unfaithful bf?
Well we’ve been together coming up to 9 months and we’ve had our ups and downs but we’ve gotten through it. We had one particular time where he’d set up boundaries about social media and then a few months later I had found out he had been breaking them and I confronted him. In the end it was sorted and we’d been fine after that. But anyways skip ahead to about 2 weeks ago, we had a very stale period in our relationship because of a few factors such as something he’d done that upset me and also mental health and we decided to try make it work out again.
Skip ahead again to 3 days ago, We’re in bed and he’s on sn@p and he has his phone in full view so i just watched him reply to all his friends except one girl who I had never seen or heard mentioned ever. He was very careful and made sure he didn’t open it at all which is important. This was very weird but I didn’t think about it way too much much and decided to brush it off. I go to the bathroom and walk back in and as i’m walking in he puts his phone down very quickly, i took no notice if it until about 30 minutes later when he picked it back up again.
I’d noticed something a bit strange. The girls message was now more recent than some of the people he had replied to while I was near him meaning that while I was in the bathroom out of view of the screen, he replied to her. Yet again he replied to everyone except her message when I was back next to him. I then realised there’s something extra going on.
I go home later and I then get curious because he’d never ever mentioned her and we are very open about friends and I had also never seen her name anywhere last month meaning this would’ve been someone he might’ve met recently (remember how we had our difficult period about 3 weeks ago for 2 weeks).
I look at her profile and he’s following her but none of his friends from school or from sports follow her so it definitely wasn’t something that’s recently come about. But one thing I noticed is a distant mutual of mine followed her so I texted him explaining the situation and he was happy to just check if he had been interacting with her publicly. Low and behold, he had liked all of her posts (THIS WAS THE BOUNDARY HE HAD SET 9 MONTHS AGO) and this just made me sick…
Because her account is private and I don’t follow her, he is super comfortable lying to me about keeping up with the boundaries and the apology, and he is also being very sneak.
Im not overly confrontational but I think I might have to just talk to him about it straight up to get an answer.
Im not sure if i’m overreacting or anything!
I don’t think you’re over reacting!
if he set them rules then he should be sticking to them!
Ask him about it. Talking is probaly the best option!
Hope it goes well!
We women have strong instincts . We can feel it even we don't know and think about it yet. Trust your instincts it will never be wrong. Talk to him but not in a way like he's getting attacked most of the men who hides and doing something wrong behind our back are very defensive and they will feel that we're attacking them .
So ask him and clear things out with him and watch how he responds because even if he lied about his answers you can tell if he's really telling the truth or not.
I've been there but I always speaks what's in my mind and I follow my instincts . But he gets defensive and always shutting me down and avoiding me whenever I open it up and he's trying to shift the blame and situations like I'm the problem and I'm just overreacting .
But after I questioned myself and make myself believe that maybe I'm just overreacting and wrong then truth comes out and I'm right that I'm not just being delusional there's really something wrong and he's really doing something bad behind my back .
So I hope you get your answers. Men do such things whenever we get problems with our relationships and they like getting comfort with others
Your feelings are 100% valid. You’ve put effort into rebuilding the relationship, so noticing him act secretively and go against the boundaries HE set would be upsetting for anyone. Your feelings make complete sense. You’re not overreacting, in fact, your gut is picking up on something, and it’s okay to want clarity. If you feel ready to talk to him, you deserve honesty and a real conversation.