Online dating
Hello 7cups :) I have gotten out of a long-term relationship last year and since then I've been trying online dating. However my luck in these apps seems to be really bad. No messages, no interesting conversations, no responses... During these difficult times and all restrictions is hard to meet people "in real life" so I don't see other alternatives than using dating apps. However, as I explained before, I'm not having a nice "online dating" experience and this is affecting my self steem. I blame the way I look that guys don't find my pictures attractive enough to initiate a conversation. I get fed up of the apps, delete them but a couple of days later, I start using them again. It's kind of like an addiction but with no positive rewards. How are your experiences with dating apps? Thanks for reading :)
@brightPlum9077 Dating during a pandemic. Best of luck! I hope some others have good ideas as to how to make online dating apps more successful!
I had never used dating apps. I was similar and got out of a long term relationship and decided to try out Tinder just to meet new people. I always had a bad association with Tinder and thought it was dodgy or gross. But my experience was that there is a lot of "crap" on there. You definitely have to cull through a lot of this before coming across "normal" people. I met and chatted to a handful and actually ended up meeting my now current bf. I would say sadly that Tinder is unfortunately very physical appearance based sadly. So it does more than often require initial attraction/curiousty for them to initiate anything. Maybe try more indepth online dating sites where you are required to fill out a lot more information about yourself and who you are beyond looks. I've never done website dating but I think maybe people on there are more open to interacting because they know about you and not just heading on a few photos. It may or may not be better than the apps but with a shot. You are beautiful the way you are, trust and believe in that :)
@mk1990
It's great that you decided to open up and communicate
Dating sites can be pretty complex and sometimes exhausting
I can imagine how hard it must be for you
But remember we are with you through this journey and always there to support you
Much love ❤️
o@brightPlum9077 online dating can be hard it's tough but you have to keep trying I use bumble and talking to a few guys and for the time being, it's going quite well maybe try that site since the woman can make The first move Good luck you got this
.
Sorry....i know....but i thought i could help her out
@littleSummer1017 I understand but it urkes me when people miss using this site
Im sorry...i m really sorry
@littleSummer1017 Just be safe have a good rest of your day
I have done online dating and it is one of those things where you will hit dry spells, but if you stick with it, you can find some really rewarding relationships. Sometimes, the way an app’s algorithm may work, you may be seeing matches that haven’t seen you in their matches yet. You can like a profile, but they won’t know you did until they see you in their queue. Often times, women have more luck initiating conversations with men, rather than waiting for a man to message them. This is what I’ve noticed, anyways. For every match that you get along with, you will probably meet a few dozen who you don’t. I would recommend focusing on one app, maybe two. You may also want to think about what you want from a dating app. Some apps are more for hook ups, whereas others are for people seeking long-term relationships. Dating is hard, but genuinely speaking, none of what you are experiencing is any reflection on you. I know it’s hard sometimes to not beat yourself up about that, but keep your head up!
@brightPlum9077
Thank you for being so open about what you’re going through. It sounds really exhausting and discouraging. The cycle of downloading apps, getting your hopes up, and then trying again is something so many people can relate to, especially when other ways of meeting people feel out of reach. It makes total sense that this would start to impact your self-esteem, especially when you’re putting yourself out there and aren’t seeing the kind of response you hoped for. What do you think keeps drawing you back to the apps, even when they leave you feeling this way?
@brightPlum9077
Dating apps can feel overwhelming, especially when you put yourself out there and don't receive much in return. That cycle of deleting and reinstalling the apps? Super normal. A lot of people go through that same loop (hope, disappointment, repeat)
It makes sense that your self-esteem is taking a hit. It’s common to start questioning your appearance or worth when you are not getting responses, but dating apps are not a reflection of someone’s value. Algorithms and superficial swiping can play a bigger role than we like to think. It doesn’t mean you’re not attractive or interesting; it just means the platform is not giving you a fair shot to be seen fully. Give yourself room to heal and reconnect with your worth, apart from any validation on a screen.
@SandraG33
You make some great points. Often times people have wildly different experiences on dating apps due to their location. For example, someone in New York City will have a different experience from someone in a rural town. Their lack of "success" on the rural dating app does not diminish their self worth.
@brightPlum9077
Thank you for being honest and open about your experience. It sounds agonizing and even discouraging. It makes sense to me, that it affects your confidence and self esteem in a negative way. If I may ask; What do you think takes you back into the online dating space, given how you feel after?