An insecurity one can have in romantic relationship is..
We all are insecure in our relationships due to one or other reasons. What is one insecurity you have in your romantic relationship? How one could minimize or deal with it?
Let's talk about it!
@ASilentObserver
My main insecurity is that I've caused his feelings to change which is why he doesn't seem so head-over-heels for me anymore. I think that I'm not sweet enough, not funny or extroverted enough anymore. The being "sweet" part really gets me. That's what I believe to be a core part of my personality; if I'm not considered "sweet," I pretty much fail as a human being and despise myself.
He used to call me "angel" all the time... I can't recall the last time he said that :'''''(
@lovemusicpoetry023 Ive been feeling like this too, especially since Ive been going through a rough patch & havent felt like my regular self in quite a bit. It makes me think that he feels like Im a burden to talk to and thats why he hasnt been as loveydovey :((
When things get moody, I tune out-does it show or do I need to sharpen my skills of fake listening? Because there are days that my brain can
That Ill never be as good as his ex
Sometimes I am afraid he doesn't find me attractive anymore; that intimacy for him has become a chore, he doesn't take initiative any more. I don't like talking about it with him, I do not want him to have sex with me just to get it over with, or when he doesn't want to. That just makes me feel worse. Many times I wonder if he is doing it just for me or if he really does want me.... Does that mean he loves me or that he doesn't? It is very confusing.
I often get really upset if I'm unable to help my partner with what he may be dealing with.
I think sometimes it's good to remind ourselves that our loved ones appreciate our care and support, and that we don't always need to rush in and try to fix the "issue" . Sometimes just being there for them, and giving them space to talk may be the best support we can provide 
I have the real fear that no amount of love can overcome our scars from our past relationships to give eachother our all
@reservedSpruce7437 well put. Our past scars sometimes feel insurmountable. I recently met a woman who told me about how her and her spouse communicate these scar feelings. It is this... when either of them are having a feeling that has been influenced by a past scar they say this is the story Im telling myself..... (insert problem that has past scar baggage attached.) She explained that this gives her partner a clear indication that this is NOT because of the partner but the scar and together they can work out a new story. I loved this idea so much, the thought of having a clear way to talk through past scars just seems incredibly beautiful.
That you aren't able to fully be yourself around your SO or partner. That you have to say things carefully or avoid saying things that are critical because of their reaction.
This is very damaging to your relationship and should tell you that you need to really work on trust and communication in your relationship. Found that out too late.
When I'm upset I worry I don't actually know what love feels like, or that even if I did it'll never work. Any amount of distance is a sign she's either picked up on this somehow or that she's doubting if she loves me. I know it's crazy irrational, I know she loves me, I just don't always believe it, and I worry that makes me overly clingy..
Overthinking is fun
Feeling the need to have your SO's appreciation/attention for self validation. I just realized that both my husband and I have this. He needs to hear how I appreciate what he does for me, and I need him to be present with me when we're together. Ours developed into a co-dependency where he would make sacrifices to come home early, but then be distracted with other things. I would feel neglected since he wasn't really "with me" and he felt unappreciated. I would ask for more of his time/attention and he would withdraw. I finally broke the cycle yesterday by not seeking him out after he withdrew. He said he wanted me to reach out to him. Even though I wanted to be with him, I wanted him to return on his own so I found other things to do.
im in a complicated relationship with someone. its a long distance relationship (really long distance. theres no way i can see them in person as of now), and because of this weve come to an agreement that things should be left kind of open.
i dont know if doing this was a mistake. were not technically dating, but were also not just friends. i love him, and i trust him to know that he cares and loves me too. it just hurts seeing him being affectionate with his friends (hes bisexual, so even with his male friends i worry)
i feel like i dont have a right to feel this way since were not technically together, and that i shouldnt have an opinion over his relationships with others.
i just feel really insecure that he doesnt like me as much as he claims he does. i trust him, and i want what he says to be true.
i dont think im attractive or fun enough. he always seems bored when he talks to me, but not with his friends. it could be because hes just a really closed off and introverted person, but i cant help but fear what might be going on without me knowing.
@chromatixa what are you waiting for? Just ask him out your doubts and if he answers them in fashion that seems geniune then you guys can really make a move in relationship, gradually have discussion about your issues, try to support each other.
@chromatixa
Hi,
You need to tell him how you feel, there is no harm it airing your thoughts and concerns. If he is honest and genuine you will get the answer you want, but either way you may get the answers you need.
You shouldn't settle for second best.
@chromatixa
Tell him how you feel sis. You should be able to be open and honest with him. If it doesn't work out then he isn't the one. If it does then cheers to you.
@chromatixa
Hello there. I know this is a bit of an old thread, but how are you now my friend? I understand how you feel as I'm going through the exact situation. I'm in an LDR too. Nevermets. 8000+ kilometers between us and absolutely different cultures. She is bisexual and I'm the first guy that she ever dated.
I was recovering from a previous relationship which was very toxic and my ex cheated on me twice, And I haven't been in a relationship for over 4 years until I met this girl. But months after the relationship, my past trauma started flooding back, lots of insecurities about no matter what I do, she would one day cheat me and leave me, that I'm not good enough for her, and uncertainties about the future. And when I was single, one of my defense mechanisms was not trusting anybody. And being in love with this person and not be able to trust them made my life hell. I was in a happy relationship where I wasn't happy. My mind was picking up every single thing that didn't go according to what I expected and started making assumptions.
She is also introverted. And sometimes doesn't sound very interested. But she can be a very curious and friendly person who got both male and female friends who she is very friendly with. This gives me lots of anxiety.
I told her how I felt, about my insecurities and my lack of trust. this is a must. " Tell them how you feel. Do not hold anything back". And told her that I might need a break until I fix myself. I think my love stems from a very dark place. A place of insecurities, low self-esteem, lack of trust, and all the ugly things. And my world was, and still revolving around her. This was not making any progress for me.
I think what you need to do is tell him how you feel straight. and listen to what he has to say. Good people surely understand and will try to make you feel better. sometimes they cannot relate to your feelings but they will "make an effort" look for that effort. If it's there, it's worth fighting for.
And have time for yourself. Sometimes you need to save yourself first in order to love someone else. Do what makes you happy. Have a good life outside of them. Make sure to do at least one thing that will make you grow every passing day. For now, one of my coping mechanisms is hitting the gym every morning and working hard. Because no matter how life would drag you down every day, I feel stronger, I know my physical self is slowly growing. This is enough for me to keep pushing.
Reason with your thoughts. Find the roots. Where do they come from? Is it you? Or do they cause them? let your logical mind handle them. if you feel biased, consult a third party (who are not biased towards you or them). and make yourself understand, sometimes people come to your life to grow you thru pain, some come to you to grow you thru affection. Ask yourself that will you be alright if in the future things might not go right with the relationship. if you scared of it, take a step back, work on yourself.
Sometimes they are not worth it. They don't speak the same language as you. In that case, let them know, bid them farewell. They will feel bad, so will you. But time heals. do not be afraid of what will happen in the future. You will get back on your feet.
Take care of yourself and your thoughts first. We are here to talk with you. Self-love is important. I'm going thru the same thing. And I hope, I will get out of this scary pit that I am in as well. All the power to you, queen.
An insecurity one can have is the fear to speak up one's own mind. Some fear that the partner will leave them or be hurt if they speak openly about things that aren't going well or any issue they have with their partner or their relationship. But discussing issues together is, on the contrary, the key to a healthy relationship!
Another one is the fear to show the other your true self, even aspects that are more unusual or "unpleasant". Here again, opening up is the key for a deep connection.
@Aayla I was actually going to post on the thread to ask if it was unusual to feel insecure about speaking up, but seeing your comment answered my question.
Is it ok to feel eel this way though? Like Ive tried speaking up and he ended up almost breaking up with me because Im too negetive. Though he can talk about feeling depressed whenever he wants.
@Aayla speaking up is definitely daunting. However, its so important to be your own advocate, youre important and someone (even if its yourself) needs to look out for you.