Not talking about the bad things

@Summershy

That sounds like great growth in this area... you are correct every time you think about whatever they did it refreshes anger. This is an item i occasionally struggle with as well.

@Summershy,

there is nothing wrong with expressing feelings and anger.

And no, you don't have to forgive. Just acceptance will do often. Acceptance meaning accepting a situation happened, while looking at it from a distance. Like you're a spectator.

To forgive while you still feel anger is self denial.

I hear where you are coming from, however, we can agrrr to disagree.

I have heard that forgiving others is good for your health.

Acceptance of the situation and dedication to make sure you are not hurt again and taking steps to protect yourself

@Summershy When I pray for those who have hurt me, God changes my heart.

It's beautiful. Magical.

@Summershy Yep, I love the way you saw this. Forgiveness is about turning off the stove and removing the pot and living in the present. The opposite is leaving the pot boiling and staying very close to the heat and the steam and thinking that our thoughts will surely punish the pot. The stove and the pot and the water don’t know or care that the heat is causing you great pain. Forgiveness has very little to do with the other person and everything to do with our choice to suffer. Still, even knowing this, I forget sometimes and I crank up the heat and throw that pot right back on the fire and huddle close. The pain from the fire is a good reminder that I’d be more comfortable in returning to forgiveness.

To me, I think of the stove my thoughts, pot= emotions, heat= anger and hurt

I’m sorry you have gone through this. I can relate. It seems you are succeeding in this process, congratulations, and thank you for this analogy. I will implement it immediately.

@Summershy

Good for you! Acknowledging the anger and other associated feelings/emotions while not boiling the water more is not an easy task

@Summershy

Your right about this. I just had a recent argument with a co-worker who treated me poorly and blamed me for a mistake that I did not do. I was so angry cause I felt so injustified. But the more I think or talk to people about this, the more angry I really am. I even posted on my social media how some people like her are doesn't like to put the blame on others and never admitting their own faults.

I will take this to heart. I hope God understands me that it is hard for me to forgive this person for what she just did to me. But I can try to lift that kettle off the stove, for me to be free from the burden and my anger. :)