My girlfriend is cheating on me with her sister
Hi everyone,
I would like to have your opinion about my situation.
I have been dating a girl for a month now. She appeared to be one of the most loyal girl I have ever seen and she always says the truth.
But she doesn't care about other opinion, what dictionary say and basically she thinks that she is never faulty in what she does.
She has a sister who she considers her closest human being and she loves her. This seems perfectly normal.
But I recently discovered something.
An afternoon she visited her sister and they went by car to walk in a forest near town for a few hours.
When she came back to her apartment, I asked her what they have been doing, just by curiosity and make the conversation.
You remember about the truth? She told me the truth, she did not hide anything.
Her: We played with my sister
Me: What game did you play ?
She blushed and looked away so it got me more curious and anxious somehow, so I insited.
Me: What did you play with your sister ?
Her: We were lying against each other and she licked me.
Me: Where ?
Her: She licks me everywhere, my feet, my legs, my ass, my pussy. She is very kinky, I don't ask, she always does and when she asks me I let her lick me.
Me: Did you lick her too ?
Her: Yes.
The conversation went further and got me mad because it is like she finds it perfectly normal.
She thinks that what she does is not wrong and that she is not betraying me or doing me any harm.
She has been doing this for 4 years, so 4 years before we met and she does it a monthly basis. Her sister asks for it, she accepts.
Her opinion:
"It is not sex, it is just play"
"I am not cheating on you, this is not betrayal"
"She is my sister, she is my exception"
"You can fuck my sister if she wants, it will be play for you, but don't make her pregnant or I will kick you both from my life"
"Something is wrong in your mind, your are imaginating things like I don't have feeling or respect for you"
""You are a maniac of sex, because you refer about it as "sex" and not "play" ", [i]while she is the one going for more of it with someone else, and I don't do that, she does more sex than me but I'm the maniac.[/i]
"You keep blaming me"
My opinion:
"It is sex, as long as you have a physical interaction with someone in certain part of your body like the tongue in the pussy, it is considered as sex" [i]she answers that she doesn't care about dictionary definition because they're made by stupid people, so my opinion cannot be relevant, so it is not sex to her, but play.[/i]
"You are cheating on me, you are betraying me."
"If I was cheating on you, like making out with another girl and have that kind of physical interactions, you do be hurt and you would feel cheated on." [i]She answers that if I was going to other girls that would mean she doesn't satisfy me enough in bed.[/i]
"So I don't satisfy you enough then if you have this kind of relation with your sister, I'm not good enough for you in bed." [i]She says no, it is only play, you satisfy me enough, we are not having sex, again your conception is wrong.[/i]
"You don't know how much you are hurting me with this, in my country nobody does that, this is called incest, people consider it as a wrong thing, they almost forbid it and it is considered as cheating on." [i]to this answers "Why you feel hurtful, you should not, it is normal to me, she is my sister oO, we do this like "we play as play"."[/i]
"I am blaming you for a reason and you don't even understand you are doing something wrong for our relationship."
After such conversation I feel like I am discovering something new, that people usually do it and that I was not aware of it since I was born.
So please help me understand, people do that and I should let her do it?
How should I react ?
Would you consider her cheating on me ?
Do you consider this as "sex" or "play" ?
Would you consider it normal between sisters while still having a boyfriend ?
Would you feel hurt ?
Please tell me anything that is in your mind that could help me understand and accept this situation because she will not change.
While I have never actually heard of someone doing that kind of stuff with a sibling before...I would say, as long as they are both consenting adults, her view on sex is valid. But yours is too. You both have different views on sex and exclusivity and that's ok, it just means you're probably not a good match for each other.
I mean you can attempt to change your feelings toward the situation in order to make things all work out, but is it worth it? That's up to you to decide.
@Phthalo
Ty for your answer
But would you get hurt by this ? She will keep doing it she told me.
Would you accept such relation ?
@Luka88 I probably wouldn't want to be in any kind of romantic/sexual relationship anymore with that person, I mean I would probably end up losing all those feelings anyway after hearing that kind of mindset. But that's just me.
@Luka88
It doesn't matter how anyone else would react, how anyone else defines "sex", what's "normal", or that she's your girlfriend's sister (unless this is a special fantasy of yours, in which case I would ask you to take it elsewhere). You have your own feelings that are perfectly valid. You can try and analyse where they come from, and if you can discuss e.g. any worries you might have with your girlfriend. If that doesn't work, you might just not be compatible. Oh, and the "cheating" topic is something everyone has such different views on that I always recommend discussing it in detail with any partner early in the relationship (or even regularly), to prevent surprises such as this one.
I would consider this like "play", not "cheating"...
@passionateWatermelon38 Agree
She gave you the ok to "play" with her sister, so talk to her and see if she wants t oall play or just have you to her self.
Why are you complaining? Your girlfriend is letting you have her sister! The possibility of a threesome is clearly there as well.
Maybe you won't marry this girl, but before breaking up, enjoy her and her sister, for as long as it lasts. You'll regret not taking advantage of the situation a few years down the road.
Just enjoy this. My girlfriend has two hot sisters and I wish I'd be in your situation hahah!
It really sounds to me like you are bothered by this behavior. I'm looking at the way you describe it and what you posted about how you feel. I'm even looking at the title you put on it.
The thoughts that came to me don't address questions as to how normal it is or what you should do to address it with her or her sister, if at all.
What really strikes me, and I am echoing a little bit of what was mentioned from earlier posters, is that you know what's ok for you. I call that boundaries, you may name it something different.
Boundaries to me are the things that I am ok with living with and identifying and doing something about the things that I am not ok with. It's not about trying to control or change anyone else. It's about what I'm ok with and what I will do to keep myself safe (mentally, physically, emotionally) when I feel like someone else is not respecting my boundaries.
It seems like it would be really appropriate to write out boundaries you have for yourself and what you will do when someone isn't respecting your boundaries.
As an example, one of my boundaries is:
I am not comfortable with sexual jokes or disrespectful talk. If others around me engage in that type of conversation, I will ask them to change their conversation. If they choose not to, I will excuse myself and leave the area.
My boundary may have a slightly different action if I'm at work, for example, and am unable to leave the area. I can report discomfort to my manager to help the situation or, if behavior doesn't change, I can take official action.
What would be a boundary of yours in this relationship you have?
