A Passage to Her

Daisies, that's the flower that reminded me of you, I'm sure you remember when I told you that. It's because you were so pure, so bright, and your smile reminded me of the flower, remember? 

Two weeks, 3 days , 20 hours, 54 mins, 45 seconds ago you left me.... It was our second chance to put back our 2 years back together.... Why would you leave when I was doing my best. Distance cannot be the reason alone, emotional attraction fell right? Or did you finally see the flaws in my face? Ah! I always told you so, why did you tell me I look perfect in your eyes and why did you even say that if I could see myself through your eyes I would fall a thousand times more, why? Was that all a lie?.... Ik I often acted childish when I was with you but I felt like I could act like one when I was with you because you made me secure, you made me feel as though I didn't have to take on any responsibility and act mature for you...why did you build me a(metaphorical) home when in the end you were just going to leave it... You're now (literally) 2000 miles away from me and ik you have a dream to achieve there. But it's so unfair how you are in a new city and I'm stuck here. Home where we visited every corner, walked every path, remember how we explored all the coffee shops here? Well now tell me where am I supposed to go that won't have a memory of you, of us?.... 

Gosh ik I'm supposed to be moving forward... There are plenty of fish in the sea I could get any... But everyone knows we only felt attached to our goldfish at home... I want to cry an ocean so that I could just swim back to you... I want the wave to carry me to you, maybe the tide will push you closer to me and maybe stormy sea would ravage the land that separated us. That's how much I want to be with you. Don't you see how much I love you.

I'm so sorry I took you for granted when I had you, I'm only human after all. But don't you think this is enough punishment for me. I've learned my lesson and I promise to eat a thousand needles, have my pinky toe hit a thousand time if I take you for granted again. I've learned my lesson I promise.

I've had a fair share of exes I remember each by their names but for you I remember you when I think about myself... I've poured my soul unto you... I've never being this sure about someone... Ik i love you because ik i dont want you to come back out of pity but because you want to i value your emotions and I respect you... 

Am I allowed to be mad? Why do these emotions comes in wave? Why am I still holding on knowing full well our journey together won't be easy wouldn't I want your life to be easier? I have so many questions and I guess you could answer some and I hope someone does... Because I'm drowning in despair rn... Only if you could feel what I'm feeling right now and you would see how much more I loved you... 

The daisies are blooming again but I'm waiting for them to wither. 

Guys I'm sorry for the long passage I just wanted to let my feelings out and maybe let people hear it...