I've only told this too like two people. I need to get it out.

@Kyskid

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

One night we are cuddling on the bed, my brother had fallen asleep, he started by pulling me close to him and then he grabbed my hand and moved it to an area and things escalated pretty quickly at first I was really into it then I felt like I needed to. (In here I can tell you were liking this, but at the same time something inside you was telling you it wasn't right) But he wouldn't like me if I didn't, (I can see how difficult it was to go through this feelings. I do see you might seek to please on order to receive love and be liked. Theres a high chance you feel like saying "no" is either wrong or rejecting the other people) I wanted to impress him so I gave him head. (In here i can tell you didn't want to do this, but the need to feel validation and be loved was a driving force. This usually comes from feeling neglected, not liked and often abandoned while growing up) Eventually he moved in with us and one night he came home drunk answer to cuddling with me in my bed then he tried to get on top of me and I told him no and he started getting more pushy and more angry. (Its great you said no. I can tell this guy was the controlling type who wanted things his way) Eventually I had to threaten him with yelling for my dad, and he left.It was one of the scariest moments of my life. (Its understandable, it was a very traumatic event) After he got kicked out for unrelated reasons. Fast forward to my sophomore year, I went to prom with some friends and my older brother, I met a boy there, he was a senior and I thought he was cute so we danced and made out. Nothing too serious. We didn't talk until about 3 months after that. Then things started to get more serious, I wanted to be his girl and the only way I knew how. (One thing Im noticing here is that you ar attracted to guy who don't like closeness, often disappear and will more than likely hurt you. Be really careful who you date bcause we always risk heartbreak. Pay close attention to them, such as; Are they trying to get to know me as a person?, Are they consistent with me?, Are they more focus on connecting or in how i look?. They are people who are attractive, but it doesn't mean they will be able to attach and connect)

To do that was by giving him my body. (I can see this need to be loved, validated and accepted can be quite overwhelming, and for you it might feel like this might be the only way. Theres tons of unmet needs and starve from love on your part, so it might make you attract guys who will take advantage of this. Its important to take things very slow) He only talked to me when he was horny, at the time I didn't realize it. We would chat over snap and then slowly the conversation turned from shared interests like video games and music to what size my tits were and if he could see them. (This is a sign of a guy who might have some sort of addiction, and often will become more focus on how the other person looks) I thought it meant he liked me, is sent him the pictures. He was graduated from high school and knew that I was 16. He would leave me waiting on his neck and call and ignore for an entire day and get mad if I didn't text back. (You must had gone through a lot with this guy, it wasn't fair he treated you this way. He seems to have a lot of issues in terms of abandonmen and anxiety) We were long distance so we weren't face to face hardly ever. When I would finally get ahold of him, he wouldn't hold the conversation if I wouldn't send him pictures and I thought I was doing the right thing if I wanted to be his girlfriend. (I understand, at the time you felt like you needed to do anything possible for him to love and accept you) I let these men use me and now I'm scared to give that part of me to people for fear that they'll leave after, and I feel like if I don't they'll leave anyways because that's what I've seen time and time again. (Its understandable your fear. I think its important to really get to know these guys while spotting red flags on order to stop dating them soon as you see these behavior. Ask questions about their pasts, look at how they interact with you, if they are sharing way too much information, if they get along with their family, and tons of other questions)