Narcississtic parenting or Spiritual parenting?
*Racist alert*
I'm a 25year old Malaysian Chinese and I have a same-aged boyfriend whom is an Indonesian Chinese, we met online as friends since June last year and somehow ended up deciding to be together this year despite not meeting in person yet (I know this is crazy but it just happened unexpectedly.. I had no issues with it tho as we have been seeing each other through vid calls and all) My family is the conservative type of Christian family and when my mum knew about this she flipped so badly and was like "Why r u not waiting for God's will?", "Since when u become so low standard? How can u even fall in love wif a guy like this?", "You want ur kids to be dark and have Indo citizen??", "I would rather u being single than to be with him!".... Yes I indeed was upset thinking that her statements r so racist and all.. she denied and said that she din look down on him as a person bt the system in Indo, and she's nt the only one to look downnon the system bt the whole world in general... (Yes she said all these and they're unforgettable...) One time I nearly gt disowned by her and got chased out of the house bcuz I attempted to keep in contact wif him.. altho she did tell me that if it's God's will no matter how long we're separared we will still cme back together agn.. bt I worry when the time comes she will change her story or "forgets" what she said.. I do understand honoring them is a necessity bt I wonder if this is the kind of parenting God wants...
I'm so sorry you're going through this... Respect should go both ways. Treating you like this for simply loving who you love is wrong. I am not a religious person, but I believe that any God who loves humanity would never want a parent to be so cruel to their children just for loving. Not everyone who claims to do God's will is actually doing God's will. It takes more than words to be a good Christian: it takes actions of love, acceptance, respect, empathy, which are supposed to be the core values of Christianity. What your mother did is the exact contrary. It seems to me that she has a distorted vision of what God wants.
What I know for sure is that love should never be repressed. Your mother's actions, her racism, they are surely an obstacle, but it doesn't have to be the end of your love. I hope you can find other ways to keep in contact with him, maybe deleting your Internet history after contacting him and leaving only the unsuspicious Internet searchs, or asking for a friend's help to have a chance to contact him somewhere else... You're in love, and you are doing nothing wrong, and intolerance should never win over love. I wish for you to find the best way to deal with this! Stay strong and never doubt yourself!
