I feel I have no one else to talk to
i feel like I’m never good enough . When i try to do something meaningful for my fiancé something always goes wrong . He tells md that im always messing something up . When he says this he makes me feel small. I don’t feel confident in the task that im doing because I wasn’t feel it will result to him telling me it wasn’t done correctly. I try. I really do try but I always feel like it’s never enough. Perfection is expected of me but I can measure up to being just perfect… I feel lost and defeated. I tell him that hurts my feelings but he just says that’s the way he talks, that’s the way he is . I often think , am I being too sensitive . But it’s been 8 yrs and I s can’t get “used to the way he talks.” He tells me I have an attitude problem which is something I feel I have been working on. Instead he insisted that I always have n attitude even when I don’t. He claims he knew me long enough to know when I have an attitude or not. Idk it’s all too much. I feel sadness , darkness , loneliness , and defeat.
@Blackskys
something is not right in your relationship. normal relationship should not be this much pain and hurt. have you looked into relationships with narcissists? plenty of youtube videos. can you both see couple therapy please?
@Blackskys as hard as it may be, treat him the same way back and if he speaks up, explain to him that you were feeling troubled before because of how he treats you and try to work it out. if you can’t do that, try a relationship therapist (i am sorry i forgot what they’re called
Hi, Before I was half way through reading your post I was thinking "narcissists"!(Research it)
From what Ive learned about them is they are self serving at all costs and these are the people that only take and never give. You deserve so much better!!!!
Blessings, Day
YOU shouldn't have to meet up to standards that are so far out there. No one is prefect not even a perfectionist and I've been a daughter and a sister to two of them my whole life. Him telling you that you have an attitude is not ok. We all have emotions and that's alright as long as there isn't any physical violence or verbal/ mental abuse. You don't need to feel small because you are doing your best and if he can't appreciate you for being you, he isn't worthy of you. I have a hard time with self love yet we all need to love ourselves before loving someone else. You're still in a relationship stage that you can still walk away. The choice is always yours, not anyone else's. And if you aren't happy with many things in the relationship, don't move forward with it. Personal experience, I was engaged 3 times to one person who cheated on me and our girlfriend multiple times. Don't stay if you aren't happy and if he can't talk to you without you feeling hurt by how he says his words. DONT STAY! You are precious and deserve love and affection like everyone does. Remember, YOU are WORTHY of love and DESERVE respect and commitment where you don't feel pressured to be prefect. If he can't love you for you, you need to move on and not marry him. You have choices and only you can make them, no one can take that from you. Do a pros and cons list. See how you feel after.
You are enough , you are worthy , you are an amazing person .
you don’t have a attitude it’s just your personality. How you communicate maybe differently than how he perceives . I’m going through this and I’m trying to not lose myself . Remember your worthy . I hope you know that . Your beautiful and someone will give you the proper love and support you need .
@Blackskys- I agree with LostTurtle. Your relationship sounds unhealthy. You should feel accepted, supported and understood. Eight years is a long time to be treated in this manner. Please understand it is not your place to feel you are not good enough. I hope you can find some support. Many communities have social organizations for domestic abuse - and sorry to say it sounds like you have been experiencing emotional abuse. There is help and answers available. I wish you the support you deserve.
@Blackskys
I have to agree with the others here this is NOT ok ........
It is not how he talks ................or ok for him to pick apart what you try to do for him ....... NO one needs to be treated that way and once you see it and realize you are worth more ....... you can walk away or use it to put him in his place if you feel strongly about how you feel about him.
i threw the same back at spouse and use it to put him in his place if you feel strongly about how you feel about him. i threw the same treatment back at spouse and he wised up very fast .... once you know your worth and make it clear people will not try this type of stunts on you.