My partner has done it again...
So my partner and I just went through something small, a disagreement about communication, but now it has led to the point where we are not talking to each other even though we live under the same roof.
in previous disagreements, when we finally get on the same page we discuss what we could of done or what we could have done better. And over and over again we have both AGREED that it is not okay to go the night without discussing the issue.
But here I am alone. While they isolate themselves after I've specifically stated that it is not okay for them to do that. But they choose to do it anyway...I don't know what to do because honestly that really tore at me. And I am very hurt because of it. Instead of us talking it out peacefully and quickly, they are dragging it out. Which then makes it worse.
and on top of that, I am going through a mental breakdown where I don't know what I am doing with my life or what my purpose for living is.
I don't know what to do, I'm here to vent out my feelings because I barely have a safe space to let it out. It at times like these where I wish I had more close friends.
@drmthwsn
Hi there, sorry to hear how you’re feeling. It sounds like your partner takes himself off to calm down, but of course that has left you feeling abandoned. Hopefully once your both back on speaking terms, you can calmly talk about how this argument and him walking, has left you feeling. Is this something he’s done before?
Heyy… i can relate to you… im stuck in a very similar situation… i just don’t know what to do and feel alone…
@drmthwsn
There are two paths working on it when fresh or calming down taking a break. Both can have merits but since you specifically stated isolation was not okay he will push the limits by doing it.
The reality is so many talk and talk but in the end do not make progress.talk and communication is not the same. if you are not making progress and repeating the same type of arguments/ disagreements. perhaps it is time to get a counselor or third party to help.
I've actually been there myself - what had been happening was that my s/o didn't know how to communicate that it would become overwhelming and they would shut down. It wasn't their fault but they also weren't regulating their emotions in order to talk things out.
It could be that maybe they don't know what to say or how to do that, it's one thing to tell your partner that what they're doing is hurtful because of what you need but they also need to be communicating or just trying to let you in as to why it happens. You can't really work together if you don't understand each other including why things happen, how to work through things both individually and together and you also can't promise that big arguments like this won't happen again.
If someone is still learning and trying to be better- and trying to regulate their emotions by shutting down it's important both of you learn how to do that in your own ways before coming together and talking about what the real issue is and how to move forward with each other not against.
