My boyfriend has a pattern of repeating mistakes
I have been with my bf for three years. Since the beginning of our relationship we promised to not drink or do drugs. This is because we both noticed that when my bf would be under the influence he would be rude and treat me poorly. I just left my home with him to go visit my family and I found out that he had taken drugs. He told me that he was depressed and that it was to help him calm down. He has a pattern of making a mistake, promising to do better, being better for a few months, and then repeating the mistake again. I am feeling so disappointed and defeated because this pattern happens very often and it hurts because I try to be understanding and make things work but it feels like he picks and chooses when he wants to be a good partner.
@calmDrum7469 your disappointment is understandable and valid. You're hoping the best for you and him and make the relationship works well.
There can be a lot of anxiety in the journey to overcome the dependency on addictive stuff hence the recurring relapse.
Perhaps you may want to ask some people who understand better about the topic to be able to support him. Here is list of listeners who are taking addiction topic and this is list of leaders in Addiction Support sub-community
Hope you'll find more options to help him and best wishes for your relationship 💙
@calmDrum7469
It is hard to be supportive but lets not kid ourselves a mistake is not meaning to do it ...... doing it even after you promised not to is a choice not a mistake.
he needs to get a handle on his substance use and sooner then later and you need to support that but in the end people need to stop doing something for them not just for their partner.
I was seeing someone like this and I had no idea he had a disorder. I don't know why I just didn't connect the dots until later. I really feel your pain because it's not your responsibilty to fix him, and you don't have to be with someone like that if you don't want to.
I don't want to be with someone who says he doesn't have a problem when he really does, and acts like a spoiled brat when he doesn't get his way.
