I think my bf might be a closeted gay man.
i've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and i've never seen him on gay porn, but he isn't into kissing, he likes to cuddle but he never initiates sex and it's been over a year since h'es done [sexual acitivity description removed] on me. the few times he has initiated it's in the middle of the night and we aren't facing each other. when we have sex he'll close his eyes we have never made eye contact and when he [sexual word removed] he hides his face from me somehow. He'll spend hours looking at shoes and clothes and cares about brands. when we have sex he won't kiss my neck or play wiht my body unless i tell him too. I just don't know and we'll have sex once a month at the most
[Forum post edited by Forum Mentor @RaCat]
Hey there @miamiannonymous! I am sorry to hear that the situation with your boyfriend makes you so confused. I can imagine it is never easy when you love person and what to have a great time with them but they don't show interest in you, even when you are having sexual activity together. I believe that it is hard to decide if person is gay or not, every of us are different and it might be that he is not that interested in sex as you are. Have you tried talking with him about it and how it makes you feel?
P.S. I needed to edit your post a bit and I moved it to Sex And Sexuality sub-forum, it might get more attention there :)
@RaCat Since when are things being censored to this degree? I've never seen anything like it before.
@Phthalo thank you for your concern. We need to remove words that are too explicit, the same as you can't use them in the group support rooms and etc, but I tried to edit it as little as possible 
It could be anything really. Sure, maybe he's gay, but there's also a possibility that he just has a low libido, or he could be asexual, or maybe, perhaps, just isn't sexually attracted to you. But it's hard to really know unless you have an honest (but accepting) conversation about it. But he may not even know.
@miamiannonymous
His style of sex just isn't for you. It's a hard truth to come to the realization that sexual compatibility isn't part of your relationship. Perhaps other aspects of your relationship work, great - but, without a good physical connection that you BOTH want and desire is not going to likely pave the way for other things in your relationship such as closeness, frequency, quality, length of time, and perhaps even intimacy. For whatever reasons, he has been brought up to believe that sex is this way and that isn't likely going to change no matter how much you talk to him or try to convince him otherwise. There are things that you can work towards changing someone's opinion or thoughts on a subject, but sexuality is one of those things that isn't easy to change and even if, it would take a long time to find a compromise between you. It may never become what you have in your mind as ideal. If you're comfortable with that, ok. Part of selecting a great partner is making sure that they are sexually compatible with your own and in this case perhaps you didn't choose someone that meets or exceeds what you need in a relationship sexually.
While I hate to suggest that you should consider ending things, I don't see many options in this situation given that unless you're willing to forego sexuality in the manner in which you desire it then things will continue to get worse for you over time.
I know common feedback might be to try to "change his mind" or "help him understand", but, based on years of working with couples on sexual issues - I'm wise enough to know that there are things you simply cannot require a person to change, especially something that is so personal to them such as their own sexuality.
So, is he gay? It doesn't really matter and honestly, it doesn't sound as if that is your issue at all. He has hang-ups about sex OR prefers sex in a particular way that doesn't mesh with your ideals. If he is gay, let him explore that on his own and by himself. That is up to him and his life. Instead of gay, perhaps he grew up in a household that taught him negative things about women and sexuality. Perhaps he has a lot guilt or even fear about intimacy. In a lack of frequency, it could be a hormonal disorder. We don't know, but labeling him isn't helping anything and even if he is gay doesn't mean he can't have a productive life with a woman. Perhaps thinking he's gay helps you to feel less rejected and less desired by him as some sort of justification. In your own life, what is important is that you re-evaluate your decision to stay with someone who clearly doesn't fit your ideal sexual partner.
There is fork in the road here. The beauty of it is that you can choose which path you walk down next and it will greatly impact your overall life satisfaction either positively or negatively.
@Sventek you're absolutely right it's not about him maybe being gay, it's that his low sex drive makes me feel self conscious. We do talk and he understands how i feel and I know that he is the type to not want sex when he's stressed and he's stressed every day. I tell him I have needs and I love this man a lot and he tells me all the time that's it not me that he is attracted to me it's him and all the things going on in his end. I guess the gay thing is because to me it would be so much easier if it was that he was gay or cheating or something because then it's okay that's why now how do we solve the problem. now I don't know why he has these sex hang up so I feel not in control and can't solve the problem and i like to get to the bottom of things and solve them. He has a pool business and school and I know being out in the sun everday is exhausting but sometimes I can't help but take it personally especially when it's been a month or two I get fustrated I get mad at him for not caring about needs and then it turns into a fight. I know he grew up on a house with women and his sisters are models so they all have some sort of body issues and that's why he won't get naked but honestly I wrote this in the hopes someoen would give me an idea or something that maybe I haven't thought of. We are working on meeting in the middle, we've been togther for three years and besides the sex issues we are good together. but sometimes like now it's been two months, but i've seen on his phone he's looked at porn and i dont' care if he looks at porn but i care when we havent' sex in two months but he's looking at porn it makes me feel like it's me. like okay he obviously wants sex just not with me and then in turns into a spiral of negative thoughts from there.