......
I was in a relationship since last 8 years but there have been several times when he's never tried understanding what situation I was in but yet I've kept my love above all and tried my best from my side......
But last Saturday, something really bad happened....I've always and always tried whatever I could for him but he started ghosting me and my cousin sister (who is really close to me and him as well) tried talking to hiim about me and he said I was never really there for him and there's nothing left to talk......
Even till then I had always been trying to keep myself in his shoes and think from his side before reacting in front of him but this week made me realize he's never going to understand what's going in my side even when I've always given my everything to him.
I actually have social anxiety too( that I got due to my family ) and have a really hard time seeing/meeting new people and making friends so I dont really have "friends" friends.....I get attached too easily but people just come randomly make me attached and leave and all I had was him ......But now I feel like I myself need to back off else I'll really end of losing even the small part of me that I have within myself.
I do love him a lott and always want the best for him but my anxiety stops myself from communicating my heart out to him thinking it might hurt him and I would never want that.....this situation is really weird and I really dont know what I should be doing. My sister is still close to him and I don't like venting about him with her and show her my sad side(which she still sees because my eyes and face just shows everything i feel). I dont want him to feel I ruined their brother-sister relationship...
I've been trying my best to distract myself from this but i dont know what to do.......The only two people i shared everything with arent there with me.....and I'm left all alone.
Making friends and connecting offline is not really my cup of tea , i have very bad social anxiety...and about online friendships...i used to feel its never real but i dont really have any option. I know i couldnt even explain it propely here but still any suggestions :) ?
I was in a relationship since last 8 years but there have been several times when he's never tried understanding what situation I was in but yet I've kept my love above all and tried my best from my side......
But last Saturday, something really bad happened....I've always and always tried whatever I could for him but he started ghosting me and my cousin sister (who is really close to me and him as well) tried talking to hiim about me and he said I was never really there for him and there's nothing left to talk......
Even till then I had always been trying to keep myself in his shoes and think from his side before reacting in front of him but this week made me realize he's never going to understand what's going in my side even when I've always given my everything to him.
I actually have social anxiety too( that I got due to my family ) and have a really hard time seeing/meeting new people and making friends so I dont really have "friends" friends.....I get attached too easily but people just come randomly make me attached and leave and all I had was him ......But now I feel like I myself need to back off else I'll really end of losing even the small part of me that I have within myself.
I do love him a lott and always want the best for him but my anxiety stops myself from communicating my heart out to him thinking it might hurt him and I would never want that.....this situation is really weird and I really dont know what I should be doing. My sister is still close to him and I don't like venting about him with her and show her my sad side(which she still sees because my eyes and face just shows everything i feel). I dont want him to feel I ruined their brother-sister relationship...
I've been trying my best to distract myself from this but i dont know what to do.......The only two people i shared everything with arent there with me.....and I'm left all alone.
Making friends and connecting offline is not really my cup of tea , i have very bad social anxiety...and about online friendships...i used to feel its never real but i dont really have any option. I know i couldnt even explain it propely here but still any suggestions :) ?
You must be going through a lot.pleae k kw that there are people out there who care and understand what you are going through.i think communication is a skill everyone needs help in.maybe getting help in how to communicate to him might be best.
Yess i really need to develop communication skills.....i just dont know where and how to start
@Sunflowergirl08
SunFlower
I hear, being ghosted is hurtful and painful. You are not alone. You are valid for feeling as you do. And it’s ok to feel what you are feeling now. 8 years is a long time
You are always welcome to vent here. This is a Judgement free area.
Do you have any theories as to why the random ghost?
Why does your anxiety stops you from communicating?
I just start getting feelings like what if I hurt the other person if I speak......i start keeping myself in their shoes and feel maybe I'm the one who always overreacts....i feel like why to bother anyone and all.....
@Sunflowergirl08
Communication is one of the key portions or components of a successful relationship.
If I am understanding correctly …
It is understandable that the last thing you ever want to do is harm someone. Not alone that someone is your partner. I feel the same way, I never want to intentionally harm my spouse. It is a commendable trait of respect and honor.
But in a romantic relationship, we are to accept that everything and everyday isn’t going to be a fantasy and/or fairy tale. We are individuals with individual feelings, goals, passions, and interests. We are all unique and that is one of the greatest gifts. We bring something different into the relationship. So it is natural to disagree or to ‘what if’.
Knowing all that, you are special, you are unique, and you bring gifts into all relationships. It is ok to have feelings of ‘what if’ because you care. If you over react on something, it is ok right now. You are valid and we acknowledge you and accept you.
When you are ready. The people whom have relationships with you (partners, brothers, sisters, cousins, friends, lovers, etc) will not know anything more than you tell them. So sharing anything to start with is the only way that the others in your life will know anything. Then the Romantic Relationship will be a little easier.
We have Validated Listeners, Click here for the list. And we also have some Self-Help guides to help
I need to learn how to communicate ;(
@Sunflowergirl08
I hear you!
It is a constant 'thing' that is always in need to be worked on.
start small :)
experiment, it is something you work with and on.