I can't let her go, lost my motivation
no matter how much I try I just can't let go, 4 years and everything, her being with someone else, cheated on me, I was so faithful for her, cared for her, loved her, did everything for her, but cheating while with me is fcuking hard to swallow. For 3 months and then left out of nowhere, no closure, no nothing, she didn't even said what was wrong with me, she just packed up and left.
I don't know what to do, i thought she was the one, I wanted to marry her, wanted to give her everything but she just left for a different guy such a shallow way to decide 4 years of sh*t, shove it in garbage.
I was so good in everything, topper of class, academically excellent, was on the path to my research career, and now it's just like..... ?
where , what am I, i can't focus on anything, everytime it's just this thing about the unfaithful, the her being with someone else, sharing what I had with someone else, sleeping with someone else, i just can't think straight, forget about my research career!!
i know I'm just emotionally driven right now so I'm not thinking straight, obviously I want to pursue my research, and career it's just i don't have any motivation to do anything really.
I just sit at my home and sleep and do nothing, and I'm never been this guy who I am right now, so it's even more hard to even accept. I was committed, she wasn't that's all. But I never loved a women so much than her, I don't know when and where would I find someone else. I'm not in a hurry , and I'm not trying to do this to replace her , to replace the pain it's just I don't know. it *** hurts.
im just numbed, all day, doing nothing, just lying on bed, doing nothing, I have loads of work to do and I know that ,but deliberately ignore it, because I just can't , just can't do it. That *** my mind even more, I have taken too much leave on the job, even thought of considering to leave the job and totally focus on going to mba or research, can't decide, just sit at home , do nothing, haven't showered for 2 days, I'm wreck, i can't do anything.
Can anyone help please , i can't let her go? im angry and why the *** I'm still hoping??
Hoping of what exactly, and that hurts even more cause I'm still asking something from someone that I won't get .
Hey it happened with me and this incident completely changed me.
I felt what you are feeling right now. If you can't swallow spit it out. Don't wait for right time to come and keep waiting for one. Cheating is not mistake they know what the *** the do. Just move one and become best version so they have to regret of losing you.
It's so *** angry like how can she just leave me like that, no nothing, i was committed to her, and what she did was to throw it all away, I want to fu**ing hit her, real bad honestly, so *** tired of how she used and threw me like i was nothing, and i don't know , I don't know i can't I'm really angry, how did you cope up with it?
I can understand that. I feel same but your strongest weapon is your silence and your growth. It's mirror for them what they really lost.
@decisiveWheel1659
There is nothing wrong with you. if things change for her, it is NOT a reflection on you.
In almost every breakup post here people speak about how good things were and or how long it has been. My thought is we do NOT really know how our partner feels deep down. many people who stray in any way emotional or physical cheating are looking for something they did not have in relationship.
I know it hurts and feels awful but maybe it is for the best and you can move on in life and find something better. letting things go like job or education is only hurting you it will not bring her back and now that you know what she is capable of, how could you trust her. it will not go back to what you thought you had too much has happened. embrace your life and realized she is a chapter that is over.
Disclaimer I'm dictating this.
There's nothing wrong with you. Some people just don't know what to do with a good thing with a good person. They're so used to being ill treated that when they find somebody who treats them really well he doesn't feel nice. Now I don't know why she left but if you are doing everything in your power to make her happy and she leaves, then it's how loss. I would strongly encourage you to put yourself out there. You cannot put your life on hold for somebody who's living theirs. This person has showed you that they have not regard for you and that doesn't mean that might not change but it also doesn't mean they will come back. Time is always going to be a wheel 🛞 in constant motion meaning the time that passes us by will never come back. All you have is here now to make the best of if.
I hope that helps Just take one step at a time.