im scared to tell people
Honestly, you don't need to tell anyone. Typically that kind of thing isn't brought up into regular conversation. It's totally fine if you're into it! But normally that kinda stuff stays in the bed roon
@Stellaxoxo
I agree with Stella. You don't have to tell people because it's not a common conversation to bring up.
RGLRGUY: Gee, the Royals are doing pretty swell. Think I ate twenty hot dogs at the game. How many did you eat?
BDSMLVR: Oh, like elev-
RGLRGUY: So, my wife was spanking me really hard last night and...
That doesn't happen that often. Unless you're me. Then It's daily.
But sometimes the conversation comes up. 'Hey, did you see that fetish scene on X TV show last night?' 'Hey, look what they were selling at the mall. Is this one of those things?' Because of your forthcoming-ness I get the impression that you want to let people in on your lifestyle. There's nothing wrong with this. This is how you connect with people, and doubly so, how you make connections with other people in the "lifestyle."
From those connections you get invites to fun "munches" and retreats. Have you considered going to a dungeon with a close friend, to check out the "scene?" There's a website called Fetlife. It's the Facebook for the BDSM community. There you can find groups in your area, can sign up for events, and even just passively search through users and find a kink-friendly buddy. It's usually easier to talk to others about the lifestyle when they're part of the scene.
If you mean you're afraid to tell friends or family, that's fine. As Stella said, that sort of thing generally doesn't come up in regular conversation anyway, so you don't have to bring it up if you don't want to.
If you mean in dating, or you feel a lot of internal pressure to come out to other people.. you can tackle the dating problem partly by joining a site like Fetlife, where everyone else is also into BDSM. In regular dating, it's just one more variable that you and the other person may or may not match on. The publication of 50 Shades has made bringing up the subject a lot easier.
Finally, you may want to look at the "Are you out?" thread in this forum to see our own experiences in being out, and see whether the reactions we describe match your fears.
I'm scared to tell people that I have ICDbecause people already call me a freak anyway
Your sexual preferences and needs are your personal interests, and no one else has to know unless you feel you want to share them. Being into BDSM is as normal as liking missionary position over cowboy style. No ones business but yours.
Being interested in BDSM is your choice and your business. If you are worried because you are now in a relationship and do not know how to tell your partner, I would honestly come forth and tell them your preference when it comes to sexual desires. There is no shame in it. If you enjoy it, that is your decsion.
It's great to do that... to come forth and say what the desires are, but some people find BDSM very dubious. If your partner is less open minded about stuff, it could potentially cause a problem. In a perfect relationship, we can always be honest about everything. But most of us aren't perfect, and neither are our relationships. So coming right out is indeed one option... another is to talk about it more indirectly and gauge the reaction. If your partner is really put off by it, you'll find out.
I'm bi..I don't know how to tell my family
I am the same but it is fine if it is wot u are into
Is there any 1 that I can talk to about my fetish I'm in a rut help
@jayjay27 Hi you can chat to me about it if you like.... @mikemadrid is my handle.
I know it is hard...struggling at times too because it is a taboo to many..
BDSM isnt just a bedroom thing im into BDSM and im owned i live it real life as for how to tell someone and feeling scared to do so its up to you when you feel ready to tell them ive only been able to vcome out and say im owned on here and my mum was told before she came ill but i darent tell anyone else it is just like any relationship really just instead of babe or hunny it is either Miss , Sir or Master Mistress instead etc
i obey my Master by doing daily journals on fetlife so he can read how im feeling in that day , he comforts me , protects me , gives me daily tasks to do assignments etc
@blissfulParadise86
I did write my feelings there on fet as well..i find writing helps a lot,but i didnt add Sir there..my relationship is very different..thanks for sharing.
@OnceLostButWillBeFound your welcome not all are the same but for those truly in BDSM they actually have a D/S relationship
