Venting
This man makes progress then fall’s back. I know I’m settling for less then I want. Possibly because it’s nice to have him around when he is, maybe lust, etc. I really think I love him though. Or at least I would like to believe. And I am trying so hard not to be the nagging girlfriend. But that result’s in me holding in my anger & sadness til I lash out. How to master the art of not letting people determine your emotions. Yes I’ve told him how I feel multiple times. And obviously it’s easy to just say end it as advice, but I still see some sort of potential. Does anyone else have trouble with lack of communication either in a ldr or in person?
@lovingAvocado4469
Yes i think many have this issue and your right sometimes the easy advice is move on but in reality only you can decide ... i am struggling with a similar thing as my partner finds new ways to disappoint me and not follow thru on simple thing and talking has not helped one bit..... i get the bobble head effect where he shakes his head agrees then does whatever the heck he wants anyway .......
I've been in your shoes. It's not always easy to deal with situations like these, especially when you're in love. You mentioned that you have communicated with him multiple times on how you felt, but that he has ignored the communication and keeps falling back.
If you want to make the relationship work, you could try different methods of communication. One such method is using "I" statements instead of "you".
For example: "You never wash the dishes when you're done!" Vs "I feel upset when there are dishes in the sink right after I just finished cleaning the kitchen."
Using "you" can sound accusatory or aggressive. Maybe you already do this method of communication, so another thing I would suggest is couple's counseling.
The only catch about couple's counseling is that it only works if BOTH parties want to go. I've done couple's counseling before with my ex-fiancé and it didn't work out for a multitude of reasons (he was abusive and had a drinking problem).
Lastly, maybe make a list of the pros & cons of staying in the relationship and examine your feelings. Saying "I won't be lonely" if you don't leave the relationship isn't really a pro to be honest. You'll end up feeling more lonely in a relationship where your partner continues to disregard your feelings.
In a healthy relationship, you want to feel love, supported, secure, and respected while having someone treat you kindly. Life is too short to be in a place where you feel miserable. I've been in my fair share of bad relationships and ended up always finding something better than the last relationship.
I hate that feeling of not wanting to be the “nagging girlfriend” when all you want to do is express your feelings. Maybe that is the issue that needs to be addressed. You should feel comfortable being able to speak up. I struggle with this as well. Hope it works out for you!
I don’t have any advice unfortunately. But I am also going through a very similar thing.
here for the comments and advice.
wish you the best of luck in your endeavours with this 💖