How to avoid getting anxiety about her

Hey, so my girlfriend and I have been official for about a month but dating since the beginning of July. At first it was as you would expect. She was always trying to talk to me and sounded excited to do so…here recently, she just texts me as she can and it’s always very short usually. Mind you, she has always been a shorter texter which is fine, but I feel like the dynamic is off. We both struggle with anxiety and I think I am letting mine get the better of me.

she every time she texts me reassures me that she loves me and that is gratifying. However, she brought up to me tonight that I get “upset” when she doesn’t respond back to me. Now typically, I don’t get bothered by it and am just being silly when I say it…however, I feel like she thinks I’m overthinking and being overwhelming. I can say she has been right to some degree. I find myself getting anxious when she doesn’t respond and I feel like I’ve gotten too attached.

Alongside that we had not an argument, but I brought up to her I was looking for a text chain between us in her phone (she doesn’t care if I’m on it), but I found something I did not like at all that she told me did not happen with another dude that works with her who I am uncertain about…however, she told her friends it did. It was over a year ago well before we started dating, so I don’t care regardless. I just felt upset that she couldn’t tell me the truth. So me being me felt like I needed to tell her what I saw and that I was not personally looking for anything bad, but it bugged me! And if she did it was okay and I still love her. I just wanted to know why she felt like she count trust me enough to tell me. She swears up and down to me nothing happened, but she said it was easier to tell her friends it did versus going into all the details about it. (All of this happened Monday night so 2-3 days ago).

i owned up to my mistake by clicking on the message which again was not what I was looking for. I explained very thoroughly what it was that I was doing and how I ended up there. She was upset and was like “I never expected you of all people to do something like this, cries and said she is more disappointed than mad” and that that I somewhat broke her trust and made her double take for a second. However, she told me she loves me and that it was okay and she appreciated me telling her. As well as she saying that it I didn’t betray her in any means, she just felt jaded a little bit. She also said she’s fully aware of my intentions and that I wasn’t looking for anything specific to try and catch her in a lie. She told me she was fully transparent with me and again she only told her friends that because it was easier to say that than what actually happened. I believe her, but I am concerned and now in my headspace about it.

i gave her space and she texted and called me and reassured me we were okay and she just needed to process it. But that she was very appreciative that I told her versus hiding it and letting it build up…however, she was short the next morning over text, then called me to tell me she got in her head about it and she was a little upset. In which I responded I’m glad she told me and we had the talk again just to clarify everything and make sure we understood where we were both coming from. She again swears up and down nothing more than what she told me happened and I was vulnerable and let her open up to me. I told her I wouldn’t have cared regardless if she did. And she told me about an ex who used to snoop and accuse her of stuff that didn’t happen and that’s why she was feeling weird about it.

fast forward, I saw her 2 times later in that same day and we agreed to stop being weird with each other and that we wanted to move past it. The afternoon seemed fine but she seemed a little distant. And at night she FaceTimes me for a while usually just so we can talk. And she did talk but it was a much shorter convo than usual. She said she’d text me but never did. I take it she fell asleep bc as did I, but now I’m up again and writing this. I feel like I’m overthinking like hell.

update: as typing she said she fell asleep, but we knew that haha

so my biggest questions are:

1) how do I stop getting anxiety when she doesn’t respond immediately or is short when I’m not being short?

2) what can I do to avoid her getting bored of me? (I always feel like I’m too nice and just there when she needs it and respond immediately always). I am not wanting her to push herself away from me nor the relationship to become complacent.

I am choosing to trust her because she’s been very honest with me about everything else. Even when it’s not into full detail, she knows that I’m understanding as to where it headed. I just am struggling to understand why she would tell others she did if she did not.

please help