Would you consider this cheating?
a few months ago I caught my boyfriend of 16 years logging out of a snap account. I confronted him. He told be he has been talking to other women and buying content from them off snap. He spent over $400 in a six months on content. His reason for doing so was being we weren’t having enough sex/the type of sex he likes. On top of that I am also a content creator. And he made a fake account to talk to me as someone else and also spent money on my content. He’s deleted everything and swears he never physically cheated and promises he’ll never do that again but I can’t seem to get over it. I said I forgave him because in the past I have also been unfaithful and he’s forgiven me. But deep down I don’t forgive him and I’m not sure how to get over it or if I ever will.
is it cheating? Am I crazy?
@stphnins92
I think this is a line many are facing ....
I think you both should have a Honest talk about what you both want in your relationship. Tell each other what you want what you are missing...
Many people have online friends or interests but once he is buying content etc that seems like he is dancing on the line of infidelity even if he did nothing physical. As a content creator you should understand it is an income ...and you most likely do not have feelings for those buying your content.
when people even come close to a fuzzy line stepping over is easier IF we are not happy and satisfied in our current relationship..... you were forgiven ? did he get over it really or is this something he felt was ok because you did something... lots of things for you to try to work out.
he says I’m forgiven but every time we fight it gets brought up like he’s not over it. And I feel like he used his forgiveness as an excuse in regards to me forgiving him. As if what he did wasn’t as big of a deal as what I did. We’ve had multiple talks about what we both want. And we’re working on it. But I still can’t seem to fully move on and I can’t seem to talk to him about it anymore without him getting angry
you are not crazy. that's cheating. at least in my eyes. the purchasing of content is up for debate i think, but engaging with the women is over the line. also, im very confused on what the purpose was behind him secretly interacting with you with your content.
I wish I knew what the purpose of it was. Like he said he originally make the account and subbed to me to make me more confident but he subbed and talked with me for at least 6 or more months which I don’t understand why. And how did I not notice
@stphnins92
Perhaps he was checking on you to see how you are/ were interacting with people on the site.... if he was not secure in what you are doing....
Did you ask him about his motivations and have a real heart to heart about how each feels in this situation.
I know it sucks and many of us struggle with it ... when i have to tell my partner that small things bothered me and how it really made me feel .... it was is like a pressure relief valve much better then guessing why did this happen? or why did he do that ?
@stphnins92 To play devils advocate. I'd ask yourself. Why is it cheating for him to buy it but its not cheating for you to sell it?
Is it the secrecy? He seemed honest when confronted. I'm not saying if its right or wrong and you have every right to feel as you do. Just a question you might want to ask yourself and consider.
The difference is he was involved. He has access to ALL my passwords and could look at anything he wanted at anytime. Which is something we discussed a lot prior to me even starting an OF account. Again the reason behind him doing it was to boost my confidence but the reason he stayed and let it go on for so long is uncertain. He can’t seem to give me an answer for it other than he just did. And even so I can get past the fact that he did that but I can’t get past the communication with other women.
