I feel like my boyfriend is constantly criticizing me
(Sorry this is long, I got ahead of myself)
My partner and I have been dating for over 2 years now. We've both been very happy and have been enjoying our time as a couple instead of just friends.
However, in the past few months, I've realized that I always feel inferior after talking with them. I realized that whenever we are talking about theatre (which we are both involved in, I do the backstage side and they do more of the actor side) they try to undermine me whenever I'm talking. They dabbled in the backstage area, so they know general things, but no matter what we are talking about, they act as if they are the only person who is knowledgeable at all about the backstage crew, even though I'm right next to them. I got a job at the theatre, and they have to tell me that they were offered that position a year before I got the job.
And it's not just theatre either. It feels like no matter what we discuss, whether it's science, history, or rumors they will try their hardest to correct me. Even if I'm working on an art or writing piece, it seems like they can point out a million things I'm doing wrong, all the while making no effort to actually help me.
I've spoken with mutual friends of ours about this, and they've agreed that my boyfriend tends to do this often. I've considered ending it, but I feel awful for potentially throwing away a perfectly good relationship for just one small problem. I haven't brought this up to him yet, I'm afraid that it might just cause more problems. What should I do?
TLDR: I constantly feel like my boyfriend of 2 years is constantly criticizing me and not listening to me. This has gone on for a couple of months, and I'm not sure what to do at this point. What should I do?
@Aceofspades15
If you and he are stuck in a vicious cycle
then maybe learn about
the Drama Triangle Solutions.
It might apply to your situation.
It applies to many situations in life with people.
Especially where someone is causing conflict.
Watch the video here and you'll understand easily:
https://www.7cups.com/path/exercise/the-drama-triangle-1675267874/
@Aceofspades15
It is a cycle and i have been there ... my spouse while he toned it down still tends to tell me things about items i am way more knowledgeable about.........
I used to get very angry and upset but then i noticed he is insecure in many ways and the made him feel superior to tell me something i already knew.... we have spoke about it and he admitted it has happened ........but sometimes it still happens .........
The back and forth is exhausting.
@toughTiger6481
Thank you for posting this! I know my partner is insecure about some things, and sometimes struggles with noticing social cues (like him constantly talking over me) but I don't know if I can keep this up if the cycle is so exhausting. I might confront him about it later.
I know exactly how it feels and it gets frustrating after a while.. I have also tried to explain him that I don’t need any fixing. However, he keeps fixing me or things I say.
after a point i have stoped talking about anything that I know he will fix and now I don’t even have anything to talk to him anymore…
I want to let go of this relationship as it is holding me back from doing the things I want to do in life but I don’t know what to do or how to face it
@aquaChestnut3262
Thank you for posting this! I completely get where you're coming from, I feel like I'm stuck in the same boat. I've been close friends with my boyfriend before we started dating, so I would feel awful if we stopped talking. Not only losing a relationship but also a friendship would be so difficult. Stay strong, you will get through this!
