Parents and disabled needs adult child relationship causing stress on both parties

So I need to take my friend Grace to the hair appointment again the one she was suppose to have in April she cancelled because her 'hair wasn't long enough".    its that time again and Mom's once again coming with me so she can get Grace back on the bus and get her back home.   

From Last June to January  I would be able to have Dad drive me to Grace's place pick her up drive to the plaza the hair dresser's in, drop her and I off.  Then after the appointment I could put her on a bus back to Achilles, and she could get off on her own there.   

But now she has to have someone go on the bus with her because her's vison is worse then before and she can't be by herself.  Last time in March Mom came with Dad and I to pick Grace up, and then drove the three of us to the plaza, and then did his own thing and then both Mom and I went back to Grace's place w/ her and I returned home.

So now its that time of month again and Mom and I need to take her to the hair place.  Up until tonight for less then half a week, I believed that Dad was going to help like he always had between June-March (when she does goes)- drive me/us to Grace's place, pick her up, then drive us to the plaza like normally.   But no Mom says "we can just take the bus"  but as I said in another post on this thread there's a gigantic hill, to get down (and when Grace has to hold onto your arm, it goes very slowly that sometimes if I have to take Grace up the hill like I have in the past, I think I will get their by midnight)  and then there's a street we need to cross to get to the East bound side of the street.   And once we're back in Willow, once we get to the right street, we have to cross yet another street.      Mom's plan is too complicated and Grace doesn't really want to be having to be crossing two streets when she's can't see, and neither do I since its kind of annoying to have to do that when you know, you have to be Grace's seeing eye person.     

Supper incident

Background:

Since Sept my mom has been a part of the "older choir" that sings every Sunday in church.  So because of that it means she has to miss supper or have her supper later then Dad and I  on Thursdays.   So this has led to Thursdays being a "fend for yourself supper" night.  I had one too many of Dad's meals to care for more of them. (2014-MArch 2020+August-Sept 2022)- he's such a bad cook I could write a book about how not to cook   I'm autistic so  I always come down at a certain time to make suppers, either my Thursday supper or family supper on Fridays.  The time I come down is 5:25pm.  Another thing is  that the kitchen is really small.  So that if Dad's cooking  his supper in the toaster oven and I need  the microwave for my supper -I have to stop his supper in the toaster oven to use the microwave. 

Oh and one last thing- in high school I took a Anthology, Psychology and Sociology class, in College for an Admin course I took a Psychology class, and I have also have or at least had Mental Health First aid Training. 

Story

On June 13th, I went down at 5:25pm to make my supper.  I find both my parents in the kitchen and Dad's using up the only free counter space.  And I had a big blow out because knowing Dad he could spend a month using that free counter space before I could have it.    My parents then threaten to not take me to Europe this year because of my explusion.  But come on I come down at the same time for both my suppers and the family suppers on Fridays at 5:25pm.  After Mom was gone to choir pratice Dad said the very long thing that "I will go through life with being loney because no one will want to work with you or be your friend" or some b.s like that.   

With the exception of Dad and Luna,  I only ever not get along with two (er three?) other people under different scenarios from 2014-2020.   Main one was a peer leader at my day program (New Branch, not actual name)- she would nitpick a lot of us. There's a thread over in relationships about her i believe (I think there is, if not I might have to make one).   The other time is a peer in New Branch yelled at me when I had to tell her we had to wait for the peer leaders to come in to I think serve the food (there had been problems before where, when we helped ourselves, too many people had second before someone else could get food).

  The last person was my "sort -of" coworker at church.   Since pre-Covid I would sometimes come in on Thursdays afternoons after going to New Branch so i could do my job if I couldn't for some reason come in on Wednesday.    I'm guessing the (or 2nd to) last week in March prior to the lockdown that I went to work on Thursday afternoon to do my job and while I'm doing it the 'co-worker" shows up in the church.  Somehow she got the message that I wasn't coming in today.  When I asked the sub for the then-office Admin,  the sub said that the "coworker" "came in because she wanted too".

But except for those I have gotten along fine with everyone else. 

Title: Dad hogging supper conversations

Background:

99% of nights when Mom, Dad and I are all eating supper together -Dad monlopizes the conversation so much that he's still eating when Mom has finished eating because he had been talking more then he has been eating food. Like me he has a tends to tell us every single little detail about a book he's reading if its about history  or a news thing online.   The same day as the Alec Baldwin case was in the news on TV -Dad was going on and on about a different case (but I thought it was a Alec Baldwin case) and I yelled Dad away from the table because I was so sick of for even less then 5 seconds of him talking about a case that 5 seconds, felt like 20mins because Dad wouldn't shut up for even one minute about talking about ANYTHING Else .  Dad's been reading something about Canadian Troops in Italy by a Canadian author

Story

So we sat down at supper and I was going to continue a conversation I was having with Mom out in the kitchen from earlier. But before I could start talking that Dad just jumped right into the conversation and had to tell us about every single detailed about these Canadians soilders who didn't have much food in Italy.  I was getting annoyed by less then 5 mins of him spending the 3-5mins of supper so far talking about troops  I had a cow like I do when I explode.  I really didn't want to hear it when I was having supper.   Those 3-5 mins felt like half a darn hour when it really wasn't it just I wanted to be able to talk about something entirely else.    We only had the chance to talk about a semi-related topic for about 5 seconds before Dad started talking again about the troops in Italy.  And he was still talking when Mom was pouring the chips/Crisps away into bags. 

But after my cow  my parents were upset because I had a cow another night in a row.  But what's I hate the most is my Dad called me "ignorant".   And what hurt the most is a fact that's he' is  darn wrong about.   HE somehow believes I would be kicked out of another house because of me not wanting to listen to other people talk. in other words "No one would tolerate my behavour". 

As I said in my previous post about last night's incident, I'm the one who studies Ology classes  (Anthology, psychology, and Sociology  in high school,  psychology as an elective in College for office admin, and I even have a mental health first aid training)

So I think I have a bit grip on human behaviour then Dad does.  And I'm 99% sure that in another household that IF the members of that household even sit together for supper (because they might not because either they have different work schedules, or they prefer to stay on their computer while they eat) that IF talking was allowed, everyone would have a turn to talk  

Dad's obsession with Baked beans

Dad used to have a little obsession with baked beans.  He once got scolded by Mom about giving me "too much extras(sides)" for Sunday lunch (fish patties) and I could expect baked beans to be on the dad for either "Dad suppers" when he did them once a week. 

 But the older he gets the more obsessed he seems to get with having baked beans for supper.  about 3-4 (maybe more less then 10) years ago for supper the only time he would get baked beans out for supper (outside of the one nightly "Dad suppers" - only for pizzas, hot dogs or burger nights.   But now he's getting them out for almost every meal unless: beans (kidney or otherwise) are included, Pasta or Asian nights. 

2-3 maybe 4 weeks ago if we had deviled eggs and potato salad he wouldn't get the baked beans out.  But tonight we had that same meal again and he had the *** on the table.

Mom says I don't have to eat them.  But I feel like I'm obligated to when its on the table.  Like I'm obligated to eat the gross Asian Salad Mom makes during summer and (that the Asian Salad is the main course unlike the side course of baked beans)

I'm at the point where I want to sell all the cans of baked bean (and we have a LOT) to the community to have about 4 days of being free from them that's not Pasta/Asian/beans-included meal. 

Parents telling me to make my own *** decisions and then telling me the opposite 

My parents want me to make my own adult decisions.  But when I do,  they tell me not to do X or Y. like I'm a 5-6 year old child.  Yeah I will "always be their baby".   But serious its roasting hot outside today its 27C (81F)but feels like 32C (90F).  Mom said I could go into the pool earlier today but Dad told her "I shouldn't" because of the  "blazing sun"  but  my main room in the house is just as hot as outside  according to Mom's clock/themerotor combo.   It says 27C and its sits on her bed-side table up here.   

And it doesn't help when Dad keeps "agitating" me as well when I had long made my decision.