Can you lose your faith that quickly
Today has been a hard day
Im frustrated, im hurt and a bit mad at God
I want/need him to show up in ways he hasnt and it had me quesitning my own belifes in God
Witch then lead me to ask the question if im questioning God this much can i lose my faith that quickly
I dont think so but I do think there is a level of 'why would God let this happen'
Why would God let me go through all this
Why would he let me be a blessing for others but not bless me at all
Why is God not showing up
If I belive hes a mercifal God why do I not see or feel his mercy
Will God even show up
To the last part I dont think so
I've also been reflecting
There has been only one other time where I NEEDED God to show up and he hadent
This was nearly a decade ago and it resulted in me turning my back on God
But as I think about that time I still dont undertand why God didnt show up
What happened didnt need to happen, there is no lesson learned and I'm still looking for Gods mercy in it
Eventualy things worked out but in a lot of ways not for the better and when God didnt show up I had to and more pain then I could ever discribe came from that
The thing I remeber the exact moment/event that I needed God the most and he was no where in sight that was the moment I turned from him
Now in the present I'm having a fimmiler feeling but I know God to well to turn but I dont know
Maybe I need to take a step away, figure it out and come back
Maybe God is only there during the drizzle and not the storm and I need to figure it out
That doent sound right but at this point what else could it be
I needed him to show up so long ago and I cant wait any longer, I dont even know that not waiting even means - do I even have a choice?
So back to the question - Can I lose my faith that quickly? No but I think I can start questioning it
@callmeRM
Hi, sorry that you had a tough day. ☹️ That makes sense that you'd be feeling frustrated and confused when you really need something but God doesn't seem to be providing it. "If God is merciful and I really need this, why wouldn't He help me? He's fine with using me to help others, but then when I need help I don't get it? That doesn't seem fair. I'm not doubting that God is real, but God doesn't seem very merciful right now."Will throw out some ideas/reactions that I have in response:
1) Religion feels fragile to me if it's simply "when I pray for X to happen, God will give it to me". Because I think experience (yours, mine, other peoples') would show that we don't always get what we ask for, even if it's what we feel we desperately need. I imagine there must be millions of people throughout history who have experienced significant suffering despite praying for the opposite to happen.
2) One aspect of faith for me involves recognizing things that don't make sense or feel uncertain and still trusting that there is some kind of resolution to be found in the future. "I don't know how to make sense of this right now, but possibly at some point in the future I'll be able to make sense of it."
3) Possibly prayer might not be something that prevents bad things from happening to us, but rather something that establishes a certain kind of attitude/relationship with our own suffering (connection, sensitivity, yielding, compassion, non-violence, humility) that enhances our ability to get through that experience without struggling too much. Coincidentally, I feel like these are the very qualities that Jesus embodies and asks His disciples to embody.
4) God's activity/presence in the world wouldn't necessarily be limited only to things that seem "religious". Worldly actions, problem-solving, personal effort, introspection, etc. are still all presumably things that God influences and sustains. What I mean is that if there's a "non-religious" approach to a problem that helps with suffering (e.g. applying strategies from psychology, talking to other people), it feels okay to use that if it's helpful. Trusting in God feels like it would allow gratefully trusting in and utilizing the resources and capacities that God has made immediately available for us, including our own personal intelligence/effort.
@callmeRM I'm sorry you're going through so much lately. Many years ago I had the same kind of questions, not just for myself but for all good people in bad or horrible situations that they didn't deserve. No answer I ever heard/read--I've seen them all, take my word for it--ever made sense. Either there was at least one flaw in the internal logic of the argument, or it was immoral (sometimes to the point of being obscene), or both at the same time.
At a certain point, I realized the truth of the old maxim:
"For those who believe, no explanation is necessary. For those who don't believe, no explanation will suffice."
