can your feelings change back and forth ?

You need to be honest, yes. Maybe he is also struggling. But if you want to try, I would HIGHLY recommend couples therapy. You will either work out your unresolved feelings or confirm you want to seperate. It's hard, I know the feeling.

I think they can. Wait, no, feelings can’t change.

…. Actually i feel that feelings can change, but sometimes can’t. Usually yes but sometimes not yes.

Okay, I thought about it some more and I feel that feelings you feel that havn’t changed CAN change and changed feelings can stay the same before feelings change again into different feelings.

I hope that clears things up.

Wow. Similar situation here. I feel like I am constantly starving for affection. I turn off and say 'ok, this is my life' and they he'll show affection and I lap it up like a starving puppy. Then I feel desperate and stupid and it's a whole cycle. He was never overly romantic, and I was fine with that, but I used to still write notes and stick them in his car or suitcase, but when the physical affection stopped I pulled back on all of that.

I guess the question you need to ask yourself is, despite how you feel now, do you even WANT to make it work? Yes, I believe feelings can change, as mine have. If you WANT to get back what you had (or create something new together), maybe see if he's willing to go to couples counseling. I mentioned it to my husband and he didn't want to because 'he didn't need it.' I'm at a place in my marriage where I pretty much feel like I don't deserve true happiness because of issues I've caused in the past. (I know, logically that is not accurate, but I fell like I am destined to live in a limbo of sorts. I just would never wish this on anyone else).

If you feel like you want to fix what's broken, talk to him. You have to decide what's best for you and how you want your future to be. 💜

I have to say yes. I’ve been with people who I thought were everything at the beginning…butterflies in the stomach, tingling all over electricity in our kisses and then just like someone pulled the plug and it died. I think it can be a buildup of stuff you didn’t like or see as partner quality. For one I was with someone who wasn’t in a financial place to pay for anything. We were teens but his parents left him to his aunt to take care of and because he didn’t follow their college plan for him he didn’t get an allowance anymore. I wasn’t working but had full parental support so obviously if we went out to eat I paid and it would be awkward if I just ate by myself. So after a while that just built up inside of me and I just saw him as unattractive I think physically and mentally. One time I lent him money and he said he accidentally threw the change away with the receipt. That got under my skin. Things like that seem to be what cause me to lose the interest. With a current partner not too long in I saw him sloppy drunk unable to take care of himself and it was a major turnoff. I had already invested a lot quickly into the relationship so I didn’t call it quits or take any distance from him. I look back and see those as dealbreaker qualities. I ask myself if I loved him would I really feel that it’s a dealbreaker but I don’t know the answer.

so long story short from my personal experiences yes feelings can change usually as you get to know the person and see they weren’t all you thought they were or cracked up to be. You mentioned anger and stuff and unresolved issues. I’d say that has a lot to do with it because like I said maybe not seeing him as you did before. It hurts me to think that the person I’m with sees me in a more glorified and loving light than I see them. It hurts to hurt someone. Is that why you want to save it or because of all you invested in it? Couples therapy which someone said, I’ve never done myself yet but I second that it’s worth a shot and if anything it will guide you all through the steps you need to take to help the relationship either prosper or “uncouple” . Does he know where your feelings stand?