Not sure how I can be turned on by this as a straight woman?
Hello,
I am a 29 year old woman who never questioned my sexual orientation in the sense that all my life so far when I am around men I have felt an attraction to them. With women, well, they just exist as friends ...basically I have never felt any intimate feelings for any woman I have ever met face to face in my life.
But yesterday I came across a viral video of a celebrity kissing her maybe new girlfriend and gyrating her hips on top of the girl on stage. I am not attracted to either women at all but I got turned on by what I saw in the video. This has left me confused if this makes me non straight? I know this must sound like a really "how old are you to be asking this" type of question lol but I really am confused how I was turned on by acts I am not remotely interested in engaging in and more particularly how I was turned on by people I am not attracted to at all. This wasnt a porn video and whilst it looked sensual, these were famous women so they had their clothes on.
Also I have never been intimate with a guy so I think alot of things are making me question the reaction I had to the video. The reason I have never been intimate with a guy is because I have alot of life long insecurities about my weight and appearance. It has got in the way of me accepting any dates. I am working through these issues but taking my time as I have spent a lot of my life being really hard on myself.
@indigoAcres8302
First off let me say No, this does NOT instantaneously make you homosexual. I have struggled with my own gender identity/preferences since I was very young. I still don't have it all figured out yet. Sometimes there's no clear explanation for why something randomly turns us on. I've had it happen.
One instance doesn't redefine your whole gender preference. I do know perfectly straight women, who do find other women attractive in a sexual way, but they will not act on it as it is not their preference. What I think I'm hearing from you is that you might be concerned that you are questioning your preferences? What was it about the exchange that you found attractive?
@wittyNest2941
Thanx. I was arused by the activity but felt no attraction to the celebrity women at all and then as soon as the arousal came it left when the video ended, how strange?
@indigoAcres8302
There is no need to be hard on yourself for any of the reasons you've stated. Many women express attraction, infatuation, and even have sex with other women which does not, in itself, change their sexual orientation. There are also women who have fantasies, thoughts, and dreams of various sexual or even simply sensual situations but that does not change their sexual orientation. You will likely go through life and find that you have fantasies, turn-ons, and desires that you never knew existed well into your senior years even. We never stop growing, learning, or developing which is how we're designed.
There isn't a need to stress over what you think about and society is very quick to tell you what is right and what isn't or how things should be thought of or handled. It's your life, your body, your mind and there is a whole world out there to explore. You'll find things you like. You'll find things you hate. You'll even find things that are just ok. You will not know unless you try.
That is just part of life... the fun part is learning new things about yourself, challenging yourself, and venturing into things that you never thought you'd do/think. As long as it isn't harmful to yourself or others, why not?
Live your life free from the judgment of others as there is no way to fully satisfy everyone's opinion (nor a shortage of people telling you how to think, act, and do) and you should consider living your life for you.
Try to quell even your own fears. Every day, try to explore something new and interesting.
@Sventek
What a thoughtfu reply, thanx!
Can I ask more so out of curioisity but do you know at what pointone's sexual orientation changes? Like you said some women can think about stuff or even experiment but is there a point where one just knows they are bisexual?
@indigoAcres8302
Your words are my life! I've never been comfortable with sex. Any aspect, conversation, movie sex scenes with others cause me anxiety. I have recently been turned on by thinking about women. Being I'm "innocent" I do not know what has brought this on, but it has intensified. So many questions???? Feeling confused.
@indigoAcres8302
You will hear MANY arguments about this because at this stage - no one really knows the true/correct answer. There are nature/nurture arguments, genetics discussions, and more often than not pure speculation that are chock full of simple coincidences and non-scientific data.
The complicated answer is that every person male or female views their own sexuality and how they associate and present that information to the world very differently. There are people that are in long term relationships and at some point, decide they want to live a gay lifestyle – ending their relationship and switching teams. There are people who feel that loving someone shouldnt take gender into consideration. There are also people who live a polyamorous lifestyle – loving more than one person at a time. Likewise, there are people who are strongly monogamous. There are men and women who are bi-sexual, some only dabble or experiment out of curiosity and some stay the course throughout their life identifying themselves as such. Those that swing back to being monogamous and only experimented typically do not consider themselves bi-sexual any longer, considering their experimentation as just a phase they were going through – typically younger years but it does happen to adults too.
Whatever shaped your sexuality, may or may not be able to be identified. In some cases, it just is. This frustrates a lot of people because they feel there must be a reason why and they will often exhaustively search for a reason or meaning behind their desires, lusts, wants, and yes – sexuality. You may find an answer as to why your attractions are leaning a particular way. Just be careful of happy coincidences making it seem that the situation is a certain way simply because of a specific reason or set of reasons. Sexuality is not always black and white aka straight forward. There are many twists and turns to it and that is actually what makes it so interesting and exciting. There are limitless options for people to explore.
As is with you..
