Giving love....
Ive come across so many men and women... who are feeling hurt because they gave so much love to their partners but felt left depleted .... because it wasnt appreciated/ valued or returned in a way they expected.... and it even takes the form of intense anger/ hate towards their exes and even against the entire gender and then towards themselves.... (the various stages of emotional management one often goes through before arriving at peace).....
But... I feel like .... love should never be something you regret giving.... because giving love is about fulfilling yourself (the soul) ....
Sure you could make changes in your approach in your next relationships how to draw better boundaries, how to trust better, how to love differently... there has to be some evolution within yourself based on your experiences of course.....
But.... theres so much beauty in what you left of yourself with others..... dont regret that.... if you want to be true to loving yourself ....
If your heart is full of regrets for what you did, it is understandable, but I hope we all put out of that feeling because there is so much grace you're missing out on... of having given love.... theres nothing that makes you so honorable than that... feel your goodness...... dont regret it because you didnt get your rewards.....because in my opinion, giving love is a reward in itself........❤️
What do you feel? 🙂
Creamyyy 💛✨️
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@Creamyyy
My reflection on it goes: there are at least two kinds of feeling lonely and missing love.
One of them is like being afraid of starvation due to the fact we are not under the nourishing influence of love from somebody else, lacking their care or attention. It resembles hunger.
The other is like being unable to give love. You can react to a clumsy puppy on the street, cheer back to a toddler in a stroller who smiles at you, fleet a charming glance to an attractive stranger on the street, or even love a curious jackdaw who sat on your balcony to visit you.
Still, you feel like you needed to give it to someone special. And when such a person is impossible to find, or... has passed away, it is a kind of frustration, grief, confusion or anger. It's like being unnoticed and ignored, even if we do not come empty-handed.
I believe those two kinds of love are usually intertwined, also depending on the culture we grew in, our family status and age...
Yes - I understand the need to be seen/ noticed. Its not to show off- but to be known to each other for who you are.
I really feel you should edit your diaries and publish .... it'll be a gift for your kids to know how deep and wonderful their father is.. Itll be a token for the woman you loved and lost ... maybe she will read it when you meet her in heaven (cant recall if you believe in it or not)... but regardless it will complete the love you couldnt complete in this life.... It will be a treat to everyone who have an affinity to words and feelings of others including myself .... ❤️
I hope you dont find my ideas pushy. I just feel like seeing something like that happen for you.
@jacek73
@Creamyyy
Thank you for your kind words 💜
I believe in afterlife, but not in heaven—for me white official clothes, bland acoustic music and white prayer books with golden covers would make just the opposite 😉
As for my diaries, I've got some ideas, but I don't think that anybody would like to read my story.
When I was between 20 and 30, I wrote some poems. I had read some of them to my beloved one just a few days before she passed away. She asked me if I had ever shown them to anyone. "No, only to you", was my answer...
Well ... I enjoy reading what you have to say. You help others notice the subtlety of things. Your vocab is phenomenal.
I feel like every being is powerful enough to leave some kind of impact on the world.... your story is worthy. Your feelings matter.
@jacek73
@Creamyyy
You have a way with words
I feel when breakups or heart break occurs, in that moment, I’m angry-sad-hurt and that’s when my negative stances occur.
When I give someone love, I give it to my best. I want that person to know how much I deeply care for them. For them to feel appreciated and desired. I think knowing each others love languages is a helpful start. And knowing my own.
I am one that is grateful though of the love I’ve had (despite not always believing it) something good has come from each individual. In its own way. A way to see what was I missing? What they teach me? and what do I want in a future partner?
I do believe that I have left previous partners great memories and learning experiences as well. Thank you for pointing that out 💛
@Creamyyy
Love can be exciting.
Scary .
Messy.
But it always is worth it.
It can be hard but it will always teach us something and life is too short to not have an open heart ♥️
True 🙂
@Amanda84
I completely agree. I will add an extra nuance.
Obviously, what I’m about to say is a simplification, but it applies to many cases. Giving something and expecting it in return is a bad habit. Each person does what they can, when they want, and in the way they can or want. No one is obligated to match or surpass the love you give them. And getting angry about it is like getting angry when you give a gift and don’t receive one in return—it’s manipulation. At the end of the day, of course, relationships are complex and require awareness and evaluation: realizing that a relationship is not sufficient for you or for what you are truly seeking, or maybe evaluate if you receiving what you actually deserve, but in a toxic relationship is really difficult. It depends on one’s own awareness. So, in the end, anger stems either from projection because they hate them self or because of their blinddness at the moment... or from narcissism. The solution is to reflect on what it is that you truly desire and what you really deserve as a person capable of giving such love.
Idk what you think.
Obviously, I'm not saying there shouldn't be some reciprocity. But I think it's implicit. I forgot to specify it.
@Franse absolutely ... 💯 agree with what you're saying.
