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Long term wife showing disrespect to husband

User Profile: Spoolofwire987
Spoolofwire987 February 19th, 2025

This week, my wife of 30yrs announces she is going through with updating her wedding ring. Last night she announces she went and picked out new ring. It will be skinnier, and covered on sides with small diamonds, and larger stone from current ring to be included on top of setting. Total cost, $2700! 

I said good, I'm glad your happy. ( I just want her to happy). I did mention we should let our home owners insurance know about it, maje sure it's now covered. I. Outdoor tell she never thought of that. 

We go about our evening watching TV, scrolling our phones. She then seems on edge. I ask what's going on? She states she's nervous and it's my fault. Whaa? I reminder I was fine with the ring had no comment on the cost, how is it my fault your nervous? She says cause you usually get mad over such things, I'm making her nervous. I reminded her I truely was glad she got the ring she wanted, said nothing about cost. Then I had enough of her ***. I said your being a real *** for treating me this way. Mind you I forgot about it, and was watching g TV because I was genuinely fine with it. 

Am I the ***? 

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User Profile: Aayla
Aayla February 19th, 2025
@Spoolofwire987 so she was nervous and you lashed out like that, throwing out swear words when she pointed out that you sometimes make her nervous, instead of asking her why she feels this way? Have you thought that maybe she has a point?
It's not normal to be on the edge and scared about your partner's reaction, so if she was, there must have been something that made her feel afraid of your reactions. This episode alone is quite a red flag. 
2 replies
User Profile: Spoolofwire987
Spoolofwire987 OP February 19th, 2025

@Aayla you make no sense.

1 reply
User Profile: Aayla
Aayla February 20th, 2025
@Spoolofwire987 why? 
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User Profile: toughTiger6481
toughTiger6481 February 20th, 2025

@Spoolofwire987

Perhaps she was expecting a big reaction and when you were fine with it it made her on edge because she thought the discussion was going to go another way. 

If i expect my partner to push back on a price of what we are purchasing and they say " OK " i am a bit caught off guard but to say that was on you is silly IMO.

User Profile: dukeofdearham
dukeofdearham February 20th, 2025

@Spoolofwire987,

it might not be about the ring at all. She might just be seeking attention and affection. Ever thought about that?