This isn't anything new...but it isn't anything good
I took notice of this a very long time ago, but whenever me and my partner get into a fight, I always want to reach out to my ex. I haven't actually done anything because I know that's the worst thing I could do. But it's like I crave for someone to care and to give me affection, when my partner becomes distant and avoids me.
Even after some time by ourselves, they snubbed me and has completely avoided the issue at hand. And when it all settles down, then it always turns out to somehow be my fault that the argument started.
And that's just the thing....all the arguments me and my current partner has ever gotten into, it's always made out to seem like I was the cause of the argument. I'm the reason the argument started in the first place. And now it's started to feel like even if I don't see it at first as my fault, eventually I've convinced myself that it is my fault.
And I get sad because I never wanted to start a fight, and whenever we do fight, I instantly want to run into the arms of someone else.
I don't understand that feeling. Why do I yearn to be with someone else?
@drmthwsn
maybe it is not wanting your ex..... but instead a feeling of being back in time when things were working or you remember being cared for. You may be missing something in current relationship or just think you are.
Some tend to remember things and when we think "i want to go back to __________ (insert answer)." A friend of mine told me a story that he remembered a restaurant to be the greatest a long, long time ago and when travelling with someone they said let's stop here and he said "NO" .... why because he feared he remembered it better then it was/ is and going in would confirm that. he would rather keep his memory of story of how he thought it was. I am assuming your ex is an ex for a reason.
As for the arguments....... if there are things you want to talk about and you want a discussion but it turns into an argument....you did not start them ... you just wanted communication, growth or improvement and your partner is fighting it.
@drmthwsn please know that you don’t deserve be ignored/avoided and made to feel culpable. that’s a really awful feeling, and i’m very sorry you had to go through it. of course, communication with your partner is key, but if they don’t seem to be receptive if you tell them about your hurt feelings, that reflects on them, not on you. again, i’m sorry you’re going through this, cause nobody deserves to feel this way, and i hope you’re able to find peace, solace, and understanding !!
There is nothing wrong with trying to communicate in your current relationship. Communication builds trust in a relationship and you shouldn’t be made to feel like eveything is your fault for just trying your best to do the right thing. Like someone else said, your ex is an ex for a reason so just think about that next time you feel like reaching out to them. We are here for you. This is always a safe space to share with no judgements. Everyone deserves to be loved. That includes you.