Am I wrong to expect this?
Okay first of all I am a heterosexual male. & yes i get those momentary tempting feelings too, looking at beautiful women on the internet but i resist them.. entirely.. knowing someday i m gonna have a loving wife who is gonna love me and she'll feel very uncomfortable to see me as a loose charactergetting attracted to every next girl on the internet. I don't have many female friends. the ones i do, i m very clear in terms of my relationship with them.
I don't come from a western society where people openly have different sexual partners at different times of their life, physical sanctity of my own as well as my future partner would matter to me a lot. so much so i m never ever gonna run into any prostit**es either, so that when i finally marry the person of my dreams i can gift her my pious self. And i expect the very same from my future wife too.. if i being a man ,go against the orthodox way, can resist these satanic sexual temptations.. why can't she? and why should i be allowing myself to marry such a person who doesn't match my moral values?
I m not like asking too much from her without sacrificing as much myself too.. it's purely practicing what i m preaching.. and more than anything else it's my personal preference.. coz i m not offering my future wife, a dude who has licked a 100 girls' c lit.. i m offering her a person who has (ever since met her) only and only fantasized about her and got physically involved with.. it may be a pretty huge standards i m setting.. but i m myself living upto them too..
PLEASE TELL ME HOW ON EARTH CAN THIS OPINION OF MINE BE TERMED MISOGYNISTIC???
Moreover if I get into a relationship too, i m not forcing my girlfriend into physical relationship either.. and if i do istg i m gonna marry her no matter what (unless obviously she goes against it and loses interest in me due to some reason or other) i personally believe of all the people who feel like they deserve a virgin partner.. people like me who follow the standards they set for others deserve them more than anyone else..
but a simple expression of this opinion makes people cry out that i m a narrow minded or misogynistic person.. why? just why?
@adventurousAcres6726
I hear what you're saying and I understand that you're trying to avoid offending anyone. To answer your question about why your expression of opinions might come across as narrow minded/misogynistic, the following few of your phrases -
"if i being a man" - implied superiority over all women
"sacrificing as much" - demands it even if it is a sacrifice instead of a choice, simply because you made the choice to sacrifice
"i m not forcing my girlfriend" - Really needs no explanation for why this phrase stands out. Forcing?
"deserve a virgin partner.. people like me who follow the standards they set"- implies that virginity somehow sets a person apart from others who may have faced breakups or heartache along the way. It sets virginity up to "standard" as a yardstick of judgement of character regardless of circumstances or choices.
@adventurousAcres6726
It is not regardless of where you are from ...... some people label things to try to push you into changing your stance....... don't....... those who label are intolerant of ideas they cannot embrace.
There is nothing wrong with saving yourself for marriage and wanting the same in a spouse....
@adventurousAcres6726
It’s good to have principles. In your own relationship, you decide what qualities you want in your partner, so that you can find someone that shares your values and beliefs and there will be more harmony in the relationship. If you decide you only want to marry a virgin, then that’s entirely for you to decide. If you want a woman that is religious, that’s good - then you won’t argue and have differences over religion. Anything that brings harmony and love and kindness and improves your life and that of your future partner - no one should try to judge you or lessen your happiness.
But also we should not judge others for their lifestyle choices, even if they are different to ours. Even if we think they are sinful, or if we ourselves would never engage in similar behavior - it only darkens our heart and detracts from the goodness of our moral character if we disrespect other human beings. We can disagree with people without harboring hateful, harmful, attitudes towards them.
No one among us is perfect. And God does not turn away from sinners. God does not only love the holy and the righteous. If you have only contempt for those who do not share your beliefs then you also in doing so have turned away from God’s teachings.
I hope you find the partner you seek. Live and love with courage and stand by your principles in all things. All the best to you in your journey!
CatsInTheCradle
@adventurousAcres6726 it's ok to look for a partner that has your same values, and to hold yourself on those same values, not demanding her things you won't do yourself. The reason why some people will tell you your view are misogynistic is that, whatever you do or do not want from your partner, it doesn't mean you can judge other people based on their different views and lifestyles. People are not bad or shallow because of how much sex they have, they just give sex a different meaning than you do. To each their own.
Long story short: it's ok to want a virgin partner and value virginity. As long as you don't regard anyone who doesn't share this value as somehow a bad person. They're just not the right person for you.
