I still love my narcissistic ex

@quickwittedSpruce6796 @quickwittedSpruce6796 I am so sorry, truly that this is happening to you. I purposely came back to answer your question, I did not even read or see the title about narcisstic until now.

I know exactly how this feels. I am a bit older than you but it does not matter, it still hurts when this happens. I had no idea he was like this. He targeted me, and yes, he started fliring with another woman. I am sorry someone has or had control over you like this, it's very hurtful but you must realize how this is harming you. It seems like not a big deal but this caught me completely off guard. I did not realize someone could harm me like this. It all started out casual, and before I knew it he wanted more. It was all very controlling from the start.

As an older woman, I am advising you to stay away, go away, I know how hard this is. It's the last thing I wanted was for someone to control me but they partly succeeded. Thinking about it only makes me obsess even more about how wrong this is and how I didn't deserve it or seeking retribution. But honestly I really do think it's their insecurity now just ours or mine. I do believe he has targeted me even if he didn't think or realize it himself, but I am not justifying this.

I just came back here as I had the time. I hope I will inot have the time to think about this any longer.

There is honestly so much that is wrong with him that I can't even begin to tell you everything. Just know that he disrespected and violated my boundaries from the start. This is a matter of character, unfortunately it's not something that can be easily erased or modified in a person usually

I am so sorry for all the typos in my message, I just didnt have the time to review it and hate making mistakes

So sorry this is such a difficult time break ups being a whole other level of stress … 🤗!

What kinds of things do you like for self care? It’s important to look after you during this time … do what works for you.

There is often a period of time and it is different for everyone to accept and move on from relationships. It sounds like you weren’t done with this relationship it is still in your mind space and heart.

Take care of yourself … 💕

Cheri

@quickwittedSpruce6796
I am sorry you are going through this. Often times the best thing to do is to cut contact, start working on yourself and let time heal you. In time you will forget him.

@quickwittedSpruce6796

It is okay to still love someone even if they have been cruel or if the relationship is over. Love is simply an emotion we feel and needs no logic. Perhaps, the person themselves don't even have anything to do with how you feel about them, because in your case, they have already caused you enough hurt to have made that love vanish long ago if love was to be a rational thought. We are able to love someone and still accept that we cannot have a healthy happy relationship with them. While love is an emotion, a relationship is a mutual decision we make to be with someone, usually with expectations involved on both sides.

From what you've shared, it sounds like the healing or closure from the relationship may need some more time and thought. Healing doesn't follow a formula or timeline. We all walk that path in our own way.

I hope you remember to be kind to yourself as you process everything and find your way back to being who you want to be.

Much strength to you.

@quickwittedSpruce6796 you're allowed to love parts of someone but not all of them. I once thought I had met my soul mate, but he was a drug addict and he wasn't loyal. I'm thankful for the good parts of him. How it felt like we already knew each other instantly. I truly think he was in love with me too, at least for a time. But I knew that I deserved someone who, like myself, doesn't abuse drugs, and treats others with loyalty and respect. There are many ways to love. You will find new ways to love new people. Thank the universe for the good parts of this relationship, but know that you deserve better even if you felt love for them. Don't let your self down and go back to him. Don't waste too much time wishing for a toxic relationship. Know your worth.