Do we get back together ?
Okay hi, i don’t really know how to start these things out. This guy and i have been on and off for almost two years. When i say he knows everything about me i mean it. He’s the only guy i’ve felt comfortable with and the only guy i really saw myself going far with. Our first couple of break ups were over dumb things, he spent way too much time on his games, and i mean way too much time. I understood that we all need time to ourselves and with our friends, but it was constant and for hours. One time i remember i was crying because the amount of pain i was in from my period. and he told me to take some medicine and stayed on his game. i asked him multiple times to just come lay with me and his response was always “after this round” i ended up sleeping on the couch, alone. but i understand that in that situation i was just being dramatic and overly sensitive. Our last reasoning for breaking up was because i felt like i couldn’t trust him anymore. it wasnt something he did like cheating, (even tho there’s been multiple situations where i thought he was) but he used my own family problems against me during arguments. he had never done it before so listening him beat me down about things i had no control of really hurt me. I don’t know what to do because i miss him so much. i don’t want to be with anyone else, i’ve tired and i just couldn’t do it. i don’t know what to do please help.
@mythskirt
From the examples you've given, it sounds like the relationship wasn't meeting your needs in several ways.
It was reasonable to expect some comfort, understanding and compassion when you were in pain. It is also reasonable to expect some boundaries in regards to the time, energy and attention given to friends during activities that exclude you.
The answer to your question I guess very much depends on whether you think it's likely this person and this relationship might ever get to where you need it to be in terms of you feeling safe, respected and loved. Every relationship has it's good and not so good bits, but with genuine intention and effort from both sides, it's possible to make it work.
You know him well enough in the 2 years. Do you think he would put in genuine effort to make this better for you? Does he understand and acknowledge the hurt he's caused you?
It can be hard to leave someone you feel emotionally dependent on. We have a few self help guides which discuss coping mechanism and methods to help. We also have one about boundaries that discusses how to create and maintain healthy boundaries within relationships. I'll share them here in case you'd like to have a look sometime
https://www.7cups.com/boundaries/
https://www.7cups.com/breakup-advice/
https://www.7cups.com/help-managing-emotions/
https://www.7cups.com/getting-unstuck/
Whether you choose to get back with him or not, you are a complete individual on your own - and you deserve to be happy regardless of relationship status.
Much strength to you.