Please I just need help.

@Gabrielb1996

a healthy relation must have 3 Attribute:

1)Be Your advantage

2)No harm to anyone

3)Based on real life

@Gabrielb1996

you know reverge isnt true always but forgivig isnt the best way always

@Gabrielb1996

you say you really love her ? but it is not real love cause i think you dont love your self ? how you can give love to others when you cant love your self even? you just say what you want to them but they are sure that you wont do that .i dont know the whole story but cheating is cheating and there is no forgiveness for it

@Gabrielb1996

you say you just need help but we cant help you if you dont care about your life .do you know what you should do when no one looking after you? you should look after from your self .i mean why you forget your self ? you are as important as her .you didnt do anything wrong but you are sad and she is happy.control your self please

@Gabrielb1996

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

So I married her but she was not the person I thought she was. During the 3 years period she cheated on me 7 times, (This must had caused you a lot of hurt and pain, it wasn't okay what she did here. This means she isn't thinking about how this impacts you, and only caring about how she feels) she made me go through hell and depression, and she was abusing me mentally. (This is unacceptable behavior coming from her after all you have done for her. Your mental health and self esteem will get hurt because of the way she is treating you. It's a bad idea to stay with a woman like this who isn't treating you properly) now I want to divorce but her mom and her are begging me not to do it because if I do she might be in trouble and will probably never have her paper to be able to stay here permanently. (Her mom is only caring about her daughter feels without taking into account how her daughter is treating you. It's so important to make a decision whats best for you because she ruined all of her chances of being with you) So I really don't know what to do. (You want to divorce her which is the right thing to do at this moment she has showned you the kind of person she is. I understand you feel bad because her mom is begging you, but you also have to think about yourself and putting yourself first. Respecting and valuing yourself are number one right now, even if she gets her paper or not)

@Gabrielb1996

Your life is precious and wasting on someone who doesn't even care is absolutely wrong

Hi Gabriel,

I am so sorry about the kind of pain that you are experiencing right now. This is an absolutely devastating situation to be in.

Listeners here on 7 Cups are not really able to give advice because it's in our training to be as neutral and objective as possible with Members. I'm going to go a bit against my training tonight because sadly, I was in a very similar situation to you, and I don't want you to feel like you are alone.

When I found out that my husband was cheating on me, it took me about a week to compose myself. I felt like I was in the deepest, darkest hole I could possibly exist in. It took some time, but when I finally realized that the Love that I was giving this other person was not being reciprocated, I understood that divorce was the only answer.

He and his family attacked me in every sense of the word, and I endured it because I realized that they thought I owed them something. I didn't. The only thing I owed my husband, and that he owed me, was mutual love and respect. Turns out, he wasn't really interested in giving me that.

What he was interested in was getting his Green Card, leaving me after we hit the 5 year mark (at that point, they can apply to be a U.S. Citizen, and then divorce their partner), and then bring his entire family to the U.S. from his home country.

Right now, in this situation, it seems like the only person who is interested in taking care of your heart and your well-being is you. And that is unfortunate. Your wife's family will probably beg you to stay married to her, so that she can request them to move to the U.S. when she becomes a U.S. citizen.

If there is any advice I can give you, and I apologize for being bold right now, but I really feel the need to protect you:

1) Do NOT have any further sexual relations with your wife (if you still are). It is very likely that she will attempt to become pregnant, and claim that the child is yours in order to force paternity on you. If you are not having sexual relations with her and she does get pregnant, DO NOT sign the birth certificate, and IMMEDIATELY request a paternity test at the hospital. Mothers constantly do this to partners who are not birth fathers and deplete them of funds for 18-22 years after a child is born.

2) If you both are co-inhabiting, request that she moves out ASAP. The more time you two spend together, the more of an opportunity she has to gaslight you into staying with her and extending the emotional torment and pain that you are living.

3) Save all texts, emails, voicemails, anything you can get your hands on that has her admitting that she has cheated on you. If you have pictures, all the better. Anything you can, no matter how painful it is, save it. Be prepared for her to potentially claim that you are physically abusing her. She may cut or punch herself and give self-inflicted wounds in order to go to the hospital / ER and report you as abusive. You will NEED to protect yourself if any of this occurs.

4) Your college may have a pay-per-year access program to legal help. It's typically between $40 - $65 a year, and you have access to attorney advice on campus. Find that program, and ask them how to quickly proceed with a divorce.

My divorce was 100% free, paid for and done by my ex-husband, because I refused to co-operate with furthering his Green Card process. He thought he could continue it on his own after we divorced (this is incorrect).

I know all of this might sound scary, so please send me a direct / private message if you'd like to speak more about this matter. I was 23 when I got married, and it was one of the biggest mistakes of my Life. The worst part was that I was actually in love. As in, 100% fully devoted, hook, line, and sinker. Maybe it's because I'm Hispanic? lol Latin love is intoxicating. But, everything that I described here is part of the nightmare that I lived. I have vowed to never let anyone else go through something this vile and despicable, so please, please reach out again if you need help. You are not alone. You can move past this. We are here for you.

this sounds really hard and i can't imagine but think it is great that you are seeking support. i feel for you. you are young. so is she. well since you have already taken the leap i guess all you can do is try and take it easy and just see if you can work things out over time.

@Gabrielb1996 Try to talk to her. Understand her side of the story. I understand you want what's best for her... but it's not best for you. Perhaps move out of the house, but don't divorce. Is there a law against that? You could be "Married" But not live anywhere near them.