first time sex questions
Im a 23 yr old girl just did it for the first time-was waiting for the right guy. it did not go all the way thorugh (more than a half of the penis went in but got stuck in a place hard to pass). I checked for vaginismus a year ago- doc said everything's fine. I'm not sure if we passed the barrier at the end cause things got really fast, and after that I bled quit alot, with tissue that seem to come out as well.
is it normal that it gets stuck moving all the way through the first time? is it a matter of practice and time or should I go check it?
thanks
me again! another question. he came inside me while wearing a condom. is this risky or safe? I'm supposed to get my period anyday now, anyway
@communicativeCake175
You're fine. It does sound like he broke the hymen and if you were not fully lubricated, which is likely if you were feeling nervous, and you were feeling tense, your vagina will be tense too so it can be hard to get it in first time. It's all normal. If the condom was in tact afterwards, then you're fine. Condoms are very efficient so no need to worry unless it's ripped afterwards but condoms have never failed in my experience, though you shouldn't rely on them entirely. If you're going to start having sex regularly then you still need to look into some birth control for yourself.
@SilentSerenityy
Agree - condoms are a must but, having a second layer of birth control such as the pill is a brilliant move. You should also look into emergency contraceptives just in case. If you start taking birth control, it can take time to begin working effectively so continue using condoms.
What condoms also provide is some protection against STDs. While you're sexually active, it's best to use a multi-layer approach to prevention and birth control. Having a child is not the only thing you're trying to protect yourself from because there are also diseases and you cannot tell just by looking at someone if they are clean.
Have sex, but be smart about it.
So Im away with my friends on holiday and last night I met this guy and we chatted for ages and got on really well with me and my guy friends who were being protective of me making sure he was ok. I had had had a lot to drink and was quite drunk. Then we all went to a nightclub where we danced and I ended up making out with this guy for a while. Then things escalated, he asked me to go back with him and I did. When we were at his place he couldnt find a condom so said it was fine and we didnt have to have sex and I agreed. So he started doing stuff to me which was fine (consensual) but then he put his penis next to my vagina and asked if it was okay and I agreed (which if sober I probably wouldnt have because I am very against unprotected sex) and he tried to put it in but it wouldnt go (aka it was too big or I was too tight) and it really hurt (my first time) and so he tried a different angle briefly but it didnt work at all so he said he didnt want to hurt me and we stopped. Then I did stuff to him and that was the end of it. Even though I know it was so brief and he was probably only in me less than a minute even Im scared and need reassurance. Do you think I need the morning after pill? I know its probably unlikely but I would really appreciate some advice. (Im 17 btw).
@kindNickel8925
Hi there. It's ok to be quite scared, since you don't want to take any risks and as you both were drunk, it's not easy to take the best decisions in this situation.
If you're scared, I'd say : let's get you reassured, right ? So maybe that would mean for you to go to the Planned Parenthood organization, or to a doctor, to ask for a STD check up : contact between your genitals, even if it's just the tip of the penis with the entrance of your vagina is at risk (even it's it kinda low) for STDs, so that's something that could be checked up to be sure you don't have any (except if it was the first time for both of you, in that case it should be ok). Planned Parenthood can give you an emergency pill too (I mean, they give it in France, I guess it's the same in other countries).
Even if the risk of pregnancy is very small, it's not impossible (the pre-cum countains small amounts of spermatozoids), so you can take the emergency pill (it's not always a "day after", some are efficient until 5 days.. but the soonest it's taken, the best chance it has to work).
And after 2 weeks (not before, you need at least 10 days for the test to be able to find a sign of pregnancy), you can take a pregnancy test, just to be sure and reassure you :)
It's very responsible from you to think about that, and you're doing what you can to be sure you're ok, so I hope my answer can reassure you a bit. You're not alone, it happens to lots of people and you're already taking care of things :).
If the situation doesn't satisfy you though, this experience is a way to learn how to know yourself better and what are your needs and what you can do to avoid as best as possible those situations.
Take care :)