language to ask if he could kiss me. Meanwhile, gave him permission by asking me. He also respected the fact that I said "No."
I am also learning how to put his needs first, for example, realizing that he has his own life and needs his own space. Last night, for instance, he chose to post-pone date night because he had some needs of his own.
Hi:
We were able to work things out and he promised me that he would not send me anymore of them. We are also going a lot slower too.
