My partner made the relationship poly
Last night he called me and asked me if how I feel about poly relationships. The first thing I said is "what is poly" i don't really understand what a poly relationship is ive never even knew what they really are. He asked me if a poly relationship is okay and I mean I dont really understand what was going on but I just said yeah sure I guess. Then he says he found someone that love both of us and im like "okay he is just going to tell me to avoid this person" but then he says that he is dating this person and is making the relationship poly. I dont really understand what is going on. Ive asked other people and they say I should leave. I dont know what to do. We have been together for almost 2 years.
@guff05
One party in the relationship cannot make the sole decision to open the relationship, that is just your partner trying to excuse cheating on you. Are you okay in this situation where your partner is also with another woman?
It almost doesn't feel real. I dont know what to do.
@guff05
I get how it doesn't feel real. The reality is that he made a decision without you concerning the relationship. He decided that he is going to have his cake and eat the cake. He has two girlfriends now. Are you okay sharing him?
I dont know. I dont think I like it. Ive given him everything and he has tooken so much from me. Just for him to find someone else
@guff05
That is horrible, it sounds like he has used you. I get that you don't like it. This is just another way of him using you. You deserve someone who is satisfied with just you and doesn't need anyone else.
@guff05 I am actually in a poly relationship myself. It has a complicated history, but I have been stuck in it for almost a decade. I do not want to say whether it is purely good or bad, because I know very well it is sometimes extremely difficult to label if we are being honest.
With that in mind, do not let anyone tell you what to do with your relationship. Break up only if you think you can/should, or stay only if you want to. People tell me to break up all the time, but they don't understand how dismissive that advice is.
It sounds like your partner either did not understand that you were confused, or they were trying to be sneaky. Maybe it is worth considering talking to him about it?
@guff05
you did not go in to it knowing what it involved shame on him for making this decision without you. For some people they say they like the arrangement but most of what I see is drama and people going along thinking it is only way to save what you had.
the choice is up to you, but I would suggest make it before him and the extra make it for you.
He is making me talk to the other guy
@guff05 If you don't want to talk to him, you don't have to. 😟
I can't believe it's real he is actually dating someone else.