Is our dog my husband's emotional mistress?

My husband and I have been married for 6 months now, after dating for 8 months or so, part of which we lived together for. By the standards of anyone who didn't have an arranged marriage, that's a short amount of time dating someone but I do want to clarify that after an ample amount of dating experience, I had my eyes open for any red flags. He had recently gotten a puppy when we started dating. I've never had a pet in my life that didn't live in a fish tank so I was pretty excited about dating someone with a dog but now I feel like the dog is a major reason for most of our fights and issues in the marriage. I understand why he's so attached to her, because he got her at a time when he felt extremely lonely and depressed and has raised her since she was a puppy but I feel like the dog is taking my place in his life.

1. The dog

Before I say anything else, I want to say that I have nothing against the dog itself, she's a sweetheart for the most part, if not a little bratty. My issue is with the lack of boundaries that my husband has failed to set when it comes to the dog, despite me telling him since before we got married that I need it. We couldn't travel anywhere besides 2-3 day trips after the wedding because he was interviewing and needed to study on weekends. Even those were after we had fights about how we never go anywhere and don't get any alone tkme. Now he has offers and doesn't need to prep specially for interviews but now we can't travel because what do we do with the dog? A. We either have to take her with us, which means we're restricted from any places that don't allow dogs, even on vacation. B. We have to leave her at home, which he refuses to do for more than 3-4 hours. I can see the separation anxiety in his eyes the moment we step out of the house and after 2 hours or so, I can practically see the tantrum oncoming unless we start to head back home. I should add that the dog is fine the entire time as long as she doesn't need to pee/poop. Even then, if she can't hold, she does it in the apartment. C. We have the option of putting her in a pet hotel but it's costly and my husband acts like I've asked him to sacrifice his first born child when I suggest this option. Even when he agrees to it, he harasses (I say harasses because he won't refrain from even name calling if they don't reply to his texts right away or don't follow his instructions to a T) the person we've left her with for updates and pictures and acts like they've abused her. I've told him multiple times now that I feel like we need some alone time to reconnect and be romantic with each other if we want to have a good marriage but it's almost like he doesn't even hear me. Might I add, we've been married for over 6 months now and haven't even gone on a honeymoon, nor do we expect to in the foreseeable future. I've been after him for a weekend trip to 4 hours away for 3 months now and it still hasn't happened, or even been tentatively planned despite having multiple fights about it and about how we don't step out of the apartment unless it's to visit my parents (also a very stressful experience for me).

We had a major fight yesterday because I got tired of asking him to move the dog's cage out of the bedroom, which I've been asking for weeks now and which he had said he would do after a couple days of moving into the apartment. Even when we were living with my parents for a few months after the wedding, it took me asking him over several weeks and then having a huge fight about it fueled by months of sleep deprivation to put the dog in a different room. Might I add, the dog was more than fine, it was my husband who had separation anxiety. He keeps assuring me that I'm always his first priority but 2 weeks ago, we had a fight when we were out shopping and he threatened to leave me in the middle of nowhere because the dog had been home alone for 3 hours and he couldn't leave her alone for longer and I was refusing to go home just yet because I was a sobbing mess trying to tell him why I was upset, which he had asked. He then also smashed his iphone into the pavement because he got frustrated and started yelling at me to call my dad and ask him to come pick me up (my parents live 2 hours away) and take me home.

I feel like the dog is a higher priority for him than me, or a happy married life, for that matter. I don't know what to do if we can't even go grocery shopping for longer than 2 hours unless we take the dog or without him throwing a tantrum. The only alone time we get from the dog is when he wants to have sex, which is when he'll be more than happy to shove the dog into her cage so she doesn't keep getting in his way.

1. Sex

There is very little cuddling or any physical affection unless it's followed by sex, or at least an attempt at it from my husband. He has been complaining since the wedding that we don't have sex as often as he *needs* or as often as newlyweds do,even though we've done nothing else that newlyweds do either. We do it once or twice a week and it's always incredibly painful for me, to the point that I spent a good chunk of the time contemplating how much easier it would be to die rather than be compelled to have painful sex for the rest of my life. He's my first so I also have nothing to compare it to. We've figured out some things that lessen the pain enough for me to not be absolutely terrified of it, a major one being that I need to be turned on for it. I've tried to guide him towards how to turn me on but he wants to *explore* other ways as well, which ultimately do nothing for me. If I tell him that I don't feel like having sex and he's already turned on (which is usually if he's asking me for it), he gets very upset and picks a fight with me saying that I always say no to sex and how the stress of not getting enough is going to make him sterile soon. He refuses to masturbate, saying he doesn't like it. He says that he feels afraid to talk to me because it might turn into a fight and that everytime I say no to sex with him, he questions if he's attractive enough for me. I think part of that insecurity comes from the fact that he's not a very physically attractive person and I'm very much one. When we were dating, he would take me to parties with his friends all the time to show me off and most of them asked him how he managed to get me to date him.

3. Calling his mother

This one is a weird issue, I know, but I'm at a loss about what to do. My husband is very attached his family, especially his mother. She can do no wrong in his eyes, which I don't find fault with because most people who haven't yet realized their parents are also people with flaws think that. There's nothing wrong with her, she is a nice person, if not pushy when she wants something done. I can't speak on his dad since he seems fine but has also done some very questionable things in the past and present. They live halfway across the world from us, since my husband came to the US for his master's and to work. His mom calls him every morning and night, usually for 15-20 mins. They speak a different language so I can't understand all of what they talk about but I've picked up some words and phrases so I can understand some. Generally it's about other things but sometimes if she wants me to do something, like setup a puja (it's basically a grand prayer) for a festival or go to the doctor for something, she'll keep pestering him to get me to do it. Or she'll keep asking him if I've had my period yet for this month and to make sure it's regular. If I miss it (I have PCOS so my cycle has never been regular or consistent), she'll pester him to get me to take a pregnancy test. The worst part is, my husband has been pestering me since before we got married to call his parents on a regular basis, maybe not night and day like him but at least every 2 days. He says it's so we have a close relationship and it won't be awkward when he brings them to the states to live with us down the road, in a year or two (this was something he told me early in the relationship and asked if I'd be okay with it, assuring me it won't be for at least the first 5 years of our marriage, though he has conveniently forgotten about that part). I have to admit, I'm terrible about calling or texting people, or replying to them right away. I've gone weeks without calling my own parents despite living 2 hours from them, and I hardly ever call or text anyone unless there's a very specific reason for it. To be fair, most people I would text, friends or family, I have a good enough relationship with to not be talking on a regular basis but still be able to ask a question or for a favor, or offer something when I want/need to. My husband has a habit of talking to family and friends on a regular basis so he doesn't think it's a big ask for me to call his mom every 2 days but to me, that's very out of habit and kind of seems like a waste of time since we generally don't have much to talk about unless she wants me to do something that I don't want to do. We've had multiple fights about this and I've told him I don't like him forcing me to call his mother or turn it into a fight. He doesn't bring it up that often anymore but when he does, he tries to guilt trip me into calling.

I don't know how to get it through to him that I don't like him trying to force me to do things just because he wants me to do them or trying to change me. I understand that there's always some adjusting that needs to happens in a new marriage and I have adjusted things about myself that were really affecting him but I just don't see how this is one of those things. It's not like I'm telling him that he can't talk to his mom so often or to not talk to his friends on a daily basis. All I'm saying is that I don't want to be dragged into doing the same.

I know this is long but I would really REALLY appreciate some advice or even just some commiseration.