My bf has been cheating online 2 yrs now actively meeting up with ppl
Im still in love with him how do i leave? Do i have to wait until i hate him? Wait until i respect myself? I know i need to but i physically cant he is the only person i have in my life and the only relationship i have ever been in. I am 21f any advice would be huge because i cant leave i dont have the strength to i am such a broken down peice of who i used to be and i have cut everyone else off besides him. I feel the most alone i have ever felt in my entire life and the only person i have is the one who is actively destroying me
@Catluver03
I think when we find ourselves in a place like you describe.. we know what we should do but are afraid to take that action. You can not wait for things to change... what for our feelings to be crushed more. IMO too many stay with their first real partner / relationship. Maybe they want to believe they found the one ..or they were wrong about this person. we may still love someone that has hurts us over and over... love and hate are NOT opposites they run parallel .......... The opposite of love is indifference and feeling nothing.
1 start to establish friends and contacts... did he want you to cut ties with old friends... ask yourself why.? it keeps you hostage if he is all you know.
2. know you are worth more then what you are getting from this relationship. LOVE you first. show him you are worth more and he can no longer afford to discount your worth.
3. sometimes leaving takes time ... i fully support panning out all you can maybe save up a bit of money if possible decide what you brought into relationship and what you are taking with you.
@toughtiger6481 i had a best friend i was inseparable from when i met him.. he didnt like her (she didnt like him and was vocal about it,he knew) so i cut her off. I reconnected with her this past week and she is moving to texas (we’re from new england USA) so it is an extremely significant distance. I am back in therapy weekly. She is telling me to leave him but i am fully devoted to him and after everything i am still in love with him i am not wanting to leave as he is all i have. She doesn't like the idea but is still supportive of my decision. We have lived together 2 years and i left my high paying job due to creeps i worked with and i have been at a new job a year now but with the rising prices i could not afford rent on my own in our area (1700/mo for 400sq ft studio). I have been trying to work on loving myself but comparing myself to the people he cheats on me with, i look nothing like them and he has recently been wanting me to lose weight and i am at the point i hate almost everything about myself.
We have 2 cats i have adopted while we are together and i will not be able to live with myself if i leave him as he pays half the rent and i end up having no place for myself and them, one has health issues on a strict expensive veterinary diet.
@Catluver03
i was cheated on a long time ago ... i stayed ... i felt same it was me ... but i was not seeing the whole thing. Cheating of any sort is not about looks...not just my opinion......... but many physiological studies. I am not sure if person can explain it to. it is not a one size fits all situation.
This link is 9 common traits of cheaters. Maybe if you look up possible issues it helps your ability to see things differently.
https://parade.com/living/common-traits-of-people-who-cheat-according-to-psychologist
Im sorry you are in the situation that you are in and feel the way you do about it all. Im in a VERY similar situation. Not exactly because of certain factors but the hurt and confusion is the same for sure. If you would like to talk about it, maybe we can relate and help eachother figure things out in our own lives. Again, im sorry that you are going through this but just know that you are most definitely not doing it alone!
