Do You Usually Stay Friends With Your Exes?
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Hello everyone! I hope you are having a great day so far. Please feel free to answer the following:
*Do you usually stay friends with your exes? Why or why not?
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I'm friends with one of my ex's. We're good friends too.
@Annabanana1014 Hi there! I think that's great that you and your ex are friends. Thank you for participating in my post and I hope you are doing well today.
@PeppermintStar0912
Yes, if that is possible at that time. Being friends with an ex is definitely hard if two people ended on bad terms, but the hope is that the disagreement can be set aside and both people can move on.
@StanDaMan78 I agree with you- It would be really tough to be friends with an ex if the relationship ended on bad terms. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. Have a beautiful day!
I have tried in the past and wit many of them we usually get distance.
Technically I am friends, best friends with my ex now
However I am still madly in love with him. (We had broken up because of my depression in which I had pushed him away.)
@Rebekahwriter13 Hey there. I'm sorry to hear that you and your ex broke up but I think that's really great of the two of you to remain best friends. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me and I hope you are doing well today.
@PeppermintStar0912
I think it depends. I am friends with some and haven't seen some since the breakup. It depends entirely on what kind of relationship you had with them. If it was toxic its best to stay away.
@PeppermintStar0912
First of all, there is a reason as to why we break up and why they are called our exes. Similarly, there was a strong reason for my breakup with him. I personally do not approve of being friends after the breakup. Because I do not see any logic in it. If being together (by any means) was the only thing we wanted, we would haven't broken up in the first place. The reason why I decided to broke up with him was that I refused to meet him one day as I was supposed to be home that day, due to which we had a fight and he consulted one of his psychiatrist friends who told him that I am a characterless girl who loves playing with guys' feelings. And the worse part was that he trusted that friend of his without understanding my situation. He basically trusted him more than he should have trusted me. Trust forms the base of any relationship. When there is no trust, the relationship cannot survive for a longer period of time. Sooner or later, it is bound to be broken. He not only trusted that third person but shamelessly let me know about it. I tried reaching out to him by calling and texting him umpteen times. Also, I asked him to meet me soon after it was possible for me to meet him but he didn't reply to anything. He kept ignoring my messages and calls for many days. I didn't want to regret anything. Therefore when he was angry, I remained calm to save our relationship. I gave my 100% but it didn't work. Mentally, I left him the day he trusted some random guy and called me a playgirl. After all, it was about my self-respect that has always been my topmost priority. When you hear people giving examples of you whilst talking about good character and conduct, it becomes impossible to withstand being called characterless. It has been more than 10 years to this incident & till today, he tried to get back with me by asking me to be friends with him/starting afresh/meeting, etc. He recently harassed me by asking for closure. He recently stalked me until he found my fathers' number & tried to scare me by telling me that he would call my father to tell me to give him closure. Can you believe it? Since the day we broke up, he has been harassing me. Even after blocking his number he tried contacting me through his parents, sibling numbers in the past. He kept begging to unblock him and when I did he again started asking me to get back with him. And when I blocked him again, he contacted my Lil brother and Lil sister asking about me and whether I have completed my studies. He kept in touch with my brother. They both were unaware of what went wrong & kept responding to him nicely. He used to tell my brother to ask me to talk to him. I told my brother everything as a result my brother scolded him and asked him to stay away from me. With stalking and finding my fathers' number, he forced me to tell my parents about him. I really pray that he doesn't harass me anymore. The thing is, when I leave someone it is forever & I do not believe in getting back with them in any way. Because I put a lot into any relationship from day one till the end.
Most of them, no. One of my exes I've had to really give myself distance from, but I keep finding myself talking to him every now and then, and wanting to be friends now that we have separate lives. He inspired me in a lot of ways and I often wish we'd never dated because I miss that creative connection.
@PeppermintStar0912
I have never had a significant other but I have had flings with people who I thought were interested in my when they really were not. In terms of friends, it depends of how close we are in the beginning.
However, I would love a significant other
@PeppermintSt
The answer totally depends on how the breakup happened. that is, for what reasons. If the breakup happened for good, they exes can remain friends. Personally, i have been friends with my exes but not all of them. So, it's totally fine even if they are not friends. Everyone has their own way of dealing with situations and people. We should just respect their decision and move on. That's life.
Well recently I broke up with my first ever girlfriend and I don't know if I want to be friends with her or not. I'm still in love with her so it hurts like hell to talk with her. But she seemed really upset when I wanted to stop talking with her forever and I couldn't handle seeing her that sad so I had to stay friends with her. So now I have to go through the same pain everyday just so I don't make her sad.
@Bingo222 There isn't quite a straightforward answer to this. It depends on factors like, the kind of relationship you had while you were together, the manner in which you broke up, whether or not either one of or both of you still harbour feelings etc.
All I can say is that, breakups leave emotional damage, and just like any other wound, can only be healed with time and care. That is, if your intention is to recover from this wound, or to still be reminded of the feelings that once came before this wound.
From how I've interpreted your message it seems neither you nor your ex felt like ending things but had to for some external reason(?). I've been in such a situation before, and the only thing that helped me move on was first, gradually lessening contact while letting out all that lonely, upsetting and obsessive energy in any way i can (ofc not destructively). Talking to people I trust really helped, as well as writing and finding a new hobby.
Then, I tried to cut contact for a period of time until i knew for sure that my insides would no longer melt like butter on hearing his voice. This, in my opinion, will be emotionally healthier for you and your ex, if you intend to stay as exes(?). At least, that's how I slowly built a platonic, distant yet trusting friendship with my ex now. We've agreed that we'll still be there for each other if needed, but that there's no need to send anything more than a birthday greeting now.
@notthere Thanks for the suggestion. And yeah you are correct we both didn't wanna end things but we did. We already stopped talking and I do read to cope. Thanks for your suggestions
@Bingo222 It's always good to surround yourself with people that will make you feel less lonely and to keep you grounded. But it's also necessary to put everything aside and pour out all the leftovers feelings you have, or else burying them will only give way for them to resurface later on. Best of luck
