Not sure what the right thing to do would be
Decided to share this hoping for some advice. I'll delete it if it breaks any rule.
Please read with an open mind. I don't want any comment regarding religion (I don't mean to be rude, but comments about religion often lead to fights about religion so I'd rather not take any chances of fights in this thread).
So, I've been with someone for 4 years. I never liked him, but he was always nice to me, so when he asked me out I didn't want to hurt him by refusing. After 2 years of dating, he went abroad, but insisted that we stay togheter as a long distance relationship. After a while I eventually I told him I prefered girls, and he proposed to open the relationship, so both of us can date someone else while still being togheter. After thinking more about it, I asked myself "Who in their right mind would accept something like this?". He's been as supportive as he could in this relationship, so I don't have the heart to break up with him. But I know I can't be truly happy with someone who only I only see for a few weeks every year and whose appearence is repulsive to me. Am I just hoping for too much and should I stick with what I have? Should I keep hoping to find someone that would agree to our terms? Should I break up and hope to find someone who I can build a life with?
P.S. I never plan to get married or have any children, regardless of what gender my partner will be (just thought I'd get that out of the question.)
@Leyel I don't think you're hoping for too much. Ultimately what you do depends on your level of comfort and your feelings, but my outsider perspective is that it doesn't do to settle with someone out of fear of being alone or fear of not being able to find a relationship which is more suited to you. Would you rather be with someone and unhappy rather than alone (where you potentially have more opportunities to meet someone else)? There is no judgment no matter what your answer is, but you've got to decide what feels right to you. An open relationship is an idea and is probably more common than you think, but still - if you're unhappy with this person to begin with, would you want to be in an even more complex situation like this with him? Food for thought... All the best to you. xoxo
@CompassionateGirl90 Very good food for thought! Well said!
@Ladybug11 Thank you! :-)
@Leyel
Deep down, you already know the answers to the questions you've posed within your post. What will it take for you to actually take action? You can delay taking action on this situation... but, the longer this drags on... the more conflicted you will likely feel about it. No sense stringing him along either. It seems you'd likely be better off making a few relationship decisions in your life. To get started, ask yourself if you'd like to be in this exact situation by this time next year. If the answer is no, then... make the hard choices to change it. Forget hurting feelings and do what is right.
