My bf won’t stop watching thirst traps
I will be with my boyfriend for 2 years in August. Throughout our relationship I have checked his phone and have caught him looking at girls on ***/***/***. I’ve told him that I am not comfortable with that and that I find it disrespectful and have told him to stop each time. He says that they’re not “real” because it’s online or that it’s the same as being at the beach (he couldn’t even explain the comparison) I’ve become very insecure when I’m around him because all I can think about is the girls he looks at and how they have unrealistic body’s (surgery). I feel uncomfortable being intimate with him now. 2 weeks ago, I caught it again and he told me his friends had been sending him the videos and then he deleted the messages (I found links in his private browser) as well as an Only Fans page and sex worker accounts on his fb. When I confronted him, he became annoyed and defensive and said he wanted to break up, I broke down and cried for a long time. He ended up making it about him and how I don’t treat him good (he said I don’t pay for anything or plan things or open his door). After I validated his feelings, he asked me to forgive him and asked me to be his gf again. I said yes because I have nowhere to go. We just moved in together in February. I am part time working and full time college student. He pays the rent and groceries and I pay the bills. Currently, he is working out of town and is only home on the weekends so I don’t see him much at the moment. I don’t have the money to leave but it’s a constant emotional and mental battle staying. I love him so so much but I do not want to be with a lustful man.
I just don’t know how to act around him right now. I’m saving up money and looking for another job to leave but in the meantime I just feel so weird acting like everything is okay or I feel guilty when we’re having a good time
From a man's perspective. This man clearly doesn't appreciate what's in front of him. The whole part of being exclusive with someone should already shut down the wondering eyes, and seeking lustful actions from another person or from what you say online thirst traps. If this problem of his keeps popping up on his phone and he's not willing to see your problem with it or change he's act. The relationship is pretty much over do to lack of respect for your feelings about it. If the question about break up ever pops up in a relationship, it's a clear sign of what the future may become. The question you have to ask yourself now is how much longer are you going to suffer through this relationship. Take this as a lesson for your next relationship too. The saying there's plenty of fish in the sea is a correct statement but never settle for less. Everyone deserves to be comfortable and in a safe place with there significant other.