cheated on my kinda long distance boyfriend
okay so i know it sounds really bad but he cheated on me about 6 months ago and i wanted to end it and he said that we can work it out if i give it time well i gave it plenty of time and i still feel betrayed and heart broken.
i’ve been wanting to break up with and i’ve tried many times but he just manipulates me into staying with him and i don’t just wanna do it over text i want to do it in person. but he’s making it very difficult.
anyways i hooked up with this guy off *** when i was drunk and it was amazing like the best sex i’ve ever had and i’ve been talking to him for about a month now and i kinda have feelings for him but i really don’t want to jump into another relationship so we’re keeping it casual but im not with anyone else and he’s not with anyone else because we aren’t using condoms (i’m on birth control).
i just need advice should i break up with my boyfriend over text and just end it now or should i break up with him in person and risk being manipulated again. i’m just so lost right now and have no clue what im doing.
i’ve mentally checked out of my relationship so long ago i don’t even know if i have feelings for him anymore but i really don’t wanna hurt him. he hurt me tho a lot.
@NessaNova
While it might have been better to wait until you ended one thing before jumping into a casual thing... in a long distance thing a text/ call or even email is ok to tell him it is over.
The key is not about your moving on but you were not in the relationship for awhile. if you do not have feelings and not connected. People may think it is always about " someone else" but as you may see now someone else sometimes happens when / after the relationship is on life support to keep it going.
I know this is going to sound selfish, but if I were you I would play it safe. If you know you can't handle it and dont want to be manipulated don't do it in person, just communicate with him via text. People are most corageous over the phone, in person things get complicated and tricky. You might see him again in person and then gain more attraction for him again. It sounds like you're just having a fun time with someone else. May be best to enjoy the ride and think of what you can gain. You say you basically don't remember him. If he your ex hurt you, you should think about that because he would most likely do it again. What do you have to lose and gain from either situation? Sounds like you already checked out so why revisit it? unless you think he really loves you and don't want to lose him?
Is it worth having him manipulate you again? Do you want to waste your time again? Would it be a waste of time?
honestly to me it sounds like you already moved on so any communication with him would be just to break up. I guess I would evaluate whether it's worth even reopening anything if you think it would be too hard to do and that he will manipulate you which already doesn't sound too good... I would suggest not even contacting him at all if you can just avoid it especially if he is abusive; I am wondering if he could use that as an excuse to contact you again and if it's therefore worth bothering with it at all. If he is "normal" and you think he would accept the break up, then by all means do break up with him so he won't contact you again and if you are sure of your decision of not wantint him in your life as a partner.
